My Tears Dont Fall They Crash Around Me
by MyHeartIsTheWrstKindOfWeapon
Summary: Patrick Stump is depressed, his insecurities are staring to smothering him. can some one pull him out of this dark pit?And Save him from his self? Tune In to find out! RandR
1. My Tears Dont Fall They Crash Around Me

-1I hate him Patrick thinks to him self as he stands around the photo shoot while Pete chats up the cute blond photographer and at the same time is being told over and over how good he looks. It made him physically sick to his stomach. He looked at over with a big grin. At that moment both know that he was going to be getting laid tonight. And Patrick, HA, Patrick hadn't had sex in over 6 months. I'm a pathetic waste of life. He mumbled

"Patrick what do you think of these shots?"

"There fine Pete." Correction he thought to him self, he's fine I look like shit. Maybe if I could manage to loose 50 pounds but that's unlikely. I hate the fact that he never takes a bad picture. For once I wish that he would get in an accident nothing serious or any thing but just mess up his face for a while or have him gain like 100 pounds. Then Mr. pretty boy wouldn't be so damn cocky. The thought brings a smile to his face.

"What?"

"What, what?"

"What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing"

"Come on I want to know."

"Its nothing…really."

He looked at Patrick concerned. You couldn't blame him Patrick hadn't been him self lately. He had been an ass to Pete the past few weeks. And on top of that he had been over stressed. This just hasn't been his year. To make things worse Pete knew it and he wanted to talk (it's all that fucking therapy). He opens his mouth to say some thing to. Probably some thing alone the lines of, 'Come on tell me what's up.' or 'You wanna talk.'

"I'm going to get out of here I have work to do."

"You wanna grab a drink first."

"No."

Pete didn't get an explanation. Patrick just left him standing there most likely wondering what he did. Joe said some thing to him as he walked out the studio and headed down the stairs. But Patrick didn't catch it.

Pete paced the studio. He was worried about his friend. The boy who had become his brother was now grown up and this made Pete feel helpless. He couldn't very well go to his dad and tell on him like a small child. And what would he say. 'Make Patrick talk to me.' No that wouldn't do. He was Pete Wentz he would think of some thing.

"Joe, what the hells up with Patrick?"

"I don't know I asked him where he was going but… he ignored me."

"You think he's ok?"

Andy and Joe just shrugged. The two of them couldn't help but think that this was how Pete had acted when he over dosed. That was a scary thought, mainly because non of them could tell what Patrick was truly capable of. Patrick was complicated and Pete was the only one who had any real insight into Patrick's mind.

Andy sighed. "Maybe we should talk to him, we really don't want a repeat of…well-"

"My suicide attempt, Andy you can just say it. I'm better now."

Silence fell upon the group.

"You two cant tell me that you think he actually would. It's Patrick he has more common since then that."

"I don't know Joe would you have guessed that Pete would."

It was true the news about Pete had completely blind sided them.

"Give it a few days." Pete said suddenly. "If things don't change or I cant get him to talk then we'll do what we have to do."

They all nodded, they couldn't help but worry.

Patrick walked into his dark cold and lonely apartment. By now it was 10. He left the light off and walked slowly into the bathroom. He set his glasses on the counter on washed his face with ice cold water. He dried his face with the towel and through it onto the floor. He stared at his round pudgy face in the mirror. His eyes fell upon his razor. He picked it up and turned it over in his hands eyeing it like it was some foreign object. He lay it back down and left the bathroom. He would be full of shit if he said he never thought about letting those steal blades eat through his skin. Hell he thought about it quite often. Truly though he was to scared, of the pain of what people will say. So he didn't, he would ignore that little voice in his head that said do it, and it might feel good. Stripping down to his boxers he reentered the bathroom turning on the shower head. He crossed his arms in front of his chest as he waited. He walked over to the closet and pulled out a scale.

"Do I really want to know?" He asked out loud.

He stepped on, then numbers climbed up and finally stopped. A mixture of anger and sadness flashed through his body. He touched his soft stomach and sighed. I need to get this weight off me. He thought. His phone was ringing in the other room. Not bothering to get it he slid open the shower curtain and stepped inside letting the hot water scold his body.

Patrick used up all of his hot water before he willed him self to get out of the shower. Which he masterly did with out looking at his body in the mirror. Making a mental note to him self to get rid of that accused mirror that loved to point out and high light every one of his many flaws. He hit the play button on his answering machine.

"Tick its me..." I know who it is Patrick thought aloud. "So look I know you've been a little down lately and all. So tomorrow we're going to grab some lunch. No excuses you hear me. Or so help me god I will drag your ass out of that apartment." Patrick stretched and crawled into his big empty bed. He lay staring up at the ceiling before sleep captured his body.


	2. Ive Gotten Use To A Lot Of Shit

-1Patrick awoke to the phone ringing. He rolled over and glanced at the clock.

It blinked 1:30.

"Hello?"

"Hey Patrick you up."

"Now I am."

"Duh. Sorry so are you going to come grab a bit with Pete, Andy and me?"

"Yea Joe I guess." Patrick said pinching the bridge of his nose.

"OK great. I'll see you in like I don't know an hour."

"Yea I need to shower and crap so an hour is good. By."

Patrick hung up on Joe before he could say by. He rolled over and stared at the ceiling. He really didn't want to go to lunch. He knew that they were basically waiting for him to have a break down. I wont give them that satisfaction he thought. He hated being treated like a child. He wasn't even the youngest in the group but they treated him like he was. Pete had always treated him like that.

Pulling back the covers and letting his feet hit the floor he walked to the kitchen and cracked open a monster. He walked back to his room and pulled on pair off dark jeans and a purple prince shirt he toped off his look with a tan newsboy hat and a black zip up hoodie he didn't look good but he didn't look bad either. He collapsed on the couch. Anxiety began to over take him. Patrick had been playing this game for a while but this was the first time he had felt like he was loosing it.

Pete had flung open the door with a big grin on his face.

"Hey ready?"

"Yea."

The car ride to the restaurant was silent. Well not completely silent there was Pete's sad attempt at trying to get Patrick to open up and talk to him. Patrick answered in one to two words but he mainly just stared out the window in complete and utter silence. After a few minutes Pete gave up. Patrick was scaring the hell out of him. Mainly because Patrick had always been his go to guy. The person he could confide in go to for advice he was one of the very few people Pete could trust. Patrick was the one to pull him out of hot water. Hell Patrick was one of the very few people who didn't want any thing from him. Pete how ever had gotten so use to the being the one who needed to be saved that he didn't know how to save someone him self.

Lunch wasn't as uncomfortable as the car rid was. Patrick managed to smile and act like he was better. Patrick picked apart his food, which was perfectly normal for him. He wasn't the sit down and eat a huge meal person he would pick at his food maybe eat half then he would be finished. Patrick was picking at his fries and listening to Joe go on about something completely unimportant. Patrick was nodding and acting like he was paying attention. Ice cold water however interrupted his thoughts.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" He yelled jumping out of his chair so fast he knocked it over.

"Oh my god. I'm so sorry." Cried a cute blue eyed waitress with chocolate colored hair. She pulled out a rag and began to dab at the large wet spot on his pants and shirt. People were starting to stare. Patrick grabbed her wrist.

"I'm fine." He said sternly then turned and headed to the bathroom. Leaving the waitress to clean up the glasses and Andy, Joe and Pete to snicker about what had just happened.

Patrick stood in front of the sink cussing and cleaning him self off with paper towels.

"I'm so sorry."

Patrick jumped a sweet female voice shook him from his anger for a moment. He spun around to see who had spoken those words. It was the dark haired waitress.

"I'm sorry for scaring you too."

"You didn't scare me… you shouldn't be in here."

"What's the big secret? I know how male anatomy works."

"Let me help."

"No you've done enough."

The waitress ignored his words and pulled a few paper towels off the roll and once again dabbed at Patrick's wet cloths.(This time much more gently) She is pretty. He thought to him self.

"Let me make this up to you."

"How by dumping something else on me?"

"Maybe, I'm Catherin."

"Patrick." He stared in to her eyes. God she's beautiful he thought.

"Thanks I have to go."

"So Patrick… are you going to ask for my number or am I going to have to dump more drinks on you if I want to see you again."

Patrick froze he was pretty sure she didn't know who he was, but at the same time girls never acted like that around him especially if Pete was sitting at a table near by. (That was the hole reason re had ended his last relation ship, well Pete basically ended it for him by delivering the news that she had tried to 'jump his bones'.) She ripped another paper towel off the roll and pulled a pen out of her pocket. She jotted he number down and handed it to him.

_555-6795 Cat._

Instead of feeling happy or excited a flash of dread erupted inside of him. He stood there in the bathroom staring at her number. He took a breath and walked out and back to the table.

"I'm ready to go."

"Okay well give me a minuet."

"No Pete no minuet I'm socking wet I don't feel good and I want to go home."

The look in Patrick's eyes said he wasn't kidding. Pete glanced at Andy and Joe for help they didn't give him any. He stood up and they walked to the door in silence.

The minuet they arrived Patrick swung open the door and headed for the elevator. Pete sat in the car for a minuet before whipping out his sidekick and texting Joe.

Pete: WTF he's really pissing me off.

Joe: Ino what r we gonna do?

Pete: Kill him

Joe: Don't think we can. What happened?

Pete: Got out slammed the door and just left.

Joe: WTF. This is getting annoying go say something.

Pete: Really? I should.

Joe: Yes idk bout u but I'm sick of this game.

Pete: Same I'll tell you & Andy what happens.

Joe: Good luck. Call if you need back up.

Pete didn't bother to get back to Joe. If he needed him he would call him. He had a few choice words for Patrick. He ran up the stairs all the while trying to think of what he would say to Patrick. He was pretty good whit his words but he didn't want to put Patrick on the defensive or piss him off. Making him mad would be the worse thing he could do. Not only could he end the little communication they had and it could also get physical. At first glance Patrick really didn't look like much but he could through a punch like a champ.

The door was locked, Pete pounded on it a few time but no one answered.

"Trick open up!"

Nothing but silence. "Mother fucker. PATRICK you sonofabitch."

He rummaged through his pockets until he found the key to Patrick's apartment. The apartment was dark. No surprise there the thought. The door to his room was shut and locked. Fear gripped Pete's mind. He couldn't hear any thing.

"Oh god no" He whispered.

"PAAAATRICKKKKK" suddenly the door swung open.

"What." Patrick snapped sharply.

"You scared me."

"What do you want Pete."

Pete witnessed Patrick go from looking like he was going to rip his throat out to looking like he was about to cry. His eyes flashed again and then he looked like his old self. Pete's anger subsided he took a deep breath to collect him self.

"Can we talk."

Patrick rolled his eyes.

"I'd rather not Pete."

"I'm not gonna lie to you Patrick, you have been scaring me to death lately."

"Your point?" Patrick's voice was cold and callous.

"Just tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong why do you think that there is some thing wrong with me?!" Patrick's voice was steadily rising.

"Forget I said any thing."

"Fine."

Patrick stormed out of the room. Pete noticed a small piece of paper sitting on the coffee table. He carefully picked it up and unfolded it.

"Who's cat?" Pete asked picking up an empty bottle of vodka.

Patrick shrugged.

"Hey she's that waitress isn't she?"

Patrick nodded.

"You gonna call her?"

"No."

"Why not."

"Why should I"

"She was cute. Call her or I will."

"Be my guest."

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?"

One thing Patrick was good at was stepping around things, he could get you so turned around that you wouldn't be able to get straight.

"Call her."

"No."

"Why."

"WHY PETE I'LL TELL YOU WHY. Its because there is no way in hell she would actually go for me ok."

"Then why did she give you here number."

"She was bored, she thought it would be fun, its fake. I don't know why ok. I've gotten use to that I can live with the fact girls like her would never take a second look at me until they find out about the fame. I'm use to being just Pete's friend, I can handle girls asking me if you and Ashley are still together. I can handle being asked for your number. I can handle being the hot guys friend! What I cant handle is when you walk in here and act stupid. Like you have no idea this is how it is."

"Patrick come on that's not true."

"What are you here for Pete? To rub it in my face? To try and play the good guy?"

"I don't know what your talking about."

"Just leave Pete."

"Patrick…"

"GET OUT PETE NOW!!"

Pete left he knew better then to provoke him any further. The minuet Pete left Patrick shut and locked the door. He then walk into his room and locked the bedroom door as well. He wanted to be alone. He sat down on the bed and let the tears fall from his face.


	3. The Lonley Are Such Delicate Things

-1Patrick sat slumped against the head rest of his bed mindlessly flicking channels. The blue light from the TV flooded the bedroom. The phone had been ringing about every hour. Patrick would pick it up and hang it up again. He had no interest in talking to any one or trying to explain him self. Pete had called him 15 times, Joe 4 or 5 and Andy some where around 7. He glanced at the called Id. It was Pete again. 'If you don't answer it he'll only call again.' He thought.

"Pete stop calling me." He snapped before slamming down the phone.

Pete let out a sigh. He had been trying to get a hold of Patrick for the past hour. Andy and Joe were looking at him for answers but Pete didn't have them.

"So?"

"I don't know Andy. He wont talk to me he's mad but I have no clue why. Fuck he probably doesn't even know."

"Maybe he'll just come around on his own"

"What do you mean Joe?" Andy asked cautiously

"Well maybe he's fine, like it's just stress or some thing. You know, and maybe he can work this out on his own and us doing this is only making things worse."

"That does make sense"

"No it doesn't."

"And why not Pete, you don't have any real idea of what's going on"

"You two just don't get it, If you could have seen the way he acted… it was…indescribable."

"Explain Pete."

"Well Joe, what I saw in his eyes. Its like I saw thirty different emotions flash across his face in a split second. The way he acted- there's no way in hell this is a just a step back and let it take care of its self thing"

They both nodded after all Pete was right.

It had been about three days sense Patrick had left his apartment. He hadn't spoken to Pete sense he came over and he wasn't planning on seeing anyone any time soon. There was no food left in his apartment, not that there was much to begin with. Patrick never had much food in his apartment. Now that his refrigerator was empty it forced him to go out in to the world. He pulled on a hoodie and headed out the door. The store was only 5 blocks from his apartment. It was colder outside then he guessed it would be. I should have worn an extra hoodie, he thought.

The store wasn't busy this made his day a little brighter. He grabbed a shopping cart and walked through the aisles. He filled the cart up with nothing of particular importance. A few packages of black licorice, a couple frozen pizzas some energy drinks. A couple bags of chips some vodka and beer. He walked up to the check out all the while keeping his head down. He didn't want to be recognized especially when he had a shopping cart full of junk. He was standing behind an elderly women who insisted that he had 43 cents in change. Patrick slowly began to set his stuff up on the conveyer belt.

"You never called."

"Huh" He turned around, surprised to see a familiar dark haired girl with a sly smile on her face.

"I gave you my number and you didn't call."

"I…I ah I'm I uh." Fuck this nervous stutter his mind screamed.

She giggled. "You know I could always grab a bottle of water and dump it on you… since your into that."

"I'm sorry" He muttered it like a scared child.

"Don't be. You should be sorry if you don't accept my offer to take you to dinner."

"Then I guess I'll be sorry."

"Humm." Cat sighed she prided her self on being witty and bold. But Patrick shut her down in a heart beat. She racked her brain for some thing cute and witty to say. She liked Patrick or at least thought he was some on she could like. He was cute sort of chubby but cute nonetheless. He was quiet and shy that made him mysterious. And Cat loved any thing out of the ordinary.

"Throwing a party?"

Cat quickly realized that she had just said some thing wrong. Mainly because of the pink color that crept into his face.

"No." Patrick said silently cursing himself for buying some much shit.

Cat was now realizing that her time was running out. If she wanted to get to know Patrick more then she was going to have to make her move now. No more games.

"I would love to get to know you more Patrick."

He looked her in the eyes for the first time.

"Trust me you don't."

"You cant tell me what to do, trust me my parents tried and failed miserably."

"I bet they did." Patrick said reaching into his wallet and pulling out 60 dollars in cash. He was starting to feel better. Cat was cute after all. So far she was the only one to make him feel a little better. He made a promise to him self, if she asked him dinner again he would accept.

"I'll see you around." She said handing a 20 to the clerk and paying for a can of hair spray.

Patrick nodded, Way to go Patrick he thought you just blew your shoot. He slowly picked up his bags.

"So you sure you don't want to get a gourmet meal with me?"

"Um a-a-a-actually that um sounds…good."

"Great." Her blue eyes lit up like fire works. She grabbed a few of his bags and headed to the door.

"Gourmet huh." Patrick playfully asked as Cat pulled her small car into the McDonalds drive through.

"Yea." She said giggling.

"One moment please." The electronic voice chirped. "Ok how can I help you."

"Ah yea I'll have a double cheese burger, large fries and a vanilla shake and one minuet" She glanced at Patrick.

"Just fries."

"Really? Don't you want a burger or some thing? I'm buying."

"Yea I'm good, I don't eat meat so."

"Oh ok. I need a large fry and a chocolate shake."

"I don't need a chocolate milk shake."

"Yes you do, for the fries."

"…K." He was slightly confused why did he need a milk shake for fries.

"Your total is 9.14 please pull around."

Cat pulled over and parked her car. The Shins were playing loudly on the radio.

"I cant eat and drive at the same time sorry."

"No problem."

It was silent in the car. Cat wished she could say something to get rid of that sad look in his eyes. She bit into he sandwich and chewed slowly she couldn't help but smile at the cute guy she had basically assaulted just a few days before.

"You know you are eating those wrong."

"What?" A smile crept across his face. Score one for Cat she thought with a grin.

"I shouldn't correct you its rude."

"Well I would like to know how to do it properly"

"No no its rude to correct a guest"

"You already mentioned it so spill." Patrick was now grinning from ear to ear.

"You have to dip the fries into the milk shake."

"Eww that sounds gross."

"Come on Patrick" She said as she gripped his knee "don't you trust me?"

"You pretty much attacked me the first time I met you so I'm gonna go with no."

"And you never called me so I guess were even."

She grabbed a few fries and dunked them in his shake.

"Open up."

"No."

"Do it."

"Or?"

"Or? Or I'll make you where it. Now open."

Laughing Patrick did as he was told. She was right the fires did taste surprisingly better with chocolate milk shake on them.

"Good?"

"Yea surprisingly."

They stayed like that for the better half of an hour. Talking and laughing and feeding each other.

"You know normally I cant stand this shit."

"Really I love it."

" Yea because of my job I'm on the road a lot so I eat a lot of junk."

"I eat it like once every day."

"Wow that's-"

"bad I know but I have a great metabolism I get it from my mom."

"Lucky I'll probably gain forty pounds from eating this, I gain weight no matter what I eat. That's why I look like this."

"I think you look good."

"Thanks" Patrick whispered giving her a weak smile.

That's when Cat made he move she quickly leaned in and planted a kiss on Patrick's full red lips. Patrick pulled back he was startled. Girls didn't do that unless they knew who he was. It was scary.

"I'm sorry was that?…"

"No." Patrick gasped. He grabbed her arm and pulled her back in to him. That's how they stayed wildly making out in Cats car. Sweating and gasping for air like a couple of love struck high schoolers.


	4. Split Me Wide Open And Look Inside

-1"I should go." Patrick whispered finally pulling away. Buy now they were both out of breath and there faces were red. Cat had a hicky on her neck and Patrick had her lip gloss smeared across his face.

"Do you have some where you need to be?"

"Yea actually, I do."

"Where?"

"I have… um b-b-b-"

"Come on spit it out."

"band practice."

"band practice?" Cat giggled

"Yea were gonna play a show for this new night club that opening."

"Wow."

"Yea." He liked Cat a lot but he wasn't ready to tell her that playing for a club, was a cake walk and no big deal what so ever.

"So your probably so nervous. What do you do?"

"I sing."

"Wow, I could never imagine singing in front of all those people. Aren't you scared?"

"Yea I guess so." Patrick was a little nervous but he hadn't been so nervous that he felt like he would puke since the first big show they did. He was completely over the stage fright he had and now he loved it he fed off it.

"I'll give you a life home and help carry your shit in."

"Ok thanks."

Patrick let her drop him off but he didn't let her help him carry his 3 bags up with him. He promised he would call her (and this time for real). He walked into his apartment with a smile on his face. He couldn't remember why he felt so bad to begin with. He walked over to his answering machine and hit play. Pete should have called him with the details for later that night. Normally he wouldn't have to rely on Pete for this but he had been dead to the world for the last few days. Pete however didn't call. He had a few messages from his dad asking him if he was ok a few old ones from Pete but nothing about the show. The probably got sick of trying he thought. He picked up the phone and dialed Pete's number. It went right to the machine, Pete screened all his calls.

"Pete pick up its me."

"HELLO PATRICK!! Are you okay?"

"Yea I'm fine. So what's the plan for tonight."

"Well we were gonna go to the club a little early play for an hour or so then get crazy and probably play again."

"Humm"

"But if your not up to it you can leave after the show."

"No I think I'll stay, get out of the house for a while you know."

"Yea I know"

"So what time should I be there for warm up?"

"7 and were planning on starting at 11"

"7?"

"I can push it back if you-"

"No I was thinking, we have an hour to sound check and warm up the relax a few hours and get cleaned up changed and start."

"Do we have songs lined up?"

"Not really we" he paused clearly debating on whether or not he should say something. "we pretty much work that out together."

"Okay do you want me to come over? I'm sure Andy and Joe are there."

Pete was shocked. He almost couldn't speak. Just a few days ago there was nothing he could say to pull Patrick out of his black hole and now he was calling and inviting him self over.

"I guess I'll see you later then."

"Yea I'll be over in like twenty minuets. Peace"

"Buy."

Pete stood there in his house completely and totally shocked. What had gotten into Patrick, one minuet he wouldn't even talk and the next minuet he's fine. Pete felt his stomach flip flop and a terrible thought crossed his mind. 'What if I don't know him as well as I think I do?' Pete pushed this thought out of his head. Something happened something big to boost his ego. Pete shook his head and grabbed a bag of chips from the kitchen and headed back to the living room where Joe and Andy were arguing on the couch.

"What's wrong with you?" Joe

"Fuck him just toss me the chips."

"I just got off the phone with Patrick."

"Let me guess he doesn't want to do the show."

"No Andy he was fine, Like completely normal he said he was going to come over and he's totally game for hanging out at the club later too."

"That's unlike him." Joe said through a mouth full of food.

"I say we don't make a big deal out of it and try not to piss him off."

Andy and Joe nodded after all Pete knew Patrick better then he knew him self.

Patrick knocked at the door and then walked in side. He knocked mainly for his own safety he had once walked in on Pete getting busy and ever since the he had knocked before entering. He slammed the door and walked in to the living room. Andy Joe and Pete all fell silent and turned to look at Patrick.

"Creepy" Patrick said in a sing song voice before heading to the kitchen for a bottle of water.

"So…Patrick every things cool?" Joe asked this question carefully. Pete shot him a glare he had just told them not to say anything.

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"I was just wondering."

"Ok"

They spent the better half of the evening messing around. Pete keep stealing glances at Patrick just to convince him self that Patrick was ok. Joe finally pointed out that it was 6 and they still didn't have any songs lined up.

"Okay" Pete said with a sigh.

"FINEEEEEEEEE" Patrick said in a high pitched whiny voice. "I guess we should work. so…."

"I'm kinda feeling Dance, Dance" Andy stated

"You wanna open with it?"

"I think it would be a good opener Pete."

"Okay so we have our opener 11 more songs to go."

"Wait" Patrick chimed in "an 11 song set?"

"Ya then we'll take requests and stuff."

"Oh ok Pete."

"How do you guys feel about doing Honorable Mention?" Pete asked

"No way"

"Why not Trick?"

"Cause I don't want to."

"Three against 1 so…"

"fine… what if I don't sing, like I just stand there and not do it."

"then you'll get your ass kicked."

"fair enough… I'll sing."

They were on their way to club which took longer then expected mainly because Joe took a wrong turn and they had to stop and ask for directions. When they finally arrived to the club they were already half an hour late. They did a quick run through of the songs they hadn't done in a while. After they were done with that and Patrick was sure he had his voice warmed up the went back stage and lounged around in the back room. Where they talked and laughed and hung out.

"So your ok Patrick?"

"Shut the fuck up Joe" Pete yelled

Andy slugged him in the arm. They all looked at Patrick they were waiting for something anything.

"I'm fine"

"What was wrong though?"

"I was just stressed out I guess." He offered them a smile and they ate it up. He didn't have to talk about what had been eating away at him for the past few weeks.

"I told you guys!" Joe shouted.

Andy and Joe seemed happy with the answer. He looked fine and he was acting fine and that was good enough for them. Patrick was family and as long as he was happy they were happy. The only one he couldn't quite fool was Pete. Pete had been keeping an eye on him all night. Waiting for a crack in his foundation for any sign of an eternal struggle but that's not what he got. Pete knew Patrick wasn't fine he knew him to well. There was something bubbling right below the surface. He had been able to keep from loosing it altogether but he wasn't out of the woods yet. What is it Patrick, he thought to him self, what happened to you that's so bad you cant tell me. We're brothers were more then brothers… we're band mates. I would be dead now if it weren't for you, so why cant you just let me help you. Let me pull you out of the water before you drown.

"Guys your on in five!" The loud voice of the stage director broke his concentration.

Patrick hopped up and grinned at Pete. "Shall we?"

"We Shall."


	5. Just One Night

-1It was about 3 in the morning when Patrick finally got home, he took a cab because he didn't trust him self enough to drive. He wasn't drunk but more then just buzzed. Free vodka tended to do that to you. Pete would probably stop buy later. (He was still at the club and when he went out and got drunk he always came to Patrick's instead of going back to his parents house.) He tossed his hat and t shirt on the couch, they were both socked with sweat. He stopped and hit the play button on the machine. I've been quite the popular fellow lately. He though to himself.

"Hey Patrick its cat, umm I'm not sure what time you'll be back from your little band thing but give me a call ok?"

Patrick picked up the phone dialed her number let it ring once and then hung up. Its to late she's in bed and if I call her now she's gonna think I'm a freak. The phone rang.

"Hello? Did you just call me?"

"Ya I did but I um its really late and-"

"Patrick hey how was your show thingy?"

"Um good so ah"

"Do you wanna come over?"

"Its late"

"O then maybe…"

"NO! I mean no…I mean its 3 and well I'm surprised your up"

"Ya insomniac, what a fun thing"

"why don't you come over to my place I'm really in no condition to drive"

"you don't sound drunk but I'll see you in like 15"

"ok buy"

Cat was there buy 3:30. That had given Patrick just enough time to change and shower.

"Do you always have a hat on?"

"Its kinda my thing"

"its cute"

"really?"

"ya."

Patrick looked at the floor. He had nothing to say, he was looking like an idiot. Cat put her hand under his chin and tipped his head up.

"Why don't you look me in the eyes?"

"I-um- I didn't-I'm so sorry"

"don't be sorry."

"ok sorry"

"Shut up and kiss me"

When Patrick kissed Cat he saw fireworks any cliché metaphor about love he had ever herd had just been proven true. Cat was rubbing her hand on his crotch. She paused and began to take off his shirt. Patrick naturally took a step back.

"shy?"

"self conscious."

"don't be she whispered"

"we don't know each other"

"I'm not asking for a ring Patrick, just one night."

Patrick though for a moment, one night just one night. I have to be confident and act like Pete would for just one night. He smiled at Cat took her buy the hand and lead her to his bed room and shut the door. It was just one night but god what a night it was.

Cat woke up to something being knocked over. She glanced around she had no clue where she was. Then she saw Patrick sleeping soundly next to her, and every thing came flooding back. She was happy to be there but at the same time scared of all the noise coming from the other room. Someone was in there.

"Patrick…Patrick…Patrick wake up" She shook him gently till he started to come around.

"huh wha what what is it."

"I hear some thing"

"Like what." He was already going back to sleep. Cat shook him once more.

"some one is out there I don't wanna be found dead in a strange guys apartment"

"okay I'll check it out." He rolled over and closed his eyes.

"Patrick!"

"ok, ok" Patrick swung his legs out of the bed and wrapped the comforter around his waist.

Patrick stumbled out of the bed room he was drunk from sleep. A dark clad figure stood in the kitchen at the refrigerator, a sick yellow light flooded the room.

"What are u doing?"

A very drunk Pete turned around. "Huh."

"what are you doing?"

"Food"

"o… get some sleep its 5."

"ahuh"

"and keep it down you woke me up"

"Sorry" Pete let out a series of high pitched giggles "are you naked?"

"huh?" Patrick glanced down he was still clutching the comforter around his waist. "Ya…be quiet"

"ok"

Patrick stumbled back into his room shut and locked the door. Pete was still drunk and there was no telling what weird thing he would do. Cat was sitting up in the bed her hair hung in a stringy mess. He couldn't help but stop and admire her perfectly breasts.

"well…"

"Pete's here" he mumbled walking back to the bed.

"Pete? Who's Pete?"

"He's Pete."

"Why is he here?" Cat laid her head on Patrick's chest and closed her eyes. She could here his heart beat… slow and steady. Patrick never answered he was already fast asleep with his arm around her. She sighed to her self and smiled then she closed her eyes and let the beat of Patrick's heart and the rhythm of his breathing send he to sleep.


	6. Naked Breakfast

-1Cat woke up with the warm sun on her face. She let out a satisfied sigh. Patrick was a good lover, hell he was a great lover. The way he held her kiss her touched her. It was sensitive and powerful at the same time. It was completely un describable. Her rumbling stomach tore her attention off the young man sleeping soundly beside her.

"Patrick" She whispered softly in his ear. "Patrick"

"Humm"

"Are you hungry"

"Humm"

"How about I make us a naked breakfast? You'd like that wouldn't you big boy?"

"Ahuh"

Cat giggled. She stood up and slowly walked to the door. It was locked. Cat was looked at the door confused then back at Patrick. She shrugged turned the lock and opened the door. It was a bit odd that he would lock his bed room door in his own house but it was his house he could do what ever he wanted here.

Cat entered the kitchen she found a half empty carton of eggs and well not to much else for breakfast. He did however have coffee. What a typical guy she thought. She put the coffee in the machine and hit start. The smell of coffee began to fill the apartment.

"Your sweet ass making me coffee?"

"You know it tiger." Cat giggled.

There was a long pause.

She herd Patrick get up, Cat arched her back and smiled.

"Back for more big boy?" She asked sweetly as she turned around. "MOTHER FUCKER"

Cat screamed as she turned around to a very hung over Pete. Cat let out a scream as she attempted to cover her self up. Patrick came flying out of his room (still naked mind you).

"Whoa Patrick"

Patrick's face grew beat red, he was well a where of his weight gain standing in the kitchen with out the cover of dark of a few sheets to help hid those extra pounds made him feel like dieing. The room fell deathly quiet. Patrick was the first one to speak.

"I'm…I'm gonna go put clothes on." Cat nodded and fallowed. After pulling on her clothes she gave Patrick a quick kiss on the check, before (quickly) heading out the door. Patrick came out of his room fifteen minuets later he was still embarrassed about being naked and looking like he does. He walked out of his room still red faced (only clothed in a over sized hoodie and baggie jeans) Pete was sitting on the couch drinking coffee. Patrick got himself a cup. Pete giggled.

"Shut up Pete."

Pete lost it he dropped his cup and was laughing so hard tears were rolling down his face.

"I'm so glad I came back here last night."

"Fuck off." Patrick was thing to stay mad but how could he the hole thing was pretty ridiculous.

Patrick punched Pete in the arm and took a set next to him on the couch.

"Lets never talk about that again."

"I'm so ok with that"

"So who was that? I may I comment on that rack?"

"Her names Cat and no you may not"

"Ok then can I comment on your package?"

"You know what yes you can comment on her breast."

"But your sooo much hotter then her."

"Pete I swear to god I'll kill you."

"FINE but Cat who is she? I know I've seen her from some where…"

"The waitress from that restaurant." Pete looked at him blankly. "She spilled drinks on me."

"Oh ya you did call her! She I told you so"

"Well no I didn't, I ran into her the day we had the other day at the store and we grabbed some food and you can guess the rest."

"Way to go. I mean hitting that. Who would have thought you had it in you."

"I know but I was pretty wasted last night to."

"Liquid confidence my friend."

"So, wanna get star bucks? This cat person made very weak coffee?"

"True lets go"

"You'll have to show her how we like it. I wont have you date some one you cant make strong coffee."

"Were not dating"

"Yet"

Pete and Patrick drove down to Starbucks. Patrick was a completely different person, then who he was just a few days ago. They took a booth in the back. (to avoid any crazy screaming/crying girls) They sat in a pleasant comfortable silence, Pete was toying around with his side kick and Patrick was looking at his hands. Pete shut his side kick and looked at Patrick with wide eyes.

"So your doing all right?"

"Ya I guess."

"You guess?

"Ya"

"You wanna explain?"

"Not now"

"Yes now."

"I've just been in a low place"

"How come?"

"Low self-esteem, me being me, all the shit that's been going this year."

"ok"

"what"

"If those low places are ever to much for you I'm here"

"ok no problem"

There was a long uncomfortable pause.

"Are you gonna call her?"

"Cat?"

"No my mom."

" Your step mom, she's nice"

"Ok shut up, seriously"

"No I'll so call her, does she ask about me?"

"A. Shut up and be serious B. she only asks about you because your with me all the time, I think she's worried were gay"

"Hahahaha, but I think I will."

"Do you like her?"

"I don't really know her but, I think so I mean last night. I know how lame this sounds but I saw fire works."

"That is lame."

"Well I'm not the poet here."

Pete smiled. What was he suppose to say Patrick had hit the nail on the head.


	7. The Color In Your Face Gives You Away

-1Pete and Patrick sat in that booth for the better half of the day. They were both hung over and moving seamed like an impossible task.(At least for the time being)

"My head hurts."

"Mine to"

"I drank to much"

"I know…maybe you need A.A"

"I hate you trick."

"I know"

Pete smiled as he opened his side kick.

"what."

"nothing"

"no really who are you talking to…is it Ashley?"

"nope I'm telling Andy and Joe you got laid last night."

"Please tell me you didn't tell them about the…"

"yep"

Patrick's face burned red.

"Don't be embarrassed you know there the only ones I would tell and it was so funny I had to."

"I'm not embarrassed."

"Ya, you see I would believe that but the color of your face ALWAYS gives you away."

Patrick just smiled.

"wanna come back to my place?"

"You mean your parents place?"

"Ya no ones home so we can have all the sex we want."

"Well when you put it that way no."

"Fuck you then, come on."

Patrick and Pete sang loudly the hole way home (despite there pounding head aches) The minuet they got there Patrick took the TV remote and flopped down on the couch. Pete followed his lead and with in minuets they were both sound asleep.

Neither of them stirred until around 5:30 when Pete's Dad came home.

"Hey I'm home"

"SHHHHHH! Pete and Patrick are on the couch asleep."

"WHAT? This is MY house. He wants to stay here fine but I've told you both a million times I'm not changing my life to fit around his."

"Fine wake them up I don't care dinner is done any way."

"ok"

Pete and Patrick by now were up.

"I told you your step mom loved me"

"Shut up, you staying for dinner?"

"Ya I don't have any where else to be"

"ok"

"Well I'm glad to see sleeping beauty is up." Pete's dad said with a touch of sarcasm to his voice. "Hi Patrick how's your dad been?"

"Good you."

"I would be so much better if I could get a cretin some one out of this house." His dad said sternly. They both knew he was only kidding and would never toss Pete out on his ass like he had threatened so many times before.

"Are you staying for dinner Patrick?"

"Sure what are we having?"

"Spaghetti."

"Ya I'm staying."

Pete smiled at Patrick. It was weird to be so close to some one, he didn't even have this kind of relation ship with his own brother. He went to Patrick for any thing and every thing. It hurt him though that Patrick wouldnt open up to him, it made him wonder how Patrick really felt about there friend ship. Did he feel like this was just business? Or only drinking pals? Pete had always felt that they were closer then that. Not that he was gay, but he felt like Patrick was his long lost brother or some thing. Well ya he did tease Patrick senselessly but it was all out of love. He would never do anything to hurt him.

"How was your show?" His fathers question pulled Pete from his thoughts.

"Ya it went great"

Patrick nodded with a mouth full of spaghetti.

Pete's mother made sure they all had enough to eat. Pete packed away 4 heaping plates and Patrick managed 3.

"Some one likes my cooking"

"Ya" Patrick laughed nervously. He mentally kicked him self for eating so much.

"I should probably head out. Thanks for the meal"

"Not a problem Patrick, its always a pleasure to have you. Would you like to take some home?"

"No thanks I'm stuffed as is."

Patrick put his dish in the sink and headed for the door.

"I'll call you later Trick."

"Ok."

"BUY!!" Pete's parents said at the same time.

As Patrick walked to his car he checked his phone cat called, she had left him a voice mail. He listened to it before he pulled out.

"Hey handsome its Cat. Umm its 7:00 and I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite." Patrick glanced on the clock it was 8:17.

"I had a great time last night" she didn't mention the morning incident, thank god he thought. "Any whoeser call me when you get this. Buy. Oh and don't worry about how late it is. Buy. I don't know if you remember but last night I told u I was an insomniac and that's why you don't need to worry about it being late. Buy." -click-

Patrick laughed he had to she was ridiculous. By now it was 8:20. I should go home and change he thought looking down at his soft belly, which was now bloated and stuck out (noticeably) under his shirt. As he pull out of Pete's drive way and started toward his place his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey Patrick its Cat."

"Hey what's up?"

"Nothing you?"

"Same I'm on my way home."

"Oh. I was wondering if you wanted to do some thing."

"No I just wanna stay home."

"Oh."

"You can come over if you want."

"Are you sure?"

"Ya."

"Ok I'll see you around 9:30?"

"Sure."

"Ok buy"

"buy"

-click-

Cat wasn't as on time as she was last night, she arrived about 20 minuets late. It didn't take long to figure out why.

"I hope you don't mind I picked up some movies and ice cream."

"Ahh none for me thanks."

"Are you sure?"

Patrick showed her to the couch and put in the movie, as Cat opened up the ice cream.

"Ya I'm stuffed"

He sat down on the couch and she slid close to him.

"Really what did you eat?" Cat said asked stealing a glance at his swollen stomach.

"Pete's mom make spaghetti."

"yum…who's Pete?"

"Um then guy who-"

"enough said"

Cat had trouble watching the movie. She kept stealing glances over at Patrick. Watching his facial expressions change. The way he would take his hat off and run his fingers through his hair before putting it on again.

"what?"

"huh"

"you keep looking at me."

"so"

"why are you doing it?"

"well obviously I like what I see."

"ya ok" Patrick spat sarcastically.

"don't be an ass."

She eyed the round bulge under his shirt and grinned. Patrick caught Cat staring at his stomach. He wasn't sure what to think. It made him feel very uncomfortable. 'I have to loose this weight' he thought.

"I'm gonna go get a hoodie. Are you ok?"

"Ya I'm fine."

Patrick wasn't cold he just wanted to try and camouflage the spare tire around his waist. At first he didn't think it was all that noticeable but Cat had been looking at it so it had to be. He glanced at him self in the mirror and sighed. He had been feeling good about him self all day but no he felt sick just looking at him self. He felt his confidence drain out of him.

He pulled the (oversized) hoodie over his head and walked back out into the living room. This time he took the seat farthest away from Cat.


	8. Self Loathing Is Quaint

-1Cat sighed and helped her self to more ice cream. She truly didn't get Patrick and she was normally good at figuring people out but Patrick through her for a loop. (As the saying goes) She could see he was uncomfortable any one with eyes could figure that out but she needed to know why he had moved away from her. They had spent a fantastic night together it didn't mean he had to be all over her but shouldn't he at least sit by her?

"Do I Smell?"

"No what?! Why?"

"You moved away from me, I was wondering if I smelled" Cat giggled she was trying to get Patrick to loosen up a bit.

"No"

"Welllll"

"Well what?"

"Why cant I Sit by you?"

"Y-y-you can I-I-I-I never said you couldn't"

Cat felt frustrated she didn't like to play games. She didn't think she had to jump through hoops for a guy, even if she kinda liked him.

"Never mind I just wanted to watch a movie with you" Cat huffed as she stood up. "I'm gonna go"

"Why? Y-y-you don't have to"

"No I think I do."

"oh"

"Um you can keep the ice cream. And I'll call you tomorrow some time…ok?"

"ya ya sure, I'll talk to you later then right?"

"Of course"

Cat picked up her bag and headed for the door. 'Don't look back' she thought. But her heart got the best of her. She glanced over her shoulder as she opened the door. Patrick was leaning over with his head in his hands. Cat shut the door behind her and stood out in the hall way wondering if she had just made a mistake.

Patrick stood up. And walked into his room then out then into the kitchen then the bath room. His head was swimming.

"FUCK" he yelled and through a glass of water against the wall. It shattered into a million pieces. He stood there for a moment breathing as if he had just run a marathon. He felt the self hatred begin to fill his mind. Cat had left because she came to her senses and realized what a sad pathetic waste of life he was. He felt like he wanted to cry to break some thing to hurt him self. But all he could do there is stand there engulfed in his blind pointless rage.

Cat she stopped where she was after she herd Patrick yell what she thought was "fuck" she also herd some thing break, she was growing worried she hadn't herd any thing come from his apartment in some time. She turned around and headed back down the hall way and towards his door. She lifted her hand to open knock then paused and pulled back. She wasn't sure what to do at this moment, but it had been quiet for way to long.

She knocked 4 quick times then stepped back.

The door flung open and Patrick stared at her with a mixture of surprise and wild emotion. She gasped and took another step back. His hat was off his head. His strawberry blond hair was messed up and sticking up wildly, his green eyes were wide and wild, those big full red lips partly parted. They said nothing. Then Cat flung her self at him, kissing him deeply and wildly. They parted gasping desperately for air and stumbling backwards into Patrick's apartment. Cat pulled off her shirt revealing a black lace bra, Patrick wasn't even thinking any more his body was now in auto pilot his male instincts had taken over he wanted her and nothing else. He kissed her chest and ran his fingers through her dark hair.

"God-your-beautiful" he gasped between kisses.

Cat only moaned in reply she didn't want talk. Talk would shatter the perfect moment she was having with a man she had met only a few days ago. She pulled off Patrick's hoodie, which pulled up his shirt as well. She caught a glimpse of his round soft pale stomach. She suddenly felt more longing to be with him. She slipped her hand under his shirt and began rubbing his soft stomach.

Patrick pushed her hand away. While animal part of his brain was screaming 'forget it, you need this your gonna have her don't you dare do any thing to fuck this up' there was a much more nagging voice that was repeating over and over 'What ever you do DON'T let her see you naked.' The second voice was starting to win.

Cat slipped her hand once more under his shirt and gently squeezed his soft middle. Patrick pulled away from her.

"what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Cat reached for him again but he stopped her.

"…don't"

"What you didn't mind last night"

"I-I-I-I-I"

"Come on what's a matter" Cat giggled as kissed him at the edge of his mouth.

Patrick didn't answer.

"Humm what's a matter?"

"I don't want-"

Cat suddenly noticed some thing. The look of animal intensity was now replaced with the look a pleading small child.

"Oh Patrick" she whispered. Wrapping her arms around him.

Patrick sat down on the couch and Cat laid her head on his thigh. Patrick traced circles on Cats back.

"I wanna go slow" Patrick said after about 20 minuets of silence.

"what was that?"

"Slow…I wanna move slow"

"Me too"

"I move to fast and things tend to go up in flames"

"I really do want to get to know you better Patrick."

"Likewise"

Cat rolled over on her back, Her chocolate brown hair framing her heart shaped face and her blue eyes sparkling. She reached up and ran her fingertips around Patrick's pudgy face. He took hold of her hand and planted a kiss on it.

"God your Beautiful"

"thank you." Cat blushed.

Patrick continued to trace shapes across Cats stomach until they both fell asleep.

Cat woke up before Patrick but unlike the previous day they were alone. She shook Patrick awake and pulled her shirt back on.

"What!"

"its morning well its past morning its around 10"

"That early?"

"its not early, how late do you normally sleep?"

"um well I sleep late."

"like how late 12?"

"some times 2 or maybe 3"

"oh my god!"

"what?"

"don't you have a job?"

"well ya but I don't have set hours I guess you would say. Speaking of jobs do you have to work?"

"nope I'm off today"

"you, I don't know… wanna hang out?"

"of course!! But I think we should start with breakfast."

"Ill see what I have"

Patrick stood up and stretched. He walked over to the kitchen and opened the frig.

"ok I have some…eggs, coke, coffee, ketchup, bead and that's about it. oh and some chips and frozen pizza"

"why don't we hit up Denny's"

"ok my treat?"

"fine"

Patrick hardly spoke the on the ride to Denny's. This made Cat wonder if he had some thing wrong, seriously wrong. When they walked through the door the hostess made as if she had known Patrick. 'She has to know him' she thought she did say his name many times. Cat felt threatened, skinny blond was a bit to happy to see him. She grabbed Patrick's arm and smiled, the hostess gave her a viscous look before showing them a table. She sweetly handed Patrick a menu while at the same time giving him a nice view of her fake cleavage. Then She tossed Cat hers and walked away.

"you ok?"

"huh? Ya I'm fine why?"

"You haven't said a word in over I don't know 25 minuets"

"oh sorry I just need some coffee"

Cat giggled

"Soo do you know her?"

"who"

"that bimbo of a hostess"

"no"

"she looked like she knew you"

Patrick shrugged and smiled at Cat

"So"

"so what?"

"I don't know…what don't you tell me about your self."

"What do you wanna know?"

"What ever you wanna tell me. Right now all I know is that you work as a waitress and like to dump drinks on guys who you then stalk."

"well that's me in a nut shell. Um let me see. I went to collage to be a doctor but I dropped out to peruse a career in the arts."

"really? What?"

"sculpting, I actually spent the last year and a half in Europe."

"wow how'd you like it?"

"oh I loved it. I spent most of my time in Italy, you know because of all the amazing art. I mean the Sistine Chapel was utter breath taking. I was starting to have doubts about dropping out and stuff but when I saw the most amazing work of art in the world I just felt like every thing would be ok, and I sat down on the floor and started to sketch and I sat there for hours. I mean I don't even know how long I was there but I just know some one came up to me and told me that I had to go so they could prepare for the next morning. Have you ever been to Italy?"

Patrick paused taking a deep drink of his coffee.

"Ya I have I actually travel a lot."

"so you know what I mean, about the Sistine Chapel."

"Um actually I have never scene it."

"WHAT, you went to the most beautiful city in the WORLD and you have never scene one of Michelle Angelo's greatest works of art."

"I know isn't that terrible, but I'm my defense I was only there for 2 days."

"Who goes to Italy and doesn't even check out some of the sights? You know what I cant talk to you any more you disgust me."

"oh what ever"

"Excuse me are you two ready to order?" A young boy who looked about 16 stood holding a pad and pencil. He stared at Patrick a moment, looked him up and down before pulling his gaze away.

"Could you give us a few more minuets?"

Patrick nodded in agreement "oh and when you come back could you bring me another coffee?"

"coming right up" And with that the young waiter walked away leaving the two alone.

Cat opened the menu and Patrick fallowed her lead.

"God I'm staving, what about you"

"ya I am kinda hungry."

"its almost noon but I think I want some breakfast food. I love breakfast food. I'm not that good of a cook but I can make a breakfast to die for."

"really"

"ya maybe I'll cook for you some time."

"that will be nice."

"are you two ready to order?" the young waiter asked as he poured Patrick a fresh cup of coffee.

"ya I'm gonna have pancakes, scrambled eggs bacon and hash browns."

"ok and for you sir?"

"Ill have the same"

"all right easy enough. More orange juice miss?"

Cat nodded and he walked away.

They laughed and poked fun at each other. Patrick found out a lot more about Cat before there food came. Her parents were both doctors and they always punched her to take the same career path as they had. She was a native New Yorker. Cat was a very skilled artist the most classes she had ever taken were in high school. She had a younger brother (only younger by six months) who like her disappointed there parents buy becoming a tattoo and pricing artist. (He was also a fantastic artist.) She moved out when she was 18, her father was much more accepting of her and her brothers career choice then her mother was. Cat and her brother Damian were very close and he was her best friend.

There food came, and Patrick who was feeling famished dug in. They ate there meal in silence for a few minuets before cat finally spoke.

"So what about you?"

"what's your last name?"

"Richten, its French but that's besides the point"

"is there a point?" Patrick asked as he raised his eye brows.

"Oh there's always a point it just differs from person to person. Tell me about your self."

"I like poetry and long walks on the beach"

"Don't be a smart ass what's your story?"

"I don't have one. I hate talking about my self I'd much rather hear about you"

"I don't care what you want"

"I think you do"

"why don't we play 20 questions, ill ask a question and u answer it and if your uncomfortable then you don't have to answer it."

"ok"

"what's your last name?"

"stump"

"that's a funny name"

"ya I know, I even legally changed the spelling of it so people would be able to pronounce it, but they still screw it up."

"people mess up my last name to. How was it spelled before?"

"S-T-U-M-P-H, I dropped the 'H' off of it."

"You have a middle name?"

"martin"

"wait…that makes your initials PMS" Cat let out a loud laugh.

"ya I guess my parents didn't notice that or they didn't care. What's yours?"

"Elizabeth"

"Catharine Elizabeth Richten, you initials don't spell any thing fun, but it's a nice name."

"Thank you, what about your family?"

"I'm an only child and my parents are divorced"

"aw I'm sorry."

"don't be my mom got pregnant when she was 17 and my dad asked her to marry him, things weren't working from the start but my dad tried"

"did he remarry?"

"no my mom did, I'm not sure how it worked out because I haven't scene her since she left"

"wow"

"ya but it doesn't matter she didn't really want me any way."

"I'm so sorry"

"don't be"

There was a long uncomfortable silence. Patrick looked up at her and smiled as his shoved another bit of food in his mouth and washed it down with his now luke warm coffee. Cat stirred her food, she still had a bit on her plate but she was full her eyes had once again been larger then her stomach.

"So what do you do for a living?"

Patrick shoveled the last few bites into his mouth.

"I'm stuffed"

"ya me to"

"you ready to get outta here?" Patrick asked as he stood up with the check.

"ya I'm ready"

They walked up to the front and Patrick handed his money to the rude blond hostess with the fake boobs. The blond hostess then handed him a pen and paper and he signed it. 'That's odd' Cat thought, 'he's paying in cash why would he need to sign some thing'

"Ok sorry about that."

"don't worry about it"

Sorry about what she thought.

"So are you gonna tell me about you job or is it top secret…are you a spy?!"

"No, I'm gonna tell you, I just didn't wanna talk about it in there."

They walked hand in hand to Patrick's car. He walked around her side and opened the door for her. He walked back around and swung him self up into his vehicle. Started the engine and pulled out on to the road.


	9. Even If It Kills Me

-1"You're a musician?"

"Ya I'm lead singer in a band."

Cat pondered this before she asked any more questions. It didn't make sense. For one Patrick was very shy, how could he get up in front of a stage every night if he wouldn't even take off his shirt around her. Plus he looked like he was pretty well off. He had a nice big apartment. But then again-

"Cat?,"

"huh"

"I asked if you were ok,"

"Ya I'm sorry I spend too much time in my head, but you're a musician?"

"yes,"

"would I know any of your stuff,"

"most likely we've gotten pretty popular over the past few years."

"what's your bands name?"

"Fall Out Boy"

"that's an odd name"

"ya, you wanna go to the park?"

"sure, but I wanna hear some of your music some time,"

"ok,"

Patrick was quiet the thought crossed his mind that maybe it was a bad choice to tell Cat all this so soon. However Cat took his hand up in hers and his fear subsided. It was a beautiful day out. The sun was warm despite the cold wind. It was already almost 2 his mind was searching for some thing to say but his phone ringing pulled him back to earth.

"Hello?" he asked pulling his hand out from under Cats so he could grasp the steering wheel.

"hey trickster,"

"hey Pete,"

"what's the hap's"

"as of right now I'm sitting in traffic, you"

"Vegas,"

"what"

"I'm in LOS VEGAS"

"when did u leave?"

"like 4 this morning,"

"why"

"to make some head way with the panic album, is it head way or hay way?"

"I don't know dose it matter, why didn't you tell me"

"I didn't tell you? I could of sworn I told you, I feel like I did, oh man I' so sorry"

"Its fine Pete" Patrick began to rub his temples, Pete had the amazing ability to give Patrick a migraine.

"well how's the recording going"

"terrible,"

"come on it cant be that bad"

"oh its bad and I'm pissed,"

"go on"

"they sound like shit, they weren't even warmed up when I got here, they act like they've never done this before"

"that bad huh?"

"ya and I'm having trouble with a few of there songs,"

"what kind of trouble?"

"I cant get it to sound right, I don't know,"

"is it the sound boards?"

"I don't know, trick I need you and you musical genius! Can you come?"

"ya, ya sure I'll be there" Patrick stole a glance at Cat and smiled. "how soon do you need me?"

"I want you on the next flight out here."

"Which would be… when"

"the next flight leaves at four, I bought you a ticket and ill meet you at the air port to pick you up,"

"ok…"

"tricky I love, love, love you. You're a life savor"

"I know, I know I'm just that great."

"ok ill see you in a few hours, peace"

-click-

Patrick went back to rubbing his temples. He couldn't be angry at Pete for not telling him about having to go to Vegas. Sometimes Pete would think about things so much that he couldn't remember if he had done them or not. Mostly he just figured he had and just went about his day. Patrick learned very quickly how to play catch up and piece things together.

"what was that about?"

"it was Pete he needs me in Vegas, I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to get you home so I can get ready and catch a flight,"

"Its no problem at all, take the next exit here."

"I'm really sorry about this, I just wanted to spend time with you."

"oh please don't worry, take a right up at the light. Your gonna have fun"

"ya right, where am I going now,"

"its Vegas trust me your gonna party so hard you'll totally forget about me, keep going straight till you hit the stop sign"

"k, but no I wont forget about you and I do have fun there my friends but its gonna be more of work, late nights at the recording studio and too much take out."

"take out my goodness!! How horrible! How do you stand it, a left here"

"as fat as I am right now Vegas is not going to be fun"

"HEY!

There was a sharpness to Cats voice that Patrick had never herd before, it both startled and aroused him.

"don't say that about your self, ok. I think you look perfect. don't bash your self. I don't ever wanna here you talk like that. Who cares if you're a little chubby or if you come back a few pounds heavier? I'll still want you just as bad as I do now."

Patrick couldn't say any thing. He was touched. He knew his friends couldn't care less about his weight gain, and his father was only unhappy with his new found attitude. But coming from her it felt different. Not like she was saying it just to say it or because she had to, she meant it.

"Turn down the road on your right and it's the apartment complex on the right."

"k"

Patrick pulled into the parking lot. He was trying to think of some thing to say with out coming off as a sleaze ball. He got out of the car and walk around to Cats side.

"I was gonna get your door,"

"oh I'm sorry, do you want me to get back in so you can open it up for me?"

"no that's fine"

"walk me up?"

"sure,"

Cat lived in a small too bed room apartment with her room mate josh and his (current) boy friend. It was small but cozy enough and rent wasn't that bad the only problem was they were on the 6th floor and there was no elevator which was only a big deal on laundry or grocery day. Patrick how ever was feeling very out of breath by the time they reached Cats floor. He tried his best not to show it but he hadn't done any thing that physically exerting in months. 'I have got to get into shape he thought'.

"so" he gasped.

"you wanna come in side?"

"sure but I cant stay long,"

Cat showed him in and Patrick took a seat on the couch after moving a bike helmet.

"you want some thing to drink"

"sure"

"coke, water or eww…two week old milk"

"coke."

Cat walked back in and handed him a can, she pushed a pile of cloths off the couch and sat down.

"sorry about the mess, are you ok,"

Patrick chugged down his soda

"ya" he gasped, "I guess I'm a bit outa shape."

"I hate those stairs"

Patrick laughed a Cat joined him.

"how long can you say,"

"half an hour…did you really mean what you said in the car?"

"mean what,"

"about how I look"

Cat placed a hand high on Patrick's thigh and squeezed it gently.

"I meant every word I said"

Patrick reached over and brushed her hair out of her face and leaned in to kiss her. She knocked his hat off his head as she moved her arms around him. He tasted good and she longed to have him just once more before he left.


	10. I'm Hopelessly Hopeful

-1Cat swung her leg over Patrick and straddled him between her firm thighs. She ran her hands through his strawberry blond hair, kissing his neck and nibbling at his ear lobs. She took his hand in hers and lead him down a small hall way to her bed room. She slowly striped her self of her clothes reveling a perfect hour glass body. Her breasts rose and fell with each breath. She laid down on her bed and smiled at her young lover. Patrick fallowed her lead. Quickly kicking off his shoes and socks. He fumbled with his belt in the dim room. Cat giggled.

"Hurry up stud or I'll have to start with out you."

Patrick kicked his jeans off and tossed them aside. He started to remove his shirt then paused. It wouldn't impair there love making to leave it on. Besides he couldn't wait any longer the hot throbbing pressure between his legs was becoming unbearable, if he waited any longer he was sure he would loose his mind. Slipping off his boxers he started toward the bed fully erect.

He crawled on top of Cat cupping her breasts in his hands and kissing her chest. She moaned softly "please"

Patrick grinned, she was at his mercy, and he liked it oh god how he wanted her. But not yet he thought not just yet. Patrick teased her for the better have of 5 minuets until she screamed.

"I NEED YOU NOW! TAKE ME! TAKE ME!"

And with that she rolled over on him, pinning his hands down and kissing his neck. She started the pull his shirt off and this time he was glad to help her.

She felt like heaven, every inch of her was pure ecstasy. They made love like they would never see each other again. Patrick worked her up to 3 screaming orgasms before he too erupted with pleasure. He laid down next to her breathing quick shallow breaths.

They were drenched in sweat and exhausted. Patrick felt like he could sleep for days but he knew he had a plane to catch.

"I need to go soon"

"I know"

Cat laid her head on his chest, and let out a sigh.

Patrick's head was swimming with thoughts. Was it possible to fall in love so quickly? He had never believed in love at first sight, but Cat she was like a cool breeze on a hot day. How was it a girl he barley knew could make him feel invincible?

"Its getting late,"

"hum"

"you'll miss your plane"

"maybe I should"

"no you cant do that"

"why not,"

"because"

"your right" Patrick sighed as he sat up. "where are my clothes?"

"umm, turn on the light you'll be able to see better"

That was one thing Patrick was not excited to do. Even in the dim lit room, you could clearly see his stomach protruding. He took a deep breath and stood up holding in his stomach a little and glanced around the room for his jeans and shirt.

Cat giggled getting a nice view of his round tight ass and muscular thighs.

"I think I through your shirt over there"

Sure enough there it was, his gray t shirt laying in the far corner of the room on top of an old green beat up converse. He quickly pulled the shirt over his head at the sound of Cats giggling. He turned around and smiled back at her. As his mind strained to remember where he was when he took his pants (and most importantly under where). He spotted them; laying in a in a pile just in front of the door. Patrick was on cloud nine, he wanted nothing more but to stay with Cat but he had a plane to catch in about 55 minuets. He still had to go home and shower and change not to mention pack. He wasn't eve sure how long he would be gone. He pulled up his jeans and buttoned and zipped them, they were a tad snug but he really didn't mind, nothing could bring his mood down. Cat pulled her self out of bed and staggered over to Patrick wrapping her arms around him and pushing he breasts into his back. Just then the door flung open.

"hey skunk bag" yelled a voice from the other room.

A slim dark haired man walked in. He had a bit of stubble on his cheeks. He was lean and had a slight muscular build to him. His brown eyes sparkled brightly out from under full brows. In simple terms he was handsome. He caught sight of Cat and Patrick and a look of apology crossed his face.

"Oh sorry kids, I didn't know you two were getting busy"

"No, its ok josh, we were just saying good bye. Walk you to the door," Cat picked up a bath robe off the floor and pulled it over her slim shoulders.

"who's that?"

"my room mate josh," she whispered in his ear "don't worry he's as gay as a rind stone cowboy"

"really"

"oh ya, you'll have to watch out though, don't think I didn't see the way he was eyeing you"

"he's not my type"

"he's every ones type, but any way you'll call me when you get there right?"

"ya and every other chance I get."

She leaded in to kiss Patrick, there lips parted and with one last good buy Patrick headed down the stairs and out to his car. The wind whipped through his hair. 'wait that's not right' he reached up and touched his soft yet messy hair. 'shit, shit, shit, shit' Patrick had forgotten his hat at Cats house. He turned around and looked back by now he was almost to his car. 'fuck it' he thought he looked at his phone 45 minuets. He sighed he would have to get his hat back later, he was much to tired to climb back up those stairs to see her. Plus his time was running out, he needed to get going if he wanted to make the flight.

When Patrick got home he rushed around throwing clothes and every thing else he might need in a suit case, in another bag he put his lap top cell phone charger and ipod. He paused debating if he should bring his guitar or not, another glance at the time told him he needed to leave now. Patrick decided that Pete wouldn't mind if he smelled but he did feel bad for the person he had to sit next to on the plane. Patrick had just made the plane. Thankfully the airport wasn't crowded and he got through security relatively quick. He had to run through the terminal to make it on board. The plane only had about 15 other people on it and Patrick had no problem moving to an empty row so he could lay down. As soon as he sat down exhaustion took over. Patrick was able to get a few hours of sleep on the plane. But mainly he just thought about Cat. The captain announced that they would be landing in fifteen minuets. Patrick sat up and ran his fingers through his hair and re-adjusted a gray Von Dutch hat on his head. Still a bit upset he had left his hat at Cats house.

He waited 25 minutes to get his bag. It was really the only part of flying he hated. After he finally got his bag he slowly made his was out of the air port that he had gotten to know so well. Pete told him he would be out front and sure enough there he was leaning up against his car and typing away on his side kick. It was warm in Vegas, hell it was hot. Especially compared to the chilly Chicago weather. Patrick felt sweat start to trickle down the back of his neck.

"sup stumpy"

"you know I hate that"

"sorry, how was your flight?"

"not to bad" Patrick said as he tossed his bags in the back and climbed in.

"that's good, I hope you don't need to go to the hotel for any thing, I was planning on just going to work"

"I figured as much, its no problem, I'm in desperate need of a shower but you can deal."

"I was wondering what that smell was"

Pete didn't exaggerate when he said things hadn't been going well. Pete was a hard ass when it came to work. Any thing he put his name on had to be good. He wouldn't let his friends sound mediocre. Luckily Patrick was there to be the good guy, and cool him down. After a big argument between Pete and Ryan. Patrick had to tell him to go get some air and take a few minuets to chill out. Ryan was laughing.

"ok I think were done here to night"

"GOD Pete is such a drama queen"

"Maybe if you guys would quit fucking off we would have gotten some thing done." Patrick begin to shut down the sound boards and turn off the recording equipment. Ryan's jaw hung open. He was knew Patrick would never choose any one over Pete but he at least thought he would agree with him.

"sorry Patrick"

"its fine, tomorrows another day. But I'm not the one you have to apologize to. I'll see you guys in the morning"

Pete was sitting on a bench out side the studio. He looked pissed. Now would be a good time to tease the hell out of him.

"we have a problem"

"what now" Pete snapped.

Patrick reached over and took Pete's coffee from him and slowly too a sip (a rather dramatic sip)

"were pregnant and I'm keeping the baby"

Pete's dark eyes burned into Patrick. Then a smile crept across his face.

"your such a fag"

"ya but I'm your fag"

"ready to go?"

"oh ya I've been thinking of that hot shower all night"

Patrick locked the bath room door, and checked it and double checked it then checked it once more. Patrick didn't like to be bothered when he was taking showers. It didn't matter if you were about to shit your self or if you were bleeding to death. That door would not open until he was finished with his shower. After about an hour and a half the water began to run cold Patrick was forced to come out. Using a big fluffy white towel he dried off glancing at his self in the mirror, he felt good. For once in his life he was ok with what he saw (granted he was red from the hot water). Until he noticed some thing. He had left his clothes in his bag on the bed.

"fuck" he whispered under his breath. Ya he was feeling better about him self but not that good. Pete had a flawless body, while Patrick's was well flawed. He didn't think he could walk out there in just a towel but then again Pete would bust his balls for a year if he had to ask him to bring him his clothes. He stood there staring at the door.

'fuck it' he thought. Pete was his best friend he wouldn't ever say some thing about his weight. Besides Pete went to go get dinner so if he hurried there was a good chance he wasn't back yet. How ever his luck had run out Pete was back but didn't take a look up from his phone.

"hope you don't mind Chinese"

"no that's fine" Patrick yelled as he pulled on a pair of sweat pants and a t shirt.

"good"

"Wow that looks good, you know I didn't realize until now how hungry I was" Patrick's eye bulged as he stared at the assortment of take out boxes.

"like wise"

"what time is it?" Patrick asked with a face full of chow main.

"almost two"

Patrick just nodded. He was hungry and right now this Chinese food was the only thing he cared about. The last thing he had eaten was a late breakfast and his afternoon was a bit vigorous. Patrick happily worked his way through 2 cartons of Chinese and then some a sharp twinge in his stomach alerted him that he was full. He let out a deep sigh and leaned back on the couch trying to relive some of the pressure on his stomach.

"You weren't kidding about being hungry,"

"no I wasn't" Patrick said sitting up and trying to find a more comfortable position for his bloated belly. He felt a little weird about gorging him self in fount of Pete but then he realized Pete had eaten just as much if not more then he had.

"Ryan called and said sorry for being such a dick"

"that's good"

"ya, what did you say?"

"me?"

"yes you, Ryan normally wouldn't come crawling back until at least 3 days"

"Ya maybe I did say some thing what's it matter"

"thanks, they'll listen to you"

"probably not, ugh its almost 3, what time do we have to get up,"

"they will be there at the crack of dawn"

"your kidding right Pete, I haven't slept in like 3 days and-"

"trick trick trick relax I never said we had to be there at dawn,"

"Oh so your gonna just torture the hell out of them"

"yes hold on I'm gonna call him,

"Ryan, yes its Pete who else would it be, ok about tomorrow, I need you guys up there at 6, err wait better make it five I have a lot of stuff I wanna get done. O and if you guys aren't warmed up and ready when I get there I promise you there will be another band taking your place on my label"

-click-

Patrick erupted in a fit of side splitting laughter and Pete quickly joined in.

"your such a bitch"

"I know"

"there gonna be pissed when we roll in like 5 hours late"

"fuck them"

"lets"

"so you and cat?"

"me and cat" Patrick took a swing of his coke

"tell me more"

"I really like her,"

"go on"

"she's an artist, she's ridiculously beautiful, she's, fun, sexy"

"you're falling in love"

"I think I am"

"dose she know-"

"ya ya I told her"

"I need to met her before it gets serious"

"ok dad"

"no really, did you guys use protection"

"Pete come on stop"

"no I mean it, I'm only worried about you, don't get me wrong trick I'm glad you're ok but you haven't been your self lately and you wont even tell me why."

Patrick was quiet he wasn't sure Pete would understand what was going on in his head. And even if he did what would he say. It made Patrick feel like shit to see Pete going out of his way for him. He felt dirty, and a little sick. How was he going to tell Pete what had been wrong. If he did it could ruin the friend ship they had, but not doing it was straining the tight bond they had.


	11. The Final Word In The Final Sentence

-1"Look I just don't wanna talk about this right now."

"well when are you gonna wanna talk about?"

"I don't know Pete"

"I thought we could tell each other every thing"

"we can"

"then why wont you talk to me,"

"its nothing"

"well I've spent the past few weeks laying awake in bed because I'm to worried about you to sleep"

"can we do this in the morning"

"no,"

"Pete please I'm exhausted I'll tell you tomorrow ok I promise."

"ok good night trick"

"night"

The minuet Patrick laid down in the big soft fluffy bed, his brain kicked on. He suddenly was afraid about tomorrows talk he promised to have with Pete. Also he had just remembered that he needed to call Cat. He fumbled around the night stand for a few minuets until his fingers graced the antenna. He had second thoughts it was late but he needed to call her, and let her know she was on his mind.

"hello?" Cats voice was week and groggy.

"hey Cat its me"

"Patrick? Hey what's up studly,"

"nothing just going to bed, sorry I didn't call you I got wrapped up in work"

"it's no problem babe" Cat let out a yawn "what's on your mind"

"you"

"aww your too sweet"

"ya I know"

"oh guess what I got to day?"

"what"

"a new tan news boy hat"

"ya I know I left it there"

"its ok, a little some thing for me to remember you by"

"I'm sorry I woke you up"

"don't be I gotta get up in like 3 hours any way, what time is it there?"

"I don't know 3:30 give or take"

"you need to get some sleep ok?"

"ya"

"I'll talk to you some time tomorrow."

"ok"

"buy"

"buy"

-click-

Patrick quickly drifted off to sleep, how ever sleep did not come as easy for Pete.

He stared at the ceiling and when that didn't work he watched some TV and when that didn't work her tried reading but nothing could send his troubled head off to dream land. In all reality he wasn't sure if he wanted to sleep. He couldn't handle the nightmare any more. Finally his will give out and he swallowed two small blue sleeping pills. And before long he's lost in his own nightmares.

He's at home and the phone rings but no ones there so he hangs up, then it happens again and again until he doesn't bother to get it. Then he looks up and he's in the hospital and no one can see him, he's a ghost, he watches a doctor shock some one over and over. And he's yelling that they need more blood but he cant see who there trying to save. Then he hears the cold long beep of the flat line. The doctor who calls it is Joe and the one who was shocking the stranger is Andy. They step back and Pete can see who it is…Patrick. They pull the sheet over him. He looks so small frail and innocent. Pete can see long bloody gashes that run up his arm. Dr. Andy turns to Dr. Joe, and says

"what a shame, any reason why he did it?"

"no one knows, all the police found was a note the said 'he never answered'"

The nod at each other and they walk out of the room. In tears Pete approaches the body of his closest friend. He runs his fingers across his cold gray skin and gasps.

He's in Patrick's apartment now. Patrick has been drinking. He can smell the vodka on him. There are tears running down his face as he paces back and forth, phone in one hand vodka bottle in the other. He can see the hurt and anger in his eyes. Pete can here the frantic words escaping Patrick's full lips.

"hello? Hello? Hello? Pete?! Pete?! Please answer me Pete."

He tries again.

"Pete Help me Pete I cant handle this any more Pete Pe-"

Once more.

"Please I don't wanna do this I'm scared Pete,"

More silence on the other end. Each time the phone is pick up but no one ever says any thing. Pete knows its him on the other end, not trying hard enough to get through. Patrick tries the phone one more time. By now he is sobbing uncontrollably, and this time no one picks up.

All of a sudden Patrick stops crying and chugs down the rest of the vodka. He walks in to the bath room. All the while Pete is screaming

"Patrick I'm here. Its ok I'm here" but Patrick never see nor hears him. Patrick then walks into the kitchen and gets a piece of paper a marker and a chefs knife. In black marker in big dark block letters he writes. **HE NEVER ANSWERED****. **He places the note on the table before raising the knife to his wrist, he pushes the point into his skin and blood begins to rush out. Then he pulls the blade back and up to the bend in his elbow. He pauses just a minuet to watch the blood rush out before he dose the other arm. Then he dose some thing else with the blade some thing Pete hadn't noticed in the hospital. He lunges the blade into his chest.

"NOOOOOO! Patrick no, no ,no I was here I was with you why?" Grabbing his hands and kissing his face trying to stop the life from rushing out of him.

Pete sat up in bed, tears falling from his eyes and drenched in sweat.

"I was only a dream" he repeats over and over. But he just cant convince him self. He glances at the clock its almost 9. He stands at the door way to Patrick's bed room but even his doesn't convince him. Patrick's sound asleep. His hair is standing up every which way, his t shirt has ridden up about an inch and the blankets have been kicked off. There's only a sheet tangled around his legs. Pete stood there trying to take in every detail of him sleeping, just to prove to him self that Patrick is ok. I need to touch him, he thought. that's how I'll know this is real. He quietly walks in to Patrick's room part of him knowing that the bed will be covered in blood and a knife will be sticking out of his chest. But another very small part thinks that he is being foolish. Reaching out Pete touches his cheek. His skin feels smooth and warm, he touches his arm and runs his fingers through Patrick's hair. He sat down at the edge of the bed with a sigh.

"it was only a dream"

Patrick let out a small moan as he started to stir. Pete decided it would be best if le left. The last thing he wanted to do was freak Patrick out. Satisfied he stood up and heading out the door being careful not to wake him up.

Pete pulled on a hoodie and a paire of black skinny jeans and headed to the door. He was gonna get them some star bucks and some breakfast. Patrick would probably scip breakfast he noramly did mainly because he slept through it. Patrick could sleep all day if you let him. Pete picked up the star bucks and stoped at a fast food joint to order a nice big greasy breakfast. He jumped when his phone rang. He looked at the caller id befor answering, (Ryan and spencer had been calling him none stop trying to figure out what was going on)

"hey sleepy face"

"hey…where are you?"

"I went to get coffee and grab some food"

"ok thanks"

"I never said I got you coffee"

"shut up, hey did Brandon or anyone call you?"

"nice come back, but ya they did, mostly ryan but the other guys did a few times too" Patrick laughed on the onther line.

"well hurry up and get back, I need coffee"

"ok ok I'll be there in like five minuets."

-click-

Patrick was sitting on the couch wrapped up in the comferter from the bed. Pete couldn't help but smile when he saw this. It was a habbit with Patrick, as soon as he woke up no matter where he was or what time it was he had to pull the blankets off the bed and sit on the couch an watch TV.

Pete took the seat next to him, they both ate in slience. Which surprised Pete, Patrick sciped a lot of meals it was his twised half assed way to try and get his weight under control. Last night was the most food Pete had seen Patrick eat in a long time. Pete wouldn't say any thing unless he felt like Patrick had a problem which he didn't. Ya Patrick had put on some weight but Pete didn't think it was a big deal, hell after the year Patrick had he wouldn't blame him for coming out of it an alcohalic. Plus he didn't put on that much weight, he thought it looked good on him. He looked more like an adult instead of a 12 year old boy. Plus as long as he could got on stange and put on a good show Pete didn't give a rats ass what he looked like. Right now he was just glad to see him eating like a normal person.

"So are we ever gonna talk of just sit here like a husband and wife in the midst of a devorce"

"ya"

"ya were gonna talk?"

"yes" Patrick paused taking a drink of his coffee. His stormy eyes seemed to be looking through Pete and this chilled him to the bone. He said one word and one word only. It was the easiest way to sum up how he had been feeling and why.

"Jackie"


	12. I Cant Fix You And You Dont Want Me

-1"Jackie?"

"Jackie,"

Patrick laid down the rest of his breakfast sandwich, his stomach was turning over on its self and he didn't feel like he could eat, hell he felt a drink. A nice tall vodka and tonic to be exact. That would be perfect to calm his nerves, then again it wasn't even noon yet would that make him an alcoholic? Can you drink before noon and not be one? What if you really needed a drink? Does needing to have a drink mean you have a problem. These were the thoughts that floated into Patrick poor troubled head.

"Patrick"

"Oh sorry I was thinking"

"about,"

"vodka"

What use would it be to lie to Pete. And better yet what use would it be to stop now, he already started so he may as well finish.

"ya Jackie" Patrick said in a voice no louder then a whisper.

"that whore? She's the reason you've been so messed up,"

"ya…I loved her"

"she's a disgusting skank"

"and I loved a disgusting skank who didn't love me"

Pete was quiet. He knew he was hurting bad from this. The wounds were still fresh even though they broke up almost a year ago. Patrick didn't have to tell Pete he loved her. Pete knew better then any one how much he loved her. He was with him on days were Patrick was in such emotional pain he couldn't get out of bed for any thing but the bath room. He was there when Patrick cried so hard he got physically ill. Pete knew she ripped his heart out with her own hand. He knew Patrick blamed him self for her leaving he knew Patrick hated him self. But what he didn't know was that she still head Patrick's beating heart.

Patrick had met Jackie at a show. Which was out of the ordinary seeing how he wasn't that kind of guy. Pete didn't like her from the start. He knew her type. She was the kind of girl who would play with guys, string them along until she got board. Patrick was the type of guy who could see the good in every one (thing, she was a thing). What Jackie did to Patrick was inhuman. Patrick had always been shy and had low self esteem but Jackie had made all that worse. At first Jackie wouldn't date Patrick she just used him when ever she needed some thing.

Then one day she announced to every one (including Patrick) that they were an item. After that the cheating began. In some cases the man she fucked (in Patrick's bed) would be leaving and bump into Patrick in the hallway. She would humiliate Patrick degrade him in public flirt with other guys in front of him, and spent so much of his money Pete was worried he would go bankrupt. One of her favorite topics was Patrick's weight (which steadily climbed up after meting her). She would make jokes, grab his stomach, lift his shirt up, and compare Patrick's naturally huskier build to Pete's slim athletic body. She was terrible she was rude and gorse and had a personality as ugly as they came. When she left Pete was ecstatic. He hid his happiness from Patrick who slipped into a deeper depression then he was in when he was with her. He was a mess but Pete cleaned it up. It was his job as his best friend. And he had to keep his promise to Patrick's father that he would watch out for him and take care of him. He thought he did a good job cleaning up, but in all reality him merely swept the mess under the rug.

They sat in silence for a while neither of them really knew where to go from here. Pete knew calling her names would only make Patrick feel worse.

"I hated you"

"why"

Pete wasn't surprised, he figured this would happen. She kissed him, the girl Patrick was unfortunate enough to fall in love with kissed him. Was it his fault, of course not, did Patrick blame him, of course he did.

"I didn't I guess, but I wanted to"

"I know… what happened that night"

"I don't know, I screamed at her, I guess I kind of lost it. She told me she did it because you are better looking then me, had more talent were better in bed"

"we never-"

"I know, but she had me so convinced, any way she packed her bags and told me to call her when I lost 50 pounds and got some plastic surgery"

"I'm really sorry Patrick, you don't deserve to be treated like that…no one dose but especially not you. And none of those things she said are true."

By now Patrick had tears in his eyes

"are you ok"

"I saw her again" Patrick said so fast Pete almost couldn't believe his own ears.

"when"

"few weeks maybe a month ago"

By now Patrick was holding his head in his hands and tears were rolling off his cheeks.

"why"

Pete's mouth was growing dryer by the second and suddenly he too was contemplating a drink.

"she said she was sorry for every thing and wanted to see me"

"and"

"we had sex" Patrick gasped between sobs

"why"

"I don't know, we just did and for a few minuets I though we were ok but"

"but what" Pete was out raged how dare this tramp do these things to his best friend

"she said-"

" are you o-"

"she said I needed to leave and when I asked why she said , I had to go before she through up because looking at me made her physically ill. I said I though she changed and she said she thought I would have finally gotten my 'fat ass on a diet' and that she WOULD NOT be with some one as short fat and ugly as me. And she laughed. And I started to cry"

"is that it?"

"no, I asked her why she called me and she said she wanted to see if I would really come over, she wanted to see how pathetic I was and she wanted to see how much more weight I had put on. Then she laughed and said if I looked more like you we might have a chance"

"Patrick that's horrible"

Pete was now pouring them both a shot, it was early and they were gonna both need it. Pete had now decided that they wouldn't be going to the recording studio today he would call Brendan and the guys and tell them but not right now. Right now Patrick needed him and a drink.

"You know I never thought about killing my self more then I did that night"

"what stopped you"

"I don't know, I think I didn't want to give her that satisfaction"

Patrick swallowed down his drink, before he broke down. Pete slid closer to him, put his arm around Patrick pulled him into his lap.

Pete's shirt was wet form Patrick's tears. He had been crying for about five minuets. Patrick was beginning to calm down, his breathing was becoming more controlled and then he stopped.

"I'm probably hurting you"

"your fine"

"I'm to heavy to sit on you"

"I said your fine" Pete said this time much more sternly as he wrapped his other arm around Patrick. His skin felt hot to the touch.

"am I the dumbest person in the world"

"no you made a bad choice granted it was a very bad choice, but it doesn't make you stupid your still a kid you have a lot to learn"

"ya"

"I tried to kill my self, I think I'm more qualified for the stupidest person in the world"

"stupidest?"

"shut up, its not your fault"

"then why do I feel like it is"

"because thats what she wants you to think, and every thing she said was a lie. She wanted to see you hurt Patrick"

"what she said wasn't untrue"

"ya it was"

Patrick was silent for a while, Pete was running his hand up and down his back. His mother used to do it to him when he was little and up set, it always relaxed him. He was hopping that it was having the same results on Patrick.

"I love you Pete"

Pete jumped at these words he was sure Patrick had fallen asleep.

"I love you too."

Then he was quiet again. After another half hour Pete was completely sure Patrick had fallen asleep. He slid out from under him being extra careful not to wake him. He covered him up and kissed him on the head. He walked to the table and grabbed his phone. He needed to call the Panic! guys and tell then what's going on.

"Pete?"

"hey Ryan"

"what the hell we've been sitting here ready for hours what gives"

"well me and trick were gonna mess with you and show up like 3 hours late-"

"well you sure are late"

"some stuff came up and were not gonna make it"

The sound of Pete's voice scared Ryan.

"what's wrong"

"its Patrick an-"

"oh god Pete what happened"

"don't interrupt me! He's ok, well not really"

"what do you mean"

"he's just not ok right now, but he'll be ok, right now he just needs me ok."

"ya, tell him we all love him…even if he made us get up before the crack of dawn."

"ok I got to go"

"buy"

-click-

Pete walked back into the living room and flicked on the TV. Patrick was a sound sleeper, and he had exhausted his self emotionally. He would probably sleep the rest of the after noon. Pete once again picked up his phone. He thought about calling Jackie, it wouldn't be to hard to track her number down. But then what would he say. Well, scratch that he knew what he would say but how would she react there was a chance she might decide to toy with Patrick again. There was also a chance he might get on a plane and kill her.

He hated Jackie more then any thing. Pete had never though of him self as violent or even having a temper. Patrick had a shorter fuse then he did. But after Jackie had kissed him he had never been more sure that he could kill some one. He wanted to wrap his hand around her neck and squeeze until she was dead. He would have done it to. And that's what scarred him. Pete thought he knew what anger was, he would get furious when Ashley accused him of things he didn't do, and once when he was 15 his little sister snuck into his room and broke his bass guitar. At those times he thought that he could kill or at lest hurt some one, (and he did hit his sister). But with Jackie, he knew he could kill her with out a second thought and not even feel bad about it. Pete looked at his phone once more before dialing it.


	13. The Potential Of You And Me

-1"Hey"

"hi…"

"Joe its Pete"

"oh sorry"

"ya its no problem"

"are you ok you sound like some things wrong."

"its Patrick"

"is he ok"

"I don't know, but he'll be ok."

"are you sure"

"ya its Jackie"

"that bitch again?"

"ya,"

"well what happened"

"I'm gonna tell you what I told Andy, he still feels like shit over the whole thing."

"cant you tell me any thing else"

"no its not my problem to tell, if and when he's ready he'll tell you guys but he cant right now"

"dose he still love her"

"No I think its more of a deep self hate he has for him self because of her"

"I see"

"ya he is a mess"

"I'm sure"

"he's been in tears almost all morning"

"poor guy"

"ya I could honestly kill that bitch, the things she said to him were unreal"

"I bet,"

"so I'm just gonna hang out with him for a while,"

"that's good, should me and Andy come?"

"no, I'll call you guys if I need you but I think he'll be ok for real now"

"good"

"ya we talked it out all morning"

"good, you're his best friend Pete if any one can fix him you can"

"I hope so, well I got to go"

"ok, call me later ok"

"ok, buy"

"buy"

-click-

Patrick woke up at 3:45, his head hurt his face was still sticky from tears and for a minuet he couldn't remember what happened. Then it all came rushing back to him. The crying the apologizing admitting what he had done and falling a sleep on Pete's lap. He could feel his face turn red, he couldn't believe he sat on Pete's lap. He sat up on the couch and looked around and pulled off the comforter. Pete must have put this on me he thought.

"Pete?"

His throat burned and worse off there was no answer. Patrick quickly learned the reason, Pete was slumped over in a chair across the room, sound asleep. 'It's a good thing I didn't wake him' he thought standing and stretching. He took a sip of his coffee but it was stone cold, his stomach growled slightly but he wasn't ready to eat. He picked up what was left of his breakfast and coffee and tossed it in the garbage. Patrick watched Pete sleep a moment, it was a rare thing. It was an actual sleep not the drug induced coma his medicine put him in or the 5 minuet intervals where he doses off.

Patrick was at a lose of what to do. He didn't wanna turn on the TV in fear of waking Pete up. He could step out for a few hours maybe get some thing to eat. No Pete would be royal pissed if he went any where with out him. He could call Cat but she was probably at work. He settled on putting some tracks together on his laptop. It was work but he enjoyed it. The minuet the put the head phones over his ears he forgot about every thing, he forgot about Pete, Cat, Jackie and the hell she put him through, the world just disappeared and he went to work.

Patrick was so absorbed in his work he didn't notice Pete get up. He didn't notice (hear) Pete call his name or wave his arms at him trying to get his attention, he didn't even notice Pete standing in front of him with his hands placed on his hips. What he did notice was a loud smack, that caused him to jump and knocked his computer off his lap and his glasses off his face. He hadn't noticed Pete standing there but he did notice the smack Pete delivered to the side of his face.

"PETE WHAT THE FUCK" Patrick scrambled to pick up his laptop and recover his glasses.

"you were ignoring me"

"no I wasn't, you're a hard person to ignore"

"your obsessed"

"with what"

"work, music what ever you think of it as"

"you were asleep"

"you could have woken me up"

"ya sure"

"I'm so hungry, you have to be starving too you haven't eaten all day"

Before Patrick could speak his stomach answered for him.

"I guess I was right, what time is it?"

"around a little after 4, I woke up around 3:30 so "

"its almost 7"

"what, it doesn't feel that late"

"maybe we're still on Chicago time"

"maybe"

"so you wanna go get dinner"

"ya where are we gonna go"

"I don't really wanna go out, wanna just go to the hotel restaurant?"

"sure I'm gonna put some clothes on"

"where some thing slutty!"

"ok Pete, sure"

Patrick pulled on a hoodie over the shirt he slept in and slid on a pair of dark jeans. He sat on the edge of the bed tying his shoes. He stood up and looked in the mirror and shook his head. 'I should be skipping dinner' he thought, he would rather be working right now any way while he still had what he wanted fresh in his head. The cords had came to him while he and cat were laying in the after glow of there love making. Then it had been loud in his head but now it was faint and he couldn't seam to get it right. 'I'm trying to hard, I have to just sit back and let it come to me. It cant be forced' He tried to imagine the cords on his guitar but that didn't leave him with much.

Pete and Patrick made it to the restaurant by7:15. It wasn't any thing special just you average run of the mill hotel restaurant. Patrick ordered a vodka and tonic and Pete followed his lead. The minuet the waitress left Patrick began scribbling things out on a napkin.

"what's that"

"I don't know"

"you have to know"

"well I'm not sure yet it could be any thing"

"is it a new song"

"maybe, right now its just a few cords, it just kinda came to me, but I lost it now"

"that's the worse"

"I'm trying not to force it but"

"its hard not to" Pete said finishing his sentence

"exactly"

"when did it come to you, some times if I just redo what I was doing when I got an idea it comes back to me"

"I don't know if I can do that right now"

"why, were you on the plan"

"no, I was with Cat"

"with her with her or just with her"

"the first one" Patrick's face burned crimson.

They spent the rest of the night trying to work out Patrick's song and after many trips to the buffet table and too many drinks, they were no closer to it then they had been when the arrived.

"Well your just gonna have to sleep with her again" Pete slurred leaning back in his chair.

"I plan on it" Patrick through a hand full of fries at Pete who lost his balance and fell back. Patrick began laughing so hard he fell off his chair as well.

"shhh Pete"

"what, wait where'd you go"

"I'm down here"

Pete lifted up the table cloth, which was once white but now was covered in there food"

"HEY how'd you get down here"

Pete crawled under the table cloth.

"Pete your drunk"

"maybe I am a little."

They were laughing so loudly sitting on the floor, that a young couple on there honey moon complained to the waitress about the two very loud gentlemen who were ruing there evening. This was the second time the waitress had to come over and ask them to calm down. The first time was when Pete threw a chicken finger at Patrick, who ducked and Pete ended up hitting an older man in the back of the head. The older man laughed and didn't seam to mind but his hag wife was sure pissed.

"I'm sorry lady Pete is bad you-you-you should throw him out"

"Noooooooooo Patty don't spread terrible lies about me"

The waitress left clearly knowing that she wouldn't get through.

Patrick leaned back in his chair. He was full drunk and happy. They finally caught there breath from laughing when his phone rang.

"who is it"

"I am going to find that out now"

"hello"

"hey"

"oh hi cat"

Suddenly Patrick felt a bit more sober but not but much. He was still feeling giddy and crazy.

"is that cat?" Pete chimed in.

"patty's lil honey, his piece o' ass, kitty cat, meow, meow."

"Pete shut up"

"meow, meow, perr, perr meow"

"sorry"

"its ok, are you ok you sound a bit…well…smashed"

"I am. Actually I got terribly drunk with Pete, because I had a terribly shitty day"

"well I'm sorry to hear that sugar, how about I call you when you are sober and you can tell me all about ok stud,"

"okie dokie"

"buy"

-click-

Cat walked back into the living room. She wasn't sure what to think. She missed Patrick she truly did but right now she wasn't sure what to say or how to act. She was calling because she had needed to talk to him but he incapacitated. She had never even been close to a celebrity, and now she was kinda sorta seeing one. She had Googled his name as well as the band and as soon as she herd the music she was stunned. She had spent plenty of work days singing 'dance, dance' but she never knew who it was by and she didn't really care. And what the computer brought up for Patrick was equally impressive.

"hey isn't that the guy who you"

"ya josh it is"

"WOW"

"I know, what did I get my self into"

"I don't know kid, you know how many girls Google there boy toys, I bet none of them got these results"

"you think"

"ya, he's kinda cute in a weird nerdy sort of way"

"I always thought as much,"

"I kinda think he looks better with the weight on him, he doesn't look like a 12 year old boy."

"don't say that"

"hey I call em like I see em"

"besides I'd really wouldn't mind bending that Pete over"

"oh josh"

"that tight ass of his, he would fight at first but he would enjoy it"

"and now its in my head forever"

" I wonder how many girls can say they saw both of them naked at the same time"

" I may be the first"

"how was he"

"who"

"Patrick, the guy who has you reading Romeo and Juliet and singing love songs."

"he's great he's sweet and funny and nice and "

"I meant the only thing that matters the sex"

"josh"

"what that's why I left Ben he couldn't deliver what I wanted"

"ok so that makes you a whore"

"an expensive whore, you gonna tell me"

"I don't know"

"that bad"

"no it wasn't bad I just don't know how to describe it, he clearly knew what he was doing"

"its not brain surgery, the concept is the same not matter what stick it in the hole"

"3"

"3?"

"3"

"3 minuets"

"no…orgasms."

"oh my"

"oh it was hot and passionate and ohh"

" well I must be off, I have a date"

"have fun"

"if it goes good I wont be home."

And once again Cat was alone with her thoughts about Patrick. The young man she hadn't even got to know but felt like she knew every thing about. She loved him. They weren't even dating and she knew very little about him but she loved him. She realized it in her apartment, the way his arms felt around her powerful and gentle. The way he kissed her. God and those lips, had she ever kiss lips as beautiful and full as those lips. But it was his eyes that had sold her. Those terribly sad eyes.

She knew the first time she saw him that some thing horrible had happened to him. They were like the eyes of a child. He looked so beautifully sad. She noticed his friends to oh yes how could you not, they were just as loud and obnoxious as any group of teenagers she had, had to wait on. They would ogle her and make cracks about who she liked best. It was truly demoralizing ,but she still kept the top buttons on he blouse undone and she would lean in to take orders. Why? so she could get a decent tip so she can pay her rent. God those eyes, they made her so nervous she tried every thing to get him to look at her she wanted nothing more then to see the longing in is eye. Popping her hip out laughing really hard at some lame joke the dark hair guy said, putting her hand on Patrick's shoulder bending over in front of him to pick up her pen. He never said a word he shrugged her hand off of his broad shoulders. He'll he didn't even order for him self, the dark haired guy with the tattoos did that. She had the attention of all but Patrick. She was pissed and flustered that's when she dumped water all over him. His friends laughed.

"way to go Barbie" the tall skinny one had snapped.

Cat got up and walked in to the kitchen. She was in need of comfort food. She placed two pieces of white bread and slathered them with Peanut butter and chocolate icing and topped it off with banana slices. It tasted like heaven. She tried to keep her mind on the food but it just drifted back to Patrick. She stuffed the last few bites into her mouth as she headed into her room. She stripped down in front of her mirror and for a moment she saw his big smooth hands over her body. She let out a moan. And as she thought of his body and felt her self grow wet. Oh that body those firm thick legs, his round butt oh and his belly… it was so wonderfully round and soft. It looked so perfect on his frame. OH how she would love to feed him in bed. Those full lips sucking on a chocolate covered strawberry. She laid back on her bed and slipped her hand in between her thighs she moaned with pleasure as she thought of him and them. It didn't take her long to work up to an orgasm and she thought about having another go, maybe even pulling out her vibrator. No, it wasn't the same. It wasn't him.

Cat lay back and smiled. It was nice to have her fait in love restored. Ever scene she was a little girl she believed in it. She wasn't religious, she didn't go to church. She didn't care for scientific theory's evolution and the big bang board her nearly to tears. But love that was something she as an artist believed in above of all things. After countless bad relation ships her hope was beginning to fail. But Patrick had restored all of her faith. How do you tell a guy that your in love with him when you hardly know him. You cant that's how if she did he would run for the hills. Or would he? Patrick was different then the other guys she had been with. She stretched her arms out and closed her eyes and dreamt of Patrick laying next to her with his strong arms wrapped around his waist.


	14. You Could Be My Punk Rock Princess

-1The next morning Patrick woke up with a pounding head ach. Rolling over to see Pete curled up next to him in bed. He laid there a few more minuets until natures call could no longer be ignored. After reliving him self he decided on a shower. This time he was sure to bring his clothes in with him.

"I have to stop drinking, it's gonna kill me."

Patrick's eyes were red and blood shot, his skin was red and splotchy, and he was bloated from eating too much greasy food. After his shower he collapsed on the couch and dosed for an hour or so. Patrick woke up to Pete shoveling greasy bacon into his mouth. He sat up sharply and hung his head in between his knees and told him self over and over 'I will not get sick I will not get sick' And for a minuet he had convinced him self. The room stopped spinning, his stomach no longer felt like it was upside down. He took a few slow deep breaths before he sat back up.

"are you gonna be ok"

"ya I'm fine"

"you want some bacon and eggs"

The eggs looked slightly runny and were covered in grease from the bacon and then topped off with 3 slices of greasy cheddar cheese. As soon as the smell hit Patrick he knew he was going to be sick. Patrick hardly made it to the bath room before throwing up. He was in the bathroom emptying the contents of his stomach for almost half an hour. Pete asked from the other room if Patrick was ok. He didn't care to go in. Throwing up was a terribly nasty thing. If Patrick was truly ill maybe he would sit on the edge of the tub and 'hold his hair back' (as the saying went) but he knew that Patrick was fine. This was the way Patrick handled a hangover (well a bad hangover) and it was best he did throw up. Patrick would feel terrible all day until some thing made him ill then (aside from the terrible felling one gets from throwing up) he would feel a million times better.

Pete herd the shower turn on once again and he laughed, this time he was only in for a few minuets. Patrick once again changed clothes and joined Pete on the couch.

"I feel better now"

"I'm sure"

"are we going to get some work done to day"

"I hope so… are you sure you don't want some thing to eat"

"get that away from me"

There was a knock at the door. Neither of them moved to get it.

"Open up its us" It was the Panic! Boys

"well now I really don't wanna get up and get the door"

"you should"

"why me"

"I think I'm gonna get sick again"

"Your full of shit"

Pete stood up and opened the door.

"what do you guys need"

"I was wondering if we were ever gonna get this cd done" Ryan said with a touch a sarcasm in his voice.

"well you weren't taking it very seriously so I figured why should we"

"can we come in I have to pee" Spencer said shifting his weight from leg to leg.

"ya come on in, but Patrick got sick so I don't know how clean it is"

"DONTCARE" Spencer yelled as he dashed into the bathroom.

"so you guys partied" Ryan asked

"no, we just grabbed a couple drinks in the hotel"

"no need to get so jealous Ry" Patrick chimed in

"you guys gonna stay"

"no we have an interview in a few hours we just came to see" Brendon stopped

"see what" Patrick asked raising his eye brows.

"how-you- were-doing" Jon said

Patrick nodded.

"well I'm fine"

"that's good…you know we were all worried about you"

"I'm fine. And I'll see you guys around 7 so we can get work done"

"BUY" they said at the same time.

Patrick flopped back down on the couch and sighed. He felt hungry now. Pete laid his head in Patrick's lap. His black hair fell across his forehead.

"you've got such a comfy lap"

"uh thanks"

"your welcome"

"so what time did you tell them"

"7"

"ok,"

Pete sat up and grabbed his side kick,

"can you get my phone, I wanna call cat."

"sure"

Patrick got up and headed to the bed room, he wanted to be alone to talk to her. 'I hope she's not pissed I haven't called her' he thought.

"hello"

"hey its me"

"hey Patrick what's up"

"nothing, hey sorry I didn't call you yesterday I got busy"

"oh I talked to you"

"you did"

"ya you had a few to many I'm guessing"

"oh god cat I'm so sorry if said some thing or asked you some thing or-"

"Patrick its ok, I've gotten shit faced many a times, so"

"so what"

"I don't know are you busy"

"no why are you"

"no I just wanted to talk about some thing"

"ok"

A wave of nerves crashed over Patrick, that's what people said when they wanted to break up. Granted they weren't dating but Patrick liked her he didn't want her to say she met some one else or realized how gorse he was. Her and Mr. Tall dark thin and handsome were probably laughing at him right now.

'wow cat you really bagged a looser, you mean he really though you liked him'

'ya tell me about it he was so pathetic I knew if I slept with him it would be hilarious'

'oh my fucking god. that's so sick, how did you do it'

'oh I know, it was the most discussing thing I have ever done. I thought I would gage. I mean god that guy was such a lard ass'

"Patrick"

"what"

Cat pulled him out of his day dream.

"I asked if you were listening to me but I guess not"

"I'm really sorry I was thinking"

"what about?"

"nothing what were you saying"

"oh it wasn't that important any way"

"ok"

"well actually it is kinda important"

"oh well"

"I like you"

"I-I-I-I like y-y-you too"

Patrick leaned back on his bed. And smiled those 3 words were amazing, were there any better set of words in the human language. Well ok there were and those were 3 other little words he would love to hear her utter to him.

"where do we stand"

"what"

"us, where do we stand"

"I don't know, where do you think we stand"

"I asked you"

"I'm not good at these things, I rush into them and they never end well."

"that's ok you don't have to be good"

"that will be easy"

"you know I searched all that stuff you told me"

"oh"

"ya"

"what are we doing here Patrick"

"what do you mean"

"us, what are we"

"people"

Patrick nervously laughed at his own sad joke. Things were going ok but then she brought up his job and they felt weird again. Did this mean she liked him less or more or just want to be friends. Patrick didn't think he could stand being just friends with her. It was all or nothing…but then again he felt like he needed her.

"did you hear me?"

"I'm sorry"

"you spend a lot of time in your head"

"it's a curse"

"I would love to know what goes on in there"

"trust me you don't, but what did you say"

"I asked what were we doing together you know us, are we dating, just messing around what"

"its more then messing around"

"…so we're… dating"

"if you don't wanna date me its ok, it wouldn't be the first time"

"No I do, I really like you, I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page ya know? I didn't wanna get attached to you if I was just a fling"

"I don't think you could ever be just a fling"

"so"

"so"

"you take a cute picture"

"um thanks"

"no really you do me and Josh really thought so"

"I hate them, lets talk about some thing else"

"are you sure, your one fine piece of ass you know that"

"sure"

"so I'm dating a rock star…I wonder how many girls get to say that."


	15. Kindness Is A Card Game

-1Patrick and Cat talked on the phone for hours, about nothing and every thing at the same time. It was the most incredible feeling in the world. It was completely indescribable but at felt so simple. It was love it had to be. This is what the poets were always going on about this was that feeling every one said you got this was it. Wasn't it?

"how long till you get home"

"a week maybe two, it all depends how the recording goes"

"it takes that long"

"ya there's a lot that goes into it, but I can do the biggest part out of the studio"

"what's that"

"pretty much just putting the pieces together, getting the order of the songs, putting the tracks together laying other sounds on top of it."

"wow that's a lot of work"

"ya but I like it, I've always loved music"

"who's your favorite"

"Prince"

"really"

"ya why"

"I guess I wasn't expecting you to say Prince"

"I love Prince"

"he's ok"

"what do you mean ok"

"he has a couple of ok songs"

A smile crept over Cats face. A little teasing went a long way.

"number one he doesn't have a couple of ok songs, they are all fantastic"

"wow some one sure is testy what are you his stalker"

"as a matter of fact yes, yes I am"

Patrick hadn't learned any thing useful from Pete. Well he had learned a lot of things from Pete not all of them were important for the use of every day life. Like you should always have a hoodie in the car because they were perfect to hid the fact that you are wearing the same clothes you had on the other day, or when in a different country all you need to know how to say is bathroom. However one of the important things Pete had tried to teach Patrick was how to talk and better yet flirt with girls. In particular cute girls you like, granted Patrick had never (and probably never will) master the art of being smooth. Patrick had picked up on the fact that if a girl teases you (playfully) it means she likes you and you should do it back.

"all right then who do you like"

"well you cant tell any one but I like this short kinda chubby guy with reddish blond hair and side burns, he has glasses and he wears hats. But you cant tell him I don't want him to know"

"don't worry I wont"

"do you think he likes me"

"no"

"oh"

"ya he likes this crazy chick, she has long dark hair and the most incredible eyes"

"oh really"

"ya she's really beautiful"

"well I can see why he likes her then"

Patrick put his arm under his head and listened to Cat giggle. It was 5:47ish, it's always amazing how fast the day can go when you do nothing all day. He felt good. Still a little queasy and his head was still pounding but he felt better then he did yesterday, which was saying a lot.

"are u there"

"ya sorry"

"its ok, I might have to get you some a.d.d. pills"

"no I just I don't know but what did you say"

"I said I have to get going. I have to work"

"oh sorry"

"me too I'd rather talk to you all night."

"ya I have to work too, not for a few more hours but you get what I mean"

"ya I do. I'll give you a call tomorrow"

"ok, by"

"by"

-click-

Patrick laid in the bed a few more minuets. He was tired but to tired to sleep. If that was possible. He walked into the main room and sat down on the couch. Pete drinking coffee, and eating a taco. Patrick raised his eye brows at him.

"don't worry I got you some its on the table"

"good"

"were you asleep"

"ya…I talked to Cat a little too"

"that's cool"

"a huh"

"what are you doing"

"Tomatoes…I hate tomatoes, you of all people should know that"

"hey I said no tomatoes on yours is it really my fault if they fuck up your order"

"yes"

"well don't throw them away, give them to me I'll put them on my other one."

"then your gonna have a shit load"

Patrick set one taco down and began taking the tomatoes off of the second one.

"So gorse, why couldn't you just look to make sure they didn't put them on"

"I'm sorry your royal highness"

"I just don't like tomatoes"

"come on, just try them,"

"no"

"there good for you"

"then it's good your going to be eating them"

Patrick bit into his taco after digging out every tomato and tomato seed. He pulled his legs underneath him and leaned back into the couch.

"do you like spaghetti?"

"what"

"do you,"

"ya sure"

"and ketchup"

"what ever ya"

"that all comes from tomatoes"

Patrick stood up and moved to the other side of the couch.

"oh come on"

"I'm not coming on to anything"

"so your all pissy with me because I told you to eat tomatoes"

"no because you were being annoying"

"oh ya, if you would try them you'd like them"

"can you sound any more like my dad"

"he's a wise man…who hates my guts"

"he doesn't hate you… any more"

"ya that was when he thought I would corrupt your pure innocent mind"

"and you did"

"I did it with class though"

"yes Pete you have all the class of a French whore."

"that's a lot of class"

"its really impressive"

"it is actually"

Patrick shook his head and laughed. Pete was a pain in the ass. It was so strange how one minuet he can be doing something ridiculously wild and dangerous, like shooting people with T shirt launchers (well mainly shooting it at Dirty and he was hardly a person). But then the next minuet Pete would be acting protective over Patrick. It was some thing that always annoyed him, but put up with and as the years progressed Pete did back off a little but not by much.

"how are you feeling"

"fine mom"

"your such an ass whole all the time"

"no I'm not"

"yes you are"

"well if I'm an ass whole that makes you a bitch"

"when am I a bitch"

"all the time, me and Andy make fun of you for it"

"no you don't"

"you can believe what ever you want"

"I do"

Before Patrick had time to register what happened he was on the ground being pinned down by Pete.

"shit !! Get-off, PETE"

"what is it you do again? Make fun of me"

Pete jumped up and tossed a couple of punches in the air, hopping around like a boxer.

"keep that in mind Patty I can kick your ass"

"that's not my name"

Pete stuck out his tongue and Patrick bent down to pick up his glasses. 'good thing I brought my contacts, I don't know how much more these can take'. By now it was 6:30ish.

"ready to go"

"ya sure"

The ride to the studio took longer then they had planned. The traffic was hell. Patrick flicked radio stations while Pete cursed under his breath. The constant back and forth, stopping and going was starting to make Patrick feel ill. He rolled down the window and closed his eyes and focused on the insane ass kicking he would receive if Patrick barfed in Pete's car. Which helped him keep his food down.

"you ok"

"yes"

"are you sure"

Pete started then slammed on his brakes then did this again and again and again. Which was really point less because they were out the traffic.

"can you stop that"

"why are you feeling sick" Pete laughed

"ya but I'll feel fine in a minuet, except you will have taco all over your car"

"fair enough"

"no go on keep doing it, its probably better I through up all that food"

"don't say that"

"why not, you know its true" Patrick pulled his shirt away from his stomach and crossed his arms in front of him self.

Pete was quiet it was useless to argue with some one like that. No matter how many times you said 'you look fine' or 'its no big deal' or his personal favorite 'that isn't true don't talk like that.' Patrick never believed it, and it wasn't just now, even when they were starting out Patrick had that strange twisted way of thinking. Some time the things Patrick would say really scared Pete. There were days when Pete would ask Patrick if he had an eating disorder, which Patrick would normally laugh and say 'I wish'. Sure Patrick wasn't as impulsive as Pete, and even when he was upset he could still do things logically. But Patrick was as stubborn as they came and once he truly decided something it was hard to get him to change his mind about it. Pete stole a look at Patrick as he pulled his hat down lower to cover his eyes. 'At least I know what the problem is' he thought,' now all I have to do is figure out how to fix it'. Which was of course easier said then done.

Patrick wasn't the self medicating type. Well ok he was to an extent but in all reality every body is, its human nature to try and fix your self. Patrick he, he liked to be alone in his pain, sorrow and anger. Granted its not a bad thing to want to be left alone when you are upset. However when Patrick did this, the problem was rarely fixed because some times you never knew what Patrick was up set about. Eventually Pete could force it out of him but Pete got sick of it. He shouldn't have to beg Patrick to tell him something. Well it couldn't be all his fault it was how he was raised. Patrick never had a mother to force him to open up or just take him some where to make him feel better the way Pete's mom always had. Patrick's father had done the best he could but guys weren't always the best outlets for emotional maturity. So yes some times in all honesty Patrick did act like a 8 year old, but it wasn't his fault. He just got use to not talking about things that were bothering him because he didn't want to be a burden on his father any more then he was. Pete smiled. He knew more about Patrick then any one would ever know. And is what made him feel good. His therapist once asked him how he validated him self. If he did it through what he thought or what other people thought, but it wasn't really any one of those. Yes he did care a lot about what people thought (so did Patrick no matter how many times he says he doesn't) there wasn't a term for it so Pete just told his doctor that he didn't know. But I truth he did. He validated him self based on other people. Maybe that didn't make him self sufficient or what ever but what was wrong with feeling good because of the people around him. Nothing. Nothing at all. So what if he took it personally if Patrick didn't wanna tell him something or lied to him. He cared too much as clichéd as it is. He did. He cared about his fans and his family and what people he had never met thought of him. He was working on that but when did caring become a bad thing. Wasn't caring too little worse then caring to much?


	16. I Love The Sound Of You Walking Away

-1The recording went better then either of them could have ever expected. They actually got a lot done. Patrick managed to work out the kinks that were in a few of the songs. It was really just a matter of timing the chores, or even speeding up or slowing down the music. It was nothing difficult that required them all to sit down and brain storm. Pete had made it a bigger deal then it was, but then again Pete always blows things out of proportion. Patrick leaned back in the chair, hat pulled over his eyes, head phones over his ears. He was truly a music nerd. While other kids were working at fast food joints or clothing stores Patrick was working at record stores and in a few cases book stores. It wasn't a cool job, but Patrick liked it and he had really no desirer to be "popular". He was a geek and it didn't bother him. That was one of the things he didn't feel bad about him self for.

Patrick stretched his legs out, yawned. His left leg had fallen asleep on him and was now driving him crazy every time he moved it.

"you think we got enough for to night?"

"ya were good, we can pick it up here tomorrow and I can mess with the tracks later"

"ok good"

Pete pulled of his head phones and hit the intercom button.

"ok guys that was great, we're done for the night"

Brendon, Spencer, Ryan and Jon came bounding out of the room.

"that was great guys"

Patrick said standing up he knew they were going to want to go out and party and he really wanted to be gone before they asked him to go.

"thank you" Brendon said grinning.

"if Ryan didn't suck as much you guys would be better"

Pete said pulling Ryan into a head lock.

"you guys wanna do some thing" Jon asked

"what you have in mind" Pete answered suddenly forgetting about Ryan.

"we were gonna hit a few night clubs, you know"

" if you guys feel up to it"

"of course we do Gorgey"

"I'll kill you Pete" Ryan snapped

"well Ryan could you wait to kill Pete because I wanna go out"

"don't worry Jon, Ryan could never kill me"

The five of them went back and forth for a few minuets. Patrick stood there with his hands in his pockets, he really didn't wanna go out. Granted it was only 11 but he felt tried and he was more then ready to go back to the hotel, take a shower and maybe order some room service and watch a movie. 'Scratch that he though I just wanna get in bed.'

"so you guys are in right?"

"sure" Pete said, looking at Patrick.

"no" Patrick said quietly looking at the ground

"I guess we'll have to do it another time guys" Pete said

"aw Patrick!"

"come on"

"Please?!"

"it will be fun"

Patrick hated this. He felt bad, he didn't want Pete not to go because of him.

"no Pete you can go"

"I don't know Patrick"

"look I don't need a baby sitter"

"I never said you did,"

"stop acting like I do then"

Maybe it was wrong to snap at Pete but Patrick was tired and in absolutely no mood to play games.

"are you sure? I'd feel bad going with out you"

"I wouldn't have any fun if I did" Patrick said harshly

He could see the look of shock on there faces. And in all honestly he probably would have fun on any other night. They were his friends and he loved them but on days like this he could really do with out them.

"I didn't mean-"

"forget it, but are you sure"

"ya I'm just gonna go to bed any way"

"how you gonna get back"

"it's up to you if you want your car I'll get a walk or get a cab, if you ride with them I'll take it."

Pete glanced over at Brendon.

"ya you can ride with us"

"ok thanks B, I left some thing in my car, I'll walk down with Patrick and get it and I'll meet you guys out front"

"ok night guys, sorry"

"its ok Patrick"

"sleepy tight"

"good night"

"adios"

Patrick leaned against the car and Pete stood in front of him. He really didn't need any thing from his car he just wanted to talk to Patrick alone.

"are you ok"

"ya I'm fine"

"god stop saying that"

"I'm sorry? You asked"

"ya I did"

"ok"

"I'm still worried about you that's all"

"I know but I'm just tired, I'm really just going to bed"

"you know you can call me at any time"

"ya I do, I'm gonna be ok Pete"

"I know but you scare the piss out of me sometimes"

"I'm sorry."

Pete opened up his arms and Patrick welcomed his hug. It made him feel so much better. Pete gave good hugs, not in the sense that they felt good, (they did) but that they made you feel safe, it was like after your father looked under your bed from monsters and checked the closet. It was that kind of reassurance Patrick felt in that hug.

"how late you gonna be"

"I don't know. I don't wanna be out to late and I honestly am going against my better judgment and leaving you alone"

"I'll be fine. I'm going to be asleep"

"ok, I'll only be a few hours"

"see ya then" Patrick sung his legs in to the car and started it up. He paused and rolled down the window.

"did you leave a list of emergency numbers?"

"don't be a prick." Pete said laughing. Maybe he did get over protective over Patrick but did it really matter.

"see ya"

"buy"

Patrick was relieved to get back to the hotel it felt like it took hours instead of the normal 20 minuets. As soon as he got in the room he pulled off his jeans and flopped down on the couch. After many, many commercials for food Patrick decided that he could in fact stand to eat. He decided on a pizza, after all Pete would probably be hungry when he got back too. Patrick sat down on the couch and went to work with the panic! album while he waited on the pizza.

A knock at the door startled Patrick. As Patrick walked to the door he realized he wasn't where his pants. 'that was a close call' he thought pulling his jeans back on.

"coming"

The delivery man looked to be about 17 years old. He had jet black hair, he was a bit over weight and had a face full of acne. He also looked annoyed that he had to come up 19 floors.

"here's your pizza, that will be 11.39"

He shoved the pizza into Patrick's hands while at the same time leaning in to get a good look into the room. Patrick reached into his pocket and handed the kid a twenty.

"I don't have change"

"keep it"

"thanks, that's a big room"

"ya" Patrick wanted the kid gone he was starving and just wanted to tear into the pizza.

"have I seen you before?"

"I don't think so"

"hey I do know you, your Patrick Stump you're the singer in Fall Out Boy"

"ya"

Suddenly Patrick felt very embarrassed this kid probably though he got the whole pizza for him self. Patrick wanted nothing more then his phone to ring or something just any thing to let the kid know that he wasn't going to eat a whole pizza by his self. 'I shouldn't even be eating pizza' he thought, 'I can hardly zip these jeans up as it is'

"can I have an autograph?" the kids voice pulled Patrick from his negative thoughts.

"sure"

"you have a pen?"

"yes" the kid handed him a pen. "I'm Jeff by the way"

"ok" Patrick ripped off a piece of hotel stationary and scrawled in large letters. :

**Jeff, Thanks so much for the pizza. Hope to see you at the next show. **

**Patrick tump J **

Jeff had a smile on his face from ear to ear.

"what are you doing here"

"working on the new Panic! Record"

He handed the kid the autograph

"wow, thank you so, so much"

"your welcome"

"this is like the greatest thing that's ever happened to me"

Patrick couldn't help but laugh, it was always weird to hear people say that.

"is it true you've never had voice lessons"

"ya, I was forced to be the lead singer"

"that's so cool"

Patrick chatted with Jeff for a few minuets. The kid was nice, and it was always nice to meet fans, but what Patrick was really thinking about was that pizza he was still holding.

"wow I got to get going, I'm gonna be in trouble if every ones pizza is late."

"you can blame me"

"thanks, at least you got yours though"

"ya that's all that matters" Patrick said laughing

"thank you again"

"no problem, I hope to see you at a show…drive safe"

"thanks"

Patrick shut the door and sighed. The kid was nice but he was ready to dig into his pizza. Patrick sat down on the couch and placed the pizza box on his legs and dug in. The pizza was perfect, the cheese was hot and bubbly there was the right amount of sauce on it. It was no Chicago pizza but it was delicious non the less. Patrick wolfed down 6 large pieces, there were 4 left which would be more then enough for Pete. Patrick closed the box and set it on the counter, and headed to his bed room. He pulled off his t shirt which was now covered in grease and sauce. He groaned as he bent down, he stomach was filled to the point of bursting. He knew in a week of to he would regret eating all of this food. He caught sight of his stomach in the mirror. It was swollen and round it looked like he had swallowed a small basket ball. Patrick lay down on his back and sighed. He was hoping not to gain any weight when he was here but it looked like he was going to. It was difficult to get comfortable with his stomach so full. Finally he managed to get into a comfortable position on his side. And with in minuets he was out like a light.


	17. Pretty As A Car Crash

-1Patrick woke up around one. Which was strange because Pete never let him sleep that late. Unless Pete didn't come home. Patrick glanced around the room no sign of Pete.

'better check my phone' he thought. Sure enough there it was. A voice mail telling Patrick that Pete was crashing at Ryan's. Patrick shrugged he would call Pete later first coffee. Patrick started a pot of hotel coffee, no star bucks today. Patrick leaned against the counter and breathed in the sweet aroma of Columbian coffee beans (even though he knew they weren't from Columbia) He glanced up and noticed the pizza box, 'no I don't need any more of that' Patrick tried to push the thought out of his mind.

"fuck it, I'm already fat what's another 10lbs"

Patrick grabbed the pizza off of the counter and dug in. The pizza was still good if not better. (odd how things taste better the next day) He polished off the last of the pizza. Running a hand over his full round stomach he sighed. 'I better get Pete' he thought. But the warmness of the coffee and the heavy feeling in his stomach told him other wise. Patrick walked to the door of the room and tossed the pizza box (and other garbage) out into the hall way and put the "DO NOT DISTURB" sign on the door. He laid back down on the couch, his left hand found it way into his boxers. He was erect, he was horny and he was alone. He had the erg, the hot despite need all men get. Patrick was left with two choices, ignore the feeling (it would pass) and be in a terrible mood all day long because he didn't 'relieve' him self, or he could go take care of his while he was alone. Patrick decided the later, he stood up and made his way to the bath room. He squeezed some hotel hand lotion on his palm and turned to lock the door.

Pete entered the room just as Patrick was walking out of the bath room. Patrick had a grin on his face, he was glad he decided to have some "special time" with himself. It defiantly made the difference in his mood. He woke up annoyed and irritable and hating him self for gorging on pizza, now he felt calmer and he didn't care about any thing. Its an amazing thing how sex naturally relived anxiety. That's what doctors should prescribe. Oh you haven't been sleeping, well you need a heaping dose of free love. Patrick grinned as he thought of this. Maybe that would get him to the doctors.

"what"

"what"

"you have a big smile on your face,"

"oh, just some thing I thought of"

"oh…do you wanna got out"

"sorry Pete your not my type"

"no dumb fuck I mean really get out of the hotel for a couple of hours, I haven't left this room in decades"

"I guess your right"

"you guess?"

"ok so you are, but what do you wanna do"

"beach?"

"hate the beach"

"you hate every thing"

"no I don't"

"ok then we're going to the beach, I'll see when the next plane leaves"

"plane what,"

" ya were going to California"

"I have nothing to where to the beach"

"we can stop at your place"

"nothings gonna fit me there"

"why wouldn't it"

"I've gained like 30 pounds, what I have with me now hardly fits me"

Pete looked him up and down it was cleave Patrick had gained weight but it wasn't that much.

"there's no way you put on 30 pounds in a year, so that makes you a liar"

"what ever Pete" Patrick rolled his eyes

"What do you want me to say to that Patrick? You haven't you look fine stop bitching, if you wanna stay here and mope then go ahead. I just wanted to try and have fun with you but apparently you don't do fun any more. I'm sick of this fucking shit."

"what the Fu-"

"no Patrick I'm really tired of doing back flips to try and make you happy, I cant handle these constant mood swings of yours, ever since that bitch Jackie you've been different"

"no I haven't"

"what ever I would just like my best friend back at some point."

Patrick just stood there with his jaw hanging open.

"come find me when your back to normal"

Patrick was now infuriated. He was going to give Pete a piece of his mind. He was going to tell Pete he was wrong about…he was wrong about…about…he was wrong. Was he wrong? No, no he wasn't wrong Pete was right. Patrick had been different. He had been acting like a psycho. Patrick sighed Pete was right. 'I hate when he's right' Patrick thought. He stood up pulled on a pair of jeans (with a bit of trouble) and headed out the door.

Pete was sitting in the hotel lounge feeling particularly guilty. Patrick DID hate the beach. He DID feel like he gained 30 pounds (even though he didn't). He WAS acting different because of Jackie. But it was her fault. She caused him to crawl even further into him self, she caused him to gain weight, she caused his mood swings, she broke him. She smashed him to pieces. It was wrong of Pete to get upset at Patrick for this. It wasn't even Patrick he was mad at. He was mad at himself. He hated him self for not being able to see what Jackie was before it was too late. He hated Jackie for what she did to him. Patrick was trying he truly was. He wouldn't have come all the way to Vegas if he wasn't ready to get over her. Pete looked up and saw Patrick walking over to him. 'lets get ready for round two' he thought with a frown.

"Pete I'm sorry"

"don't be I'm not even mad at you, I know your trying"

Patrick smiled and playfully punched him in the arm.

"you know the next plane leaves in 25 minuets"

"you don't have to go"

"I don't have to do any thing, besides who knows I might even have some fun"

"you will" Pete had a big childish grin on his face, making him look 20 years younger then he was.

Communication, cooperation and compromise. Those three things are needed to make every and all relation ships work. Patrick pondered this on the 45 minuet flight from Vegas to Californian. They were such different people. Pete was outgoing and crazy and would say what ever he felt like. Patrick was shy, quiet he thought before he did some thing and normally kept what he really wanted to say in him head. But at the same time they were the same. They were both unsure of them selves and needed some on to lean back on for support. They had always gotten alone perfectly, of course there were the little fights they got in to from time to time. They were always forgotten about or resolved. Of course there were the roomers that they were gay. They of course came to them as no surprise. With Pete grinding against him kissing his neck the side of his mouth, and of course the few times they had kissed on the lips. It never meant any thing. It was the way you would kiss your sister. They did love each other but they weren't in love. Pete was with Ashley and he was nothing but faithful to her, whether they were dating or not.

Patrick had always been jealous of that. He wanted nothing more then to have some on who loved him at his worst and at his best. The truth was he was a nice guy. He was sweet, a gentlemen, romantic. And because of this he always seamed to attract the wrong people. People were always trying to take advantage of him and Pete was always trying to make sure that didn't happen. Of course some people slipped through the cracks, but Pete always had his back. And if it took a trip to the beach to make Pete happy then Patrick could suck it up (and in) to make Pete's day.

The plan landed and they stepped off and into the warm California sun. They rented a car and drove up to Patrick's beach house. It was a cozy little bungalow with a beautiful view of the ocean.

"I haven't been here in for ever"

"it's been what two years"

" maybe less but it sounds about right"

Pete nodded. He had never taken Jackie here. There was this strange feeling the beach house had. Maybe it was the staleness in the air, maybe it was the dust on the table maybe it was the dry heat or the sound of Patrick starting the AC but Pete knew what it was. It was the lack of painful memories the lack of hate and humiliation. It was calm

Pete pulled on a pair of swim trunks and sat out on the porch and waited for Patrick. Who was rummaging through his clothes trying to find something to where that would fit over his new belly. He finally found a pair of dark green board shorts with white trim. They were snug very snug he had to hold his stomach in the buttoned them, his love handles stuck out over the sides but Patrick wasn't planning on going in the water or taking his shirt off. Besides this late in the season no one would really be there other then a few surfers. He adjusted his hat and stepped back and took a long look at his self in the mirror. His stomach stuck out being squeezed by his to tight shorts. They were snug around his but and thighs. They didn't look ridiculous on him, more like he was still in denial about his weight. He toyed with the idea of just taking them off and telling Pete nothing fit him. That seamed like it would be less embarrassing but in the end he walked out on to the porch and joined Pete.

Pete smiled when Patrick joined him.

"I was wondering what took you so long, I told you would have some thing here"

"just barley, I'm not sure about these, if I breath they may rip"

"they look ok" Pete said giggling

"I don't know, I'm gonna have to loose so weight."

"I think you look fine they show off that sweet ass of yours."

"your so weird Pete"

"I would never lie to you, you can do what ever you want it's your body"

"I will"

"so I blew off Ryan and them again"

"I'm starting to think the reason nothing is getting done is your fault not theirs"

"I cant help it that you and your sexy self distract me."

"once again you're a weird one Pete"

They walked down to the beach and played in the sand talked and joked around like they use too. Pete pulled off his shirt and headed into the water. And once again Patrick compared him self to impossible standards. Pete was at least 2 inch's taller, he had tan skin and a perfect body. He was trim with muscled arms and perfect abs. He also had a face that could have been chiseled by the hands of god himself. The totally opposite of Patrick. Who had pale Irish skin, a round face with a double chin, not to mention his stomach which stuck out over the waist band of his board shorts. He did how ever have a nice lower body, thick strong thighs and a round firm butt not to mention the heat he was packing in between his legs. What Patrick had failed to notice time and time again when comparing himself to Pete was the difference in there bone structures, Pete had a slender build while Patrick was big and solid. Patrick was handsome. He had beautiful gray blue eyes. Plump red succulent lips. Beautiful pale porcelain skin, strong facial features. He had a adorable body soft in all the right places. He was handsome. He just couldn't see it.


	18. Ive Fallen In Love With Your Ways

-1"there wasn't that fun"

Pete said drying off and putting his hoodie back on.

"ya, I can breath now" Patrick sighed

"you wanna grab dinner"

"I'd rather bring it back here"

"food is food doesn't matter where you eat it"

The two called a Chinese restaurant and picked it up. Pete order a ton of stuff. Patrick was stunned when they were handed 3 bags filled with take out.

"god I'm hungry" Pete said as the walked out. Patrick hadn't felt hungry until now.

"ya me to, I don't know if u got enough food though"

"naw I think we're ok"

When they arrived back at Patrick's beach house Pete laid out the feast. It wasn't as much as Patrick had thought, it was still a ton of food, around 8 boxes. Pete opened a bottle of coke and poured him and Patrick a glass.

"trick where you go"

"be hind you Pete"

"oh, ready to eat?"

"ya"

"can we eat in the room with a TV"

"I don't care, that would be the bed room though"

"any thing to get in bed with you"

Pete couldn't help but look at Patrick's stomach as they were sitting on the bed. Patrick was wearing a snug black t shirt, it was pulled tight around his bulging midsection. Pete found him self wondering how much weight Patrick had put on. He also couldn't help but watch Patrick eat. His eyes glued to the TV, taking two or three big bits before a long gulp of his soda. He's enjoying the food Pete thought. Pete went back to his meal, and occasionally stole looks at Patrick's soft stomach. He use to pinch and poke him, but now Patrick didn't like any ones hands on him. Pete was half tempted to poke his belly, but he knew better, old Patrick would have laughed but new Patrick could end up in a tail spin of depression. Patrick truly did look good he wasn't grossly over weight but defiantly much thicker then he use to be.

He wasn't at his heaviest no, Patrick had managed to shave off a little weight (mainly through not eating). But he looked good soft. He looked more more well Pete wasn't sure what he looked more like but he looked good. And his little pot belly was cute after all. Pete's heart broke every time he read a comment on there message board about his weight. It was so strange, every one bitched about how thin models were but if some one else put on weight they were too fat. You couldn't win. Patrick always acted like he didn't hear the comments or know what some people were saying but he did. And they had no right. Honestly how could you make fun of his looks with the insane talent he had. Patrick had more talent then in his dirty jeans then any one else Pete had met. He had the kind of voice people could only hope to get and took classes to get. It was hard to down play looks it was expected to be part of what they do. But it wasn't them it was the music.

"can you stop that"

"stop what"

"staring at me when I'm stuffing my face"

"I wasn't"

"ya you where, I-"

"you want some more soda"

"yes"

Finishing the meal (or a good part of it) Patrick sighed laying back on the bed, Pete followed his lead. Patrick's stomach was even rounder now and stuck out more. Patrick looked at his stomach, it was a bulge under his already to tight shirt. It didn't flatten out with him laying back, it stuck out and had even started to hang over his jeans a little.

"Jesus Christ I'm fat"

"no you not"

Patrick sat back up, causing his plump middle to look even plumper.

"ya then what's this"

"your tummy"

"guts more like it" he said laying back down.

"your not fat"

"ya I am, I got even more disgusting then I was before"

"no you didn't"

"oh yes I did, you cant honestly say that"

"you put on a little weight, but you look fine stop fussing over it"

" a little"

"ya, your chubby at best"

"I'm going on a diet"

"don't, you look good, I wouldn't lie to you"

"you wouldn't tell me I look like shit either"

"of course not"

"I'm going on a diet"

"I like your belly" Pete said laying his head on Patrick's stomach.

"I hate it, get off me"

Patrick laughed at Pete's pouty face.

"you know that doesn't work on me"

"damn"

"yes I am immune to the puppy dog face"

"curse you"

Pete laid his head back on Patrick's stomach and Patrick allowed him.

"I'm tired"

"me too"

"can I sleep in here?"

"ya"

"see you do love me"

"no I just don't feel like putting sheets on another bed because god knows you cant"

"ya I can"

"you don't even do your own laundry"

"so"

Patrick tossed to plates and cups on the floor and turned off the lights and TV. It was late and they were both tired from fighting spending the day at the beach and eating to the point of getting sick. Pete hoped in the bed like a kid and slid close to Patrick.

"you never cuddle any more" Pete yelled in a fit of mock rage.

"your so deranged"

"sorry, I've been watching to much day time TV"

They both erupted into a fit of mad laughter. Laughter was contagious. They weren't laughing at any thing in particular. Patrick was now sitting up face beat red and gasping for air. Pete was now on the floor holding his stomach and pleading for Patrick to stop. Patrick felt sick and light headed, tears were streaked down his face, which was bright red. Pete didn't look to much different. They were both laying down on the bed breathing heavy and letting the occasional giggle slip out.

"what was so funny"

"I have no clue trick, you just made me laugh"

They both begin to giggle and for a second Pete feared his stomach would burst.

"I'm so tired"

"you where me out Pete"

"in more ways then one"

The room fell silent.

"I love you Pete" Patrick said rolling over on his side.

Pete smiled to him self.

"back at ya, thanks for coming out here with me"

"I didn't have a choice"

"yes you did,"

"good night"

With in minuets Pete was sound asleep snoring lightly. Patrick lay awake staring up at the ceiling and let his mind wonder. A thousand random thoughts crossed his mind. 'I wonder if some one can die from laughing. Maybe, every thing kills you nowa days. Nowa days is a funny term. I think its an old person term. Why would I use it? I must have herd some on say it. What is spam? Does any one know? Or is it like hotdogs you just act like you know what's in them. Hot dogs are gross. I should call cat. I wonder why she likes cat better then Catherine… Catherine is a pretty name. She's hot what's a hot girl like her see in me? God Pete's snoring is annoying. I bet I could push him off the bed. Then he would stop. What is with my brain STOP…I need to sleep. How much sleep do people really need- there I go I do spend to much time in my head. I need to stop thinking so much.' More random things passed through his mind. He eventually fell asleep, blocking out all of his random thinking's and curling up in the blankets.

Pete woke up in the night cold he sat up and glanced around. Patrick was on his side with all the blankets pulled over him. "son of a bitch" He stood up out of the bed his feet touching the ice cold floor. "how high did he turn the air" Pete stumbled over to the bath room. "stupid bladder, I was having a good sleep then you wake me up" He sighed there was no use trying to reason with a body part. It was actually a bit crazy. Well more then a bit. Pete made a stop at the thermostat before hoping back into bed. Patrick groaned and for a minuet Pete was sure he had woken him up. Instead Patrick pulled his knees up to his chest and settled back into sleep. Pete pulled the blankets back over himself and slid a bit closer to Patrick. Laying on his back he gazed up at the ceiling.

'He's getting back to normal.' he thought. Hearing Patrick laugh like that made Pete feel like things would get better. Sure he had dragged Patrick across the country against his will. Well ok not against but he wasn't keen on the idea. Then he forced him to come to California because Pete wanted to go to the beach. But he did it. He put on a pair of to small board shorts to make Pete happy. Pete smiled this is what friends do. Force each other to do things that they are in no way shape or form comfortable with. Pete was ok with that. He could handle the look Patrick gave him when he was forced into doing something he really didn't want to do because after all of his bitching Patrick would give him that big smile that said 'you were so right'.

Pete thought about the dream he had been having. He had been having it for over a year now. He had asked his psychologist if it meant any thing and if he believed in premonitions. Of course his Dr. laughed at the second part and told him that his sub conscious was simply worrying about his friend and he was blaming him self. He then asked what Pete thought it meant. This was what Pete hated about his doctor, Pete paid him a couple thousand dollars and yet all he could ever say was, 'well Pete what do you think about this' or 'How do you think your should handle the situation' and the personal favorite 'How does this make you feel'. Pete glanced at Patrick and sighed. He's really going to be ok, Pete thought. Pete curled up next to Patrick, listing to him breath in and out slowly Pete fell in to a deep and dreamless sleep for the first time in months.


	19. I Walk The Line Of The Disappointed

-1The next morning they cleaned up the place, locked up and headed back to Vegas and dove in to work on the Panic! CD they had begun to realize that this would take all year if they didn't buckle down. After another week and a half of late nights and early mornings they had the songs recorded. The hard part was done, all they (Patrick) had to do was cut the tracks and put them back together. They said there good buys and headed home. Patrick hadn't talked to Cat as much as he hoped he could have. They played phone tag back and fourth for a few days. It was hard to talk to her for more then a few minuets before being rushed off the phone. Patrick was glad to be heading back home. He had fun but now he was happy to be able to sleep in his own bed…possibly with Cat next to him in stead of Pete.

It was 3 am the flight was an hour and a half to two hours so they should land in Chicago around 8 or 9. Ya time zones are a bitch. They never bothered Patrick much though. If he was felling drained a few energy drinks and some coffee brought him right back into the land of the living. It made Pete laugh, he always thought it was funny that Patrick couldn't handle anything in the morning until he had coffee, but when he went some where with a 10 hour time difference he was fine.

On the plane Patrick opened his laptop and set to work. He was sitting with his legs under him. Some thing he couldn't do before in coach. He never cared how they flew, he wasn't even bothered being in a little puddle jumper. But now he was glad for first class, he welcomed the silence and the rich business men staring at them wondering how they could afford these seats. Patrick put his head phones on and the world faded. All that there was now was music that needed dissecting.

"Hey" Pete said shacking Patrick's leg.

"What" Patrick was a tad annoyed with being interrupted. "I ordered some food if that ok with you"

"I really don't need it but sure"

"your so ridiculous" Pete muttered as a stewardess sat a large breakfast sandwich in front of the both of them.

"I'm not being ridiculous, I deserve a medal for getting these jeans on"

"you need bigger jeans then"

Patrick glared at Pete, sliding his food over to him. He pulled his head phones back over his ears and attempted to go back to work.

"oh come on trick I was kidding"

Patrick made no response he continued to act like he couldn't here Pete. Pete put the food back on Patrick's tray next to his laptop.

"if you spill shit on this I'll kick your ass"

"so it speaks"

"shut up Pete" Patrick snapped taking a gulp of luck warm coffee.

"you know I was kidding"

"no you weren't"

"trick"

"I'm too fat to fit into any of my clothes it's pretty obvious"

"your not fat"

They spoke quietly, mainly because they didn't want to be over herd but also because the other few people were sleeping. And from the view of any one else it would just look like two brothers (or lovers) arguing.

"oh yes I am I must have put on 20 pounds"

"no you didn't"

"and to make things even better Cat gets to see me again even fatter then when I left"

"if she has a problem the fuck her, you look fine. I don't think you look any different"

-silence-

"Patrick I'm not bull shitting you, your not fat"

"Pete I just wanna work on these tracks right now, I'm not hungry so if u don't eat it I'll throw it out"

Pete sighed and turned his gaze off of Patrick and back to the window. He mentally kicked him self for telling Patrick he needed bigger clothes. But he didn't mean it the way it sounded. Patrick was so fucked up. He had always had low self esteem but now well Pete was pretty sure he couldn't come up with 1 good thing about him self. Pete left the food sitting next to Patrick for twenty more minuets until he finally gave in. Patrick was so stubborn some times. Pete took a big bite watching Patrick out of the corner of his eyes. The sandwich was cold, and greasy but other wise good. Pete caught Patrick smiling. 'you son of a bitch' he thought. 'your not mad at me your just playing games' Patrick was starching his left leg out, 'must have fallen asleep' Pete thought.

"asleep" Pete mumbled with a mouth full of food.

"do I look asleep" Patrick said a more then a touch of sarcasm in his voice.

"I meant you leg stupid"

"oh…then ya"

Pete laughed, and Patrick smiled.

"your dumb"

"I'm tired"

"go to sleep I'll wake you up before we land"

"I cant"

Just then the plane jumped in the sky as if to emphasize Patrick's point. Pete nodded. He was use to not sleeping though and even more accustom to nightmares.

"I just wanna get home, take a hot shower and watch some TV"

"sounds like a plan"

"when is Ashley getting back"

"she's not"

"what?! why"

"she is gonna be in New York. Instead of Chicago"

"why"

"I'm not sure its really confusing, some thing dumb I don't know"

"so are you gonna get to see her at all?"

"hell ya, I'm gonna fly out to New York City in a few days, she has a hole week there so I'll get to see her for a while."

"that's good, its been what a month"

"and 3 weeks ya, you can come if you want"

"no, you two need 'special' time" Patrick said using air quotes to make his point.

Pete laughed "ya I do, are your gonna hook up with that girl… what's her name again"

"Cat, and I don't know, she wants to get dinner some where but I'm not sure"

"why"

"I don't know, I'm trying to figure her out"

"you cant no one can figure girls out, you think I fully get Ashley? Nope I just at like I do"

"no not like that,"

"you mean her angle"

"ya I don't know what she's doing with me"

"she know who you are"

"now she does"

Pete nodded

"that has to be why, I mean why else would she want me"

"maybe because you're a nice guy"

Patrick shrugged. It was easier to do then arguing with Pete who could never see any thing bad or wrong with him. Arguing would only make Patrick frustrated and Pete would laugh.

"I wanna meet her"

"ok"

"I'm not joking, before things get serious I want to meet her"

"I said ok"

"if I don't like her then she's gone"

"what"

"you herd me"

"ya I did…you have no power over that"

Pete didn't answer he just looked out the window. Patrick knew better then to push the issue. He was terribly naive and Pete could smell bull shit a mile away. Pete was older then Patrick and wasn't about to let some one step on him or his best friend. It was as Pete said about girls, as long as you can node at the appropriate times your in.

The flight came in at 10, much later then any of them could have ever guessed. By now they were both tired irritated and hungry (well only Patrick on that last one). It felt like it took an hour alone to get there bags. It never fails at an air port, 20 baggage claims and only one is working. Also there was a littler girl (well not little) staring at the two of them.

"I hope she's just checking you out"

"Me? Oh no, I have no ass, you do"

"your prettier…even if I do have a fucking awesome ass"

Luckily the girl said nothing to either of them and they walked out of the terminal and into the parking garage.

"where you at?"

"waaaayyyy down there" Patrick said gesturing to the other side of the building.

"aww man, I'm only a few rows over you want a lift?"

"no I need the exercise" Patrick said patting his stomach. Pete shook his head.

"ok but you should start off slow…like walking to my car"

"Pete-" Patrick tried to finish but he started laughing.

"come on sexy, I don't want you to get raped in a parking garage"

"ok fine… wait do you not want me rapped period or just in a parking garage"

"hum that's a toughie"

"I'm sure" Patrick said rolling his eyes.

"so you'll call me later right" Pete asked as he pulled up in front of Patrick's car.

"of course"

"give me some love?" Pete opened up his arms and pulled Patrick into a big hug. Patrick let out a sigh, he missed this, him and Pete the dynamic duel.

"you know I love you right?" Pete questioned raising an eye brow.

"ya"

"No I mean I really love you Patrick, you're my best friend. Every thing I said to you I meant"

Patrick nodded he felt guilty for acting like such a prick.

"I'm sorry I've been so"

"its ok, you put up with my shit I can deal with yours."

Patrick smiled it was a comforting thing to know some one would have your back no matter what. He waved to Pete as he pulled out and hopped up into his car. He let out a sigh. He felt great. He suddenly knew he would take Cat up on dinner and insist on paying. He flipped on the radio. Prince was half way through Get Off. A smile pulled at the corners of his mouth.

"oh ya its going to be a good day"


	20. This Year Was Our Disaster

-1Patrick was thrilled to be home. The air in his apartment was hot and stale but other wise it was the greatest feeling on earth. He walked over to the answering machine, nothing of any real importance. A call from a friend, his dad telling him he wanted a call when he got in, nothing that needed to be dealt with now…especially on an empty stomach. Patrick groaned suddenly regretting skipping the greasy breakfast. Patrick started for the kitchen before remembering the tightness in his jeans. He paused for a minuet before deciding that he didn't really need to eat. He walked back into the living room and picked up his phone and called his dad. He talked to him for a half an hour. Nothing important just bull shit back and forth he finally got off the phone and did the one thing he had been dreading to do all day…call Cat.

Calling people is always stressful. On the one had you hope that they don't answer but at the same time you hope they do so you wont have to make that call again. This is where Patrick was. Hopping she wasn't home that he wouldn't have to force words out of his mouth. The phone picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?"

It wasn't Cat.

"Um hi" It Was a male voice on the other end. And suddenly Patrick felt inadequate all over again.

"… Can I help you?" The Voice asked.

"Is C-c-cat there"

'What the hell!!' Patrick's brain screamed. He meant to hang the phone up not talk to this man. This wasn't part of his plan he needed to regroup he couldn't do this…but why did he just ask for her if he couldn't.

"Ya no problem let me get her"

Patrick could hear quiet talking on the other end. That has to be her room mate he thought,

"hello"

"hey Cat its Patrick"

"PATRICK! Oh my god are you home? How was your flight,"

"ya I'm home and the flight was long but air ports are always hell"

"I'm sure, so what's up studly?"

"nothing, I'm so tired, I just thought I would you know"

"ask what I was doing to night around 8?"

"yes"

"well, ill have to move some things around but yes I'm free"

"good"

"so I'll meet you at your place at 8"

"yes"

"I'll let you get some rest, ok."

"ya I need it,"

"see you tonight"

"I cant wait"

"buy"

"buy"

-click-

Patrick sighed he begin to strip his clothes as he walked to his room. It was a little after 11. 'I just need a few hours of sleep' he thought. He once again thought about grabbing something to eat. But he once again changed his mind. He didn't wanna look like complete shit when he saw Cat. He slid into bed, the covers were cool and crisp. Patrick was glad to be home. Vegas had a way of wearing a person out. Patrick felt like he hadn't slept in years.

Patrick woke up about 7 hours later. It would have been an enjoyable sleep but he had just under 2 hours to get ready. He jumped into the shower. Any other day he wouldn't be awake yet but his mind was spinning this was there first date, well not counting the fast food and movie at his place, and the sex…the wonderful sex. Patrick smiled as his hand found its way to his man hood. It didn't take much to get him excited and with in 5 minuets he had worked him self up to an orgasm. He moaned in satisfaction.

Patrick stepped out and dried off. When Patrick had finished brushing his teeth he took a step back and took a long critical look at him self. His hair hung around his face in a shaggy fashion, his gray blue eyes looked back at him blankly, his full red lips were slightly parted. His face was fuller, his chest looked softer and his stomach…it seamed rounder. He sighed. Mirrors were a terrible thing. They always showed you something you never wanted to see. Patrick shook his head and walked toward the bed room. Now Patrick was faced with an impossible task. Was there any thing left that would fit? His jeans were tight to begin with granted he was able to fit into them as of two weeks ago. But now Patrick wasn't sure if anything would fit. After trying on about four pairs of jeans Patrick settled on a pair of gray jeans. They fit and were even a bit snug but they didn't squeeze him ridiculously around his middle. He tugged on a white and orange polo shirt and a black hoodie. After rummaging through his collection of hats Patrick settled on a brown vintage fatigue hat. There was a knock at the door. Patrick paused one moment to look in the mirror before he went to answer it.

"open up its me"

"I don't know any one named me"

"come on I have to pee"

"I don't know"

"oh Patrick…I swear to God if you don't open up I'm going to pee all over your door step."

Patrick laughed as he opened the door. But the smile was wiped off of his face when he got an eye full of Cat. Cat was in a pair of black skinny jeans which hugged her around the hips perfectly. She was in a pair of cowboy boots and a tight vintage AC/DC T. It was ripped in the front giving Patrick a perfect view of her ample cleavage. He could see the black ink from her rose tattoo on her stomach. Her hair was teased and her make up was done perfectly. Patrick finally managed to close his mouth and step aside. Cat ran into the bath room leaving Patrick to collect himself one the couch. He was suddenly feeling a bit uncomfortable with the way he looked. Cat looked fantastic while he looked well any thing but.

Cats eyes scanned him up and down. She couldn't fight the grin that crawled across her face, and she didn't try to. He looked adorable. Fidgeting on the arm of the couch, a few pounds heavier possibly? He had to be 'oh he look's so flawless' she thought. She felt he self grow wet and suddenly plans for dinner went out the window and now all she wanted was him. She bit her lip and slowly walked over to him. She didn't want to go out some where, she didn't want to have to share him with others. She wanted him and nothing more.

"I've been thinking?"

"ya"

"Italian food is so over done"

"oh is it?"

"oh yes"

Cat turned and faced him. He was only a few inches taller then she was. She stared straight into his eyes as she adjusted the collar of his shirt and smoothed it out with the palm of her hands.

"what else did you have in mind"

"dinner…at my place, josh wont be home tonight so we would have the place to our selves, besides I did promise you a meal. What you had planned is lovely, but you've been gone so long and I want you to my self to night"

Patrick picked up his keys and smiled at her.

"after you"


	21. All We Are's Not All We Will Be

-1Dessert came before dinner that night. With there lust satisfied they lay in the after glow breathing heavy and running there hands over each others bodies. Patrick let out a moan as Cat rolled on top of him. It was too much, this was some thing out of a movie. (granted it would be the dirty movie you watch late night on payper view, and in that movie he would probly be incredibly ripped and outrageously large in the package area.) Cat kissed his neck and fondled his love handles. It was too much. Cat let out a satisfied sigh. They had been at it for three hours. Patrick felt like he had just run a marathon. He was exhausted every inch of his body was begging for sleep, and food oh god was he starving he had never been this hungry in his life.

"Where are you going?" Patrick asked opening his eyes and sitting up some.

"The dinner I promised you, I'll be back with some thing to snack on" and with a wink she disappeared into the apartment. Leaving Patrick to curl up in the warm blankets and close his eyes and breath in the smell of Cats cooking.

"Patrick…" Cat's sweet voice pulled him out of a shallow slumber. He was asleep but he wasn't, he could hear every sound she made, smell her fantastic cooking but at the same time he was out.

"hum"

"its going to be a while for dinner…I brought you some thing to tide you over till then"

"I can wait"

"no you cant, your starving,"

Cat was standing over him with a plate. She was in his shirt, it was longer on her then it was on him but it left nothing to the imagination.

"what is it?"

"a plate of brashetta my dear"

"oh"

"in lamance terms bread smothered in oils and herbs with loads of cheese… at least the way I make it"

Cat smiled as she saw the look on Patrick's face. His eyes widened he ran his tongue around his plump lips and a childish smile graced his lips.

"Slow down" cat giggled as she watched Patrick swallow a piece of brashetta in 2 large bites. His face took on a shade of pink and Cat smiled. Boys were so silly.

"you need to enjoy it, not just wolf it down. Food is meant to be enjoyed" Cat paused slowly taking a bit. Patrick was aroused by her indulgence.

"enjoy it love, the crispness of the bread, the sharpness of the cheese, every thing needs to be sinfully enjoyed"

Patrick took another piece of brashetta, taking a bite and a moment to enjoy it.

"did you learn that in Italy too?"

"Queens"

"Like Queens New York?"

"yep"

Patrick paused a minuet pondering what she had just said. He took another bite out of the sinfully good meal she had just prepared.

"are you gonna go on or should I ask what you mean?"

"my uncle, on by dads side. Owns restaurant, nothing hugely fancy or any thing but its his passion, but he LOVES food. That's where I learned every thing I know, from him"

"really?"

"oh ya, my parents career was always first. And I don't blame them when you are holding a beating heart in your hands you cant worry about birthdays and the like,

Patrick nodded taking another piece of brashetta with out noticing it.

"so my uncle had a big hand in raising me and my brother, he would do any thing for me. He bought me the ticket for Italy. I'll never forget that. He just handed it to me, it was my 2nd semester in college, I asked what he was doing and he just said 'I'm not giving you a plane ticket to the most beautiful place in the world, I'm not telling you that the flight leaves at 7:30, and I'm not implying you stop trying to win affection and do what your passion is' so I went I left that night just dropped every thing"

"wow"

"ya, he's always told me to do what makes me happy and I am"

"how'd you end up here?" Patrick mumbled through a mouth full of food.

"oh ya, the ticket my uncle gave me was a one way, and on my return trip I landed in here. I figured I would stay a few weeks. But I don't know I fell in love with it here. I met josh and he's a character. But really I'm not sure, I just never got around to going home. Besides, why would I want to be any where but here…"

She laid her head down on his chest and sighed. Patrick ran his fingers through the tangled mess of her hair.

"this is so perfect"

"what is?"

"you tonight every thing"

"I'm very far from perfect"

"I beg to differ"

Cat rolled her eyes and pulled her body close to his.

Patrick laughed as Cat seductively ate the last piece of brashetta. She was so strange.

She placed a kiss in the center of his chest before going back to running her fingers up and down his stomach.

"are you ok?"

"ya sure"

"your just fidgeting a lot is all"

"I'm sorry"

"are you uncomfortable?"

"no"

"then what's wrong? Is it me touching your tummy?"

"uh"

"its ok"

Cat kissed his neck and curled up next to him, humming softly and stroking his stomach. She fell asleep wrapped tightly in his strong arms.

The rest of the night was more of the same. Lots of food, wine and sex. Patrick was running his finger tips up and down her back. She was beautiful sexy and smart. Every thing he had ever dreamed of getting in a girl, scratch that a woman. She had been talking all night, while Patrick stuffed his self. He had never been so full in all his life, but then again he had never been so comfortable in all his life.

Patrick sang softly as Cat rubbed his full engorged gut and every now and then letting her fingertips grace to end of his penis. Yes Patrick was full happy and incredibly satisfied.

Patrick woke up to the sound of something in a skillet and Cat singing something in what he guessed was Italian. Patrick sighed, he could get use to living like this. Of course it would be bad for his waist if he did, but what the fuck did it matter. All that mattered was right now Cat was cooking for him, was probably naked and would pleasure him when he had finished his next meal.

"La buona mattina il mio amore"

Patrick had no idea what she said but it sounded hot, sexy and he wanted her.

"how did you sleep?"

"like the dead"

"good I hope your hungry"

Patrick pulled back on his shirt and boxers and headed into the kitchen to join cat, who was clothed in a bra and panties. Cat slid a plate over to Patrick, it was piled high with food waffles eggs toast bacon. She made her self a plate and took the seat opposite of Patrick.

Patrick managed seconds of every thing. He was now full and bloated once again. Cat leaned back in her seat and sighed.

"I'm so stuffed"

"oh, me too"

"lets go back and lay down in bed"

"you make it so easy"

"what?"

"to get you in bed, I don't even have to try hard"

Cat rolled her eyes as she stood up and sashayed off to her room. Patrick gulped down his coffee and followed her. By the time he made it to her room she was already undressed and under the sheets.

"get in here"

Patrick smiled, as he started for the bed.

"wait, your gonna have to be naked if you wanna join me"

"come on"

"sorry love I don't make the rules I just enforce them"

Cat stretched arching her back and running her hand along the empty side of the bed. Running a hand over his full taunt tummy Patrick ran through all of his options. He had eaten to the point of feeling sick, his stomach was round hard and distended he wasn't thrilled about letting Cat see him. But on the other hand that bed looked fantastic, ok so maybe Cat being in the bed made it look all the better.

Cat let out a sigh, Patrick always had to be difficult. What did she have to do? Spell it out for him? She loved the way he looked, he had the most perfect build she had ever scene. She swung her legs over the bed and strolled over to him, enjoying the way her breasts bounced and hips swung with every step. She stood up on her tippy toes a bit and placed a kiss on his full lips. Patrick eagerly returned the kiss, Cat reached behind him and tugged off his shirt. Patrick stood there crossing his arms over his chest and tummy trying to hid the most recent damage he had done to him self. Cat slow began to kiss his neck, working her was slowly to his chest, spending plenty of time to tease his nipples. She worked her self down slowly to the main event, that gorgeously round stomach. She squeezed his thick love handles planting soft sensual kisses as she moved down. She stopped just under his belly button and glanced up at him. Patrick's breathing had slowed down, he bit his lip. Cat grinned she could feel his stiff erection pressing agents her chest. She lovingly ran her hand over it causing it to grow all the faster.

"I think we should move this to the bed" Patrick said with a devilish grin.

"You just read my mind"


	22. Lighting Candles To A Cynical Saint

-1"Ow Ow OWWW Your on my hair"

"sorry you should cut it"

Cat sat up in bed tying her hair up in a pony tale. Patrick of course was kidding, her hair was thick long and came down between her shoulder blades and he truly would be devastated if she cut it.

"are you nuts"

"yes, yes I am"

"I hate you"

"good"

They were in Patrick's bed it had been about three weeks sense he got back from Vegas. They had just gotten back from the movies and a walk along the pier. The walk had to be cut short mainly because they couldn't keep there hands off each other and they were about to do it there in plane view of every body, also there was some one fallowing them and taking pictures. The photographer didn't look old enough to buy a drink, and Patrick told Cat that who ever it was, was most likely waiting for Pete to appear. But the main reason was that they sky had ripped open and poured ice cold rain down on them.

"hey share the blankets"

"Bitch please" Patrick said snapping his fingers.

Cat giggled as she slid her feet under Patrick. She had learned a lot about Patrick sense there first night together. She learned that he wasn't nearly as shy as he let on. Underneath that little boy covering was a completely crazy nerd. Patrick made fun of his self all the time, could do weird impressions and make Cat laugh until she pissed he pants. And she had on one occasion. She also knew that he had just come out of a messy relation ship. She knew that the change in attitude was just the past becoming the past.

Cat ran her hand along and over Patrick's slightly smaller stomach. He had lost weight. Cat wasn't wild about it at first but it wasn't her body so naturally Patrick could do what he pleased with it. Like make love to her.

"this is all I get? Cuddling?"

"what's wrong with that"

"nothing but now your gonna make me work to get you naked"

"Wha-"

Cat didn't have time to finish her thought let along what she was about to say. Patrick was straddling her body and pulling off her clothes along with his. Cat squealed and fought a bit, it was no use playing hard to get because she wanted to be fucked. No love making tonight no Patrick moaning lovely things to her. He would fuck her. And as far as Cat was concerned that was more then alright. She loved when Patrick got rough, demanding and forceful it was hot. And the screaming was good for her lungs.

Patrick rolled off of her with a grunt. Cat lay there in shock at what had happened, he body was still in a pleasure educed comma. She finally forced her body to sit up enough to give Patrick a quick peck on the cheek.

"I love you."

"what was that?"

"I love you Patrick I really do"

"don't say that unless you mean it"

Patrick rolled on to his side, his hair was plastered to the side of his face with sweat his eyes burned into her. She could see a storm brewing in the distance of his ocean gray eyes

"I do you mean it"

"I've herd it before and-"

"its ok"

Cat kissed him softly

"I just wanted you to know"

"I really have strong feelings for you cat, but I've thought I was in love before and it turned out to be any thing but that"

"its all right…if you loose any more weight we might have a problem"

"what?"

"your getting far to thin for my taste"

"Hardly" Patrick said with a grin as he laid back down, allowing cat to rest her head on his stomach.

"I'm no joking, really how much have you lost"

"not much"

"oh come on just tell me"

"5 or 6 pounds not a lot at all"

Cat set up. She looked like a goddess sitting in front of Patrick. Her heart shaped face framed by rich chocolate colored hair. Brown doe eyes, high cheek bones and a roman nose gave way to pouting lips. Then came her neck, Patrick had never gotten excited over a women's neck but Cats drove him wild, long and slender and melted in to her slim narrow shoulders and long elegant arms, oh and her chest. Could any of the gods create a better specimen of woman hood? Her large tear shaped breasts were the perfect size. At 36 C she was much more then a hand full but they sat so perfectly on her curvy figure. Her chest curved into her slender waist, soft at the touch. Then on to the main event. Those hips, wide and full her butt was a perfect apple shape and her legs were thick and long. Oh how Patrick was wild for her bottom half. He spent hours and hours on end admiring it and fantasizing about it. She was perfect she was a goddess she was his.

"that's it, no more of this exercise thing"

"ahuh"

Patrick wasn't listening he was looking at her. 'God she's beautiful' he thought 'I don't deserve her…not at all, no matter how I look or what I do. I don't deserve any one like her'

"Hey"

Patrick looked up (this time at her face)

"I like how you looked before, I really did don't kill your self to look good for me, when I was happy with how you were"

Patrick sighed, he truly didn't want to talk about this.

"lay back down"

"Patrick-"

"come on" he patted the bed and rolled over. He hoped she had picked up on the fact that he was finished with this discussion, there were times Cat would keep pushing things. Thankfully she just curled up next to Patrick and closed her eyes.

Cat was awoken around 3. Some one was knocking on the door.

"Patrick?"

"ya I'm up"

She lay there next to him in silence listening to the lock in the door turn.

"who is that?"

"either a blood thirsty vampire…or Pete. Please be a vampire please be a vampire please be a vampire please be a-"

"PATRICK?!"

"Its Pete."

"I see"

"PATRICK?!" Pete yelled again from the other room.

"Pete, I'm coming hold on"

Patrick looked back at Cat and laughed as he pulled up a his jeans and boxers and tugged a t shirt over his head. He didn't bother looking for his hat and it really was no big deal it was only Pete.

"I'll be right back" He said as he placed a kiss on Cats lips and heading out the door.

Cat flopped back on the bed and sighed. It was late…ok so it was early. Cat had to work she had told Patrick that she couldn't stay the night. She had told him that they couldn't fool around but what happens? Patrick flashes that gorgeous grin and before she knows it her panties are off. Cat stood up and started getting dressed. She knew that if Patrick came back she would never be able to leave. Damn his charm and good looks. She smoothed down the front of her dress it was still damp, she could hear the rain out side, it was pouring. She rummaged through Patrick's room until she found a hoodie she pulled it on and zipped it up. She tried to smooth her hair down but there was really no use. "damn him" she mumbled under her breath. She paused before opening the door. She could hear mumbled voices through the door, she smiled and as she walked out into the living room.

They both glanced up at her. Patrick looked more surprised then Pete, although he did look shocked to see her.

"I have to go"

"you don't have too"

"I have work I told you I couldn't say" Cat bent down and gave Patrick a quick peck on the cheek.

"by, I'll call you tomorrow." she tossed a little wave to Pete, she didn't want to come off rude.

"by"

The door slammed shut and Patrick returned his attention back to Pete. Pete raised an eye brow and studied Patrick carefully.

"no wonder you look so good"

"what do you mean"

"all of that vigorous exercise you've been getting in the sack"

"shut up Pete…better yet why are you here?"

"you told me to shut up"

"ya but when do you listen to me"

"good point, I just got back in town"

"from… New York"

Patrick's eyes fallowed Pete as he walked around.

"yep"

"how's ash?"

"good she sent her love, have you lost weight?"

"don't change the subject"

"I wasn't I was bridging subjects"

"that's the same thing"

"like it matters, have you"

"sure, how was it"

"it was great"

"I really love her"

"I know you do"

"I still have yet to meet Cat"

"you just got back in town"

"I don't care, why are you sneaking around with her"

"what, Pete you are ridiculous. I'm not sneaking around"

"come on, who have you introduced her to?"

Patrick was quiet.

"really? WOW Patrick I at least thought you would have let your dad meet her"

"I'm not sneaking around with her"

"Patrick, you didn't even tell me she was here."

"you just showed up here, I wasn't even dressed"

"you get so defensive" Pete said laughing.

"I'm going to kill you"

"naw, well I'm going to get going. I do want to get to know her though. I don't like the idea of you sneaking around with some girl I barley know."

"ok, I'll see you later"

"oh! I got some lyrics done, I don't know what you think but maybe you can look them over and give me your input" Pete handed Patrick a few pieces of folded up paper.

"you know I live for this"

Pete laughed "ya I'm sure. So I'll call you up tomorrow? Maybe we can get together or some thing."

"sounds like a plan"

"ok by"

"Later"

Patrick locked his door again and headed back into his room. He just stood there a few minuets looking at the empty bed. It looked so big and cold with out Cat laying there. He couldn't help but be sad Cat left, but at the same time he under stood. She did say she had to work. He toyed with the idea of calling her up but decided against it. If she didn't want to spend the night then she wouldn't want him calling her. Finally Patrick decided that sleep would be the best choice for him. He stripped off his jeans but left his t shirt on. The blankets still smelled like Cat. Sweet and rich. Slowly Patrick drifted off to sleep.

Jackie Haynes sat in a beauty parlor getting her hair and nails done. The young Asian girl was busying her self rubbing lotion up and down Jackie's perfectly toned legs. Jackie was a pretty girl but she knew this. How ever she was really nothing all that special. Your run of the mill blond bimbo. Jackie had blond hair, not the pretty natural hair or even attempted to look natural hair, hers was color treated platinum blond. She had an overly made up face. Too much foundation, eye make up, blush. Her face wasn't any thing special. She had D breasts and being a size 2 it certainly doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that they were fake. They weren't the only thing fake about her, her nose and lips were also made in china. She flashed a smile at the young woman doing her pedicure. She was in there once very two weeks to be waited on. She considered some of the girls close friends… even though she loved to gossip relentlessly about them, or any one for that matter.

Today was like any other day she got her beauty treatments, hair nails skin and a tan. She sipped a light skim low fat latté as she flipped through a magazine. Then she read some thing. Her eyes widened and her nostrils flared as her green eyes settled on a set of photos of a couple holding hands, kissing and holding each other. The curvy dark haired girl was some one Jackie had never seen. Jackie didn't think she was ugly but the girl was no where near as hot as she was. 'they'll just put any on in a magazine now adays wont they' she thought to her self as her eyes rested on the young man she was with. There was a hat pulled over his head, he was slightly chubby, and had side burn. There was no denying who it was, Patrick. A smile crept across Jackie's lips as she read the caption under the photos. "Fall Out Boy Falls In Love?" A crackle of laughter escaped her as she thought of her old friend.

"Wha so founny Mes Heyynees" the girl said in a thick oriental accent.

"oh nothing just thought of an old friend is all"


	23. Love Me Cancerously

-1Cat placed a burger and fries in front of an attractive muscular black man and slid a chicken sandwich and lemon water to the stick thin model looking girl in front of him. She was a tad homely but had a nice body. The man kept looking around. Cat fingered she was his "other girl". Figured wasn't the right word for it, knew was the best word for the situation. She had scene that look on men's faces hundreds of times. Their smiles a little to perfect, sitting in the back away from people, constantly looking around and trying to get out with out being scene as fast as they could. The fact was Cat knew a lot about people just by serving them food and taking drink orders. For instance beside the cheating man, she knew Mr. Jones came in every Friday with another young boy, he was gay and could be charged with statutory rape, (the boys he showed up with couldn't be older then 17.) Did she say any thing nope. Did she open her mouth when Mrs. Lynne called and asked if her husband was there when he was in fact in the bathroom doing a few line of coke. No she said she would have him call back when she saw him again. And she couldn't forget Lennet a 14 year old girl who came in once a week ordered a huge meal and then went to the bathroom to purge. People think that they could get away with any thing, but there was always some one noticing there little habits. So when the muscular black man smiled at her she would smile back, and bite her tongue to keep from calling him a lying cheating snake. When Mr. Jones told her that was a business client she would node and ask how his company was, when deep down she wanted to smack him in the face. When Lennet came back from the bathroom Cat would ask how the food was rather then tell her to get help.

Yes Cat was more then use to keeping her mouth shut about things. It was something she had done scene she was a child. Just play dumb and no one will ever suspect a thing. Cat had her own secrets and she certainly wouldn't want any one calling her on them. Cat leaned up against the bar and smiled up at the bar tender. He laughed and poured her a drink, rum and coke. Cat gulped it down and looked up at him.

"long day"

"ya, I'll be here until 7."

"plans later"

"I'm going to grab drinks with my boy friend and meet his friends."

"that sounds fun"

"ugh I don't know, I'm more nervous then any thing"

"looks like you just got another table"

"oh yay"

"ya group of girls hot as hell but look like bitches,"

Cat stood up and grabbed a handful of menus as she began her way to the table.

"oh and don't worry about tonight, every one loves you"

And Jack was right, every one did love Cat. She just had this air about her. People enjoyed her company.

"HI, My Name Is Cat And I'll Be Your Waitress Can I Start You Off With Some Drinks?"

A bleach blond with brown eyes looked up at her with an overly made up face, and low cut top. Her friends look the same more or less. They had different hair color and styles but they all had that smug I'm so much better then you are look on there faces.

"Diet coke, VERY little ice, I hate when you people rip me off by filling the cup with ice."

"same" the two other girls chimed in.

"ok I'll be right back with your drinks."

As Cat returned with the drinks she realized that, A. she would be out of there in an hour, B. she would get no tip from these stuck up girls and C. She really didn't want to go out to night just sit on the couch with Patrick and watch shitty TV.

"Ok here are your drinks, are you ladies ready to order."

"Its this diet"

"yes, it is"

"It sure as hell doesn't taste diet"

"well I'm positive it is"

"well look here, I'm sure you have never been on a diet in your life, the size of your ass proves that, now if I say this isn't diet then its not diet. Now walk you huge ass back there and get me a new one"

Cat smiled, "I'm so sorry for the confusion."

"there a problem" Jack asked as he walk over to where Cat stood, once again filling a glass with VERY little ice and diet coke.

"What do you think, I just got insulted by little miss fun bags because she said he coke wasn't diet."

"what she say"

"she called me fat"

"your not Cat you are so not you have the most perfect body of any body. Your gorgeous you truly are."

"thank you Jack" Cat giggled

"I mean every word of it"

"I know, that's enough. I have to get this back to fun bags over there"

Cat put on her fakest smile as she handed the drink back to the overly made up blond bimbo.

The girls all ordered creaser salads (dressing on the side) and sat at the table talking about people for another 45 minuets. Finally they left and Cat picked up the plates and went to collect her measly tip. Sitting on a table was 1$. And on the recite read:

Hers a tip bitch get some lipo.

Cat shook her head, she didn't get paid enough for this.

"what's wrong?" Jack asked walking through the kitchen and out the back door to the parking lot.

"my tip" Cat handed him the note.

"Cat your perfect and if I was with you I would make sure you knew it."

"thanks and don't worry my ego is still huge."

"I just cant believe those cunts did that to you, there jealous that's what it is."

"thanks jack, but its not all bad look they gave me a dollar, that ought to get ride of all that junk in ma trunk."

Jack smiled and looked away.

"I'll see you wendsday"

"walk you to your car?"

"I'll be fine on my own, by Jack."

"by"

Jack watch Cat walk away get in her car and pull out. He stood there until he could no longer see her head lights. He stood there until he felt the cool wind bite him, until he felt he could no longer smell her sweet sent. Jack walked to his car alone, he was going home alone, he would sleep alone and wake up alone then he would repeat the whole process. He sat in his car and sighed. 'she's the love of my life he thought. And she doesn't even know it'.


	24. Big Hearts Are For Breaking

-1Cat pulled open the door to Patrick's apartment and flung her self on the couch.

"Lucy I'm home,"

Patrick walked out of his bed room, he looked so adorable. Black skinny jeans, a crisp white button down shirt under a black sweater vest he toped of his look with a black fedora hat.

"Are you going to get ready?"

"I bet those clothes would look nicer on the floor"

"Ha ha, hurry up were going to be late"

"but I'm tired and my feet hurt. Lets stay in and order pizza and be lazy"

"Cat,"

"would it be ok if I spent the night"

" I don't know why you don't just move in with me"

"oh and what would the perks be? Hum you yelling at me and telling me what to do"

"no more of these god awful stairs"

"eh they aint so bad"

Patrick took the seat next to her.

"get out of here kid."

"go get dressed"

"make me"

"I will"

Patrick stood up and Cat squalled and took off. She paused a minuet to see if Patrick would chase her. He did he always did. After they ran around the apartment a few times Patrick managed to grab her and drag her into the bed room. She didn't go easily he had to fight her. Patrick shoved her on to the bed.

"Now-Go-Get-Dressed" he panted.

"ok-ok-ok"

Cat hopped up and made her way to the bathroom. She made a big production of wiggling out of her jeans and unbuttoning her top. She finally slipped into a pair of faded gray jeans and a flowy shirt with big seventy's flowers on it.

"all right, lets get this over with"

"aww come on just pretend you wanna do this."

"I do, I just like to bust your balls"

"you do an amazing job of it"

"I know right?"

As they walked into the restaurant they were bombarded with camera flashes. People shouting things yelling for Patrick asking who she was, honestly it was on the most nerve racking experiences Cat had ever been faced with. She was frightened and gripped Patrick's hand tight and tried to keep up with his long strides.

"oh my god, that was"

"ya sorry I normally don't get that when I go places, that means Pete's here already though"

"fuck, its about time you got here"

"sorry"

"no your not"

"am I ever"

Cat smiled at Patrick and Pete going back and forth. It made her feel less anxious to meet him. And his friend, who's name she couldn't remember but was sporting a very impressive fro.

"This is cat, uh Cat that's Pete and Joe" (Andy had to take a rain check)

"hi" she said in a weak voice sitting down beside Patrick.

Cat left her body. She was there but she wasn't. She was watching Pete Joe and  
Patrick argue and talk about stupid things. She was beginning to feel less and less worried about this dinner. Now she wanted to join in with there playful banter.

"oh go fuck off Joe"

"Do you even know what were talking about"

"ya Patrick I do you two are to ignorant to get the bigger picture here"

"What is it then hum?"

"ya Joe enlighten us."

"what ever you guys, you just don't get how great Nintendo is"

"please that things a load"

Joe Pete and Patrick all just looked at Cat. She had been talking very little all night, this was the first thing she had said all night and for a split second Patrick felt guilty that he didn't include her like he should have.

"you were saying?" Pete asked, one eye brow cocked?

"well it simple, Nintendo was fun and all but there are no new games, what's the point in playing a game I've bet 30 times?"

"well played" Patrick said laughing.

The rest of the night was more of the same talking laughing and lots of food and drinks…lots of drinks.

"Jimmy Hendrix BEST guitar player hands down" Cat said pounding on the table

"oh no way"

"he is so not"

"maybe way back in the day but not now, besides I'm way better"

"ok Pete time to put you ego away"

"He cant Patrick its too big to do any thing with."

The four of them erupted in laughter.

"we should go some where"

"where" Joe asked

"well I could shave your head"

"aww no we like the JewFro"

"JewFro?"

"ya like afro, only Joes not black he's Jewish so he has a Jewfro." Patrick said as logically as he could.

"oh I got it…isn't that a tad raciest?"

"very" Patrick said laughing

"Yes please don't try to shave it" Pete said

"what ever, lets go to a club or some thing"

"I'm game if you two are"

"Go for dickey" Joe blurted.

"well I'm not going to leave Cat alone with you two"

"what do you think is going to happen to me hum?"

"you don't even want to know"

The Club was fantastic the music was loud it was crowded and wild. They were having a great time, until Pete saw some one. She had bleach blond hair, a skirt that was more or less a belt and a skin tight slinky tank top that wasn't covering up much at all. It was Jackie. Pete stood there a minuet. His heart rate tripled and his breathing stiffened. His first instant was to kill her. He could see Patrick and Cat from where he was standing. All Patrick would have to do was look over and he would get an eye full of the worst thing he could have ever done to him self.

Pete made a B line to where Patrick Joe and Cat we sitting. He needed to get out of here. Hell he didn't give a fuck if just Patrick left. Right now all he knew was that Patrick was getting over her and seeing her would ruin every thing. Pete didn't need that, he had come to far to have to start back at the beginning with Patrick.

"HEY!, LETS GET OUT OF HERE"

"WHY IM HAVING A GREAT TIME" Cat yelled back

" WE COULD GO TO MY PARENTS HOUSE. THEY HAVE A POOL"

"WHAT?"

"MY HOUSE"

"OH COME ON PETE, HAVE FUN WITH US" Patrick said grinning.

"COME ON COME ON COME ON, I WANNA SWIM"

"PETE YOU'RE A PAIN"

"FINE" Joe added.

"COME ON ONE MORE DRINK"

"STAY IF YOU WANT"

"HEY PETE KNOCK IT OFF"

"WHAT"

"I SAID TO, FUCK COME ON LETS GO."

Patrick grabbed Cats arm and pulled her up. The four of them headed to the door. Pete made sure he walked behind Patrick he didn't want to chance Jackie spotting him.

After what felt like to Pete the longest walk of his life they made it to the parking lot. Patrick Joe and Cat started a game of tag. (which proved difficult with them being a little more then tipsy.)

"come on guys lets go back to my place"

"what's you deal Pete?"

"I just wanted to get out of there you know"

"your weird, come on I'm not going to hang out in a parking lot all night. You promised me a pool and a hot tub."

Pete smiled and followed Joe to the cab.

Pete felt nothing but relief but if only he had known that things were about to get a hell of a lot worse very fast he may have held off on that little thank you he sent up to god. He also would have known that hurricane Jackie wasn't even half over. They were all just sitting in the eye of it, and hell is about to break loose.


	25. I Need You So Much Closer

-1Cat stretched and curled up closer to the body next to her. But it wasn't right, she sat up pushing her hair out of her face. Looking at the half dressed man next to her in the chair. She sighed settling back into Joes lap. He didn't feel half as good as Patrick did. But she was cold and didn't feel like getting up. Besides she got to see a side of Patrick she seldom saw. Patrick and Pete lay curled up on the couch. She smiled at him they were so cute together. Cat glanced around the living room. She tried for a while to go back to sleep, but Joe wasn't much to snuggle up with. Patrick was softer and much more tolerable of her cold feet being shoved into him. Plus Joe snored.

"can you stop that"

"huh?"

"that"

Joe said gesturing to Cat's hand going up and down Joe's stomach, searching for the belly that wasn't there.

"it tickles" he said grinning.

"look how cute they are"

"I know don't you just wanna squeeze them"

"wanna go jump on them"

"can we" Joe asked as his face lit up.

"I don't see why not but shhhh we need to be quiet."

"ya ya the element of surprise."

Cat and Joe quietly crept up to the couch and stood over the two sleeping boys. Pete stirred but then relaxed again. And for a split second Cat experienced a feeling she never thought she would have, jealousy over a man. She wanted to be Pete Wentz, she wanted to be the one curled up against him sleeping in the sun. She shook the thoughts out of her mind. It was go time, now or never. Cat and Joe's eyes locked. He held up and hand. And mouthed the numbers as he showed them. 5...4...3...2.….1

"WAKE UPPPPPPPPPPPPP"

"KALABUNGA!!!!"

Joes landed square on Patrick, while Cats knees made contact whit Pete's firm stomach. Patrick and Pete jumped up and thrashed in a moment of wild confusion. Patrick sat on the floor looking and Joe and Cat laughing on the couch and Pete had a wild look on his face like he was ready to fight.

"you both suck" Pete said smiling

"ya" Patrick agreed slowly standing up. Not looking away and preparing him self for any further attack.

"come on" Cat said patting the couch "join us"

Patrick sandwiched himself between Joe and Cat. He had decided that he didn't want them plotting against him any more, after all he could already feel the bruise forming on his shoulder. Pete took the opposite side of the couch next to Cat and turned on the TV. Cat and Joe were still giggling. Pete liked Cat she was a breath of fresh air and she was fun.

Cat was resting her head on Patrick's shoulder and tracing the shapes of Pete's tattoos.

"Patrick why don't you have any tattoos?"

"Why do you have tattoos?"

"to shay."

"I have to work tonight babe." Cat said standing up. It was a lie. But she wanting to get home and have Patrick to herself. She wanted to feel him pin her against the bed, she wanted his breath on her neck his lips on hers. She wanted him and wanted him now. Every thing else was secondary. She hoped Patrick could sense that to.

"well ok, you ready now? I have some stuff to do"

"ya its up to you."

"ok"

Patrick stood up and grabbed his stuff off the table and handed it to Cat.

"I'll talk to you guys later"

"ok peace"

"by nice to met you with your clothes on Cat"

"like wise Peter"

Joe and Pete's eyes followed them out of the house. They didn't speak until they watched Patrick pull out of the drive way.

"so"

"I like her, she's fun"

"ya but is she to much fun"

"what?"

"like she's gonna want to party all the time"

"I don't know Pete all I know is I like her"

"you liked Jackie too"

"meaning what?"

"nothing"

"no what did you mean by that?"

"I saw her last night"

"…wh-"

"last night at the club I saw her that's why I wanted to get out of there."

"does Patr-"

"no oh god no. I didn't say any thing to him."

"so he doesn't know."

"of course not. Do you see how he is now."

"he's back to his old self"

"ya your right"

"you ever get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that some things about to turn very bad."

"no"

"well that's how I feel lately"

Patrick flopped down on the couch and let out a sigh as he kicked off his shoes and jeans.

"I thought you were off" Patrick yelled into the bath room. And absent mindedly adjusting him self.

"I am"

"but I thought you sa-"

Patrick stopped half way thought his sentence. Cat walked out of the bathroom. She had on a black teddy with red stiletto shoes. Her eyes were black and smoky and her lips painted ruby red. Her hair was teased and wild. Patrick's eyes ran the length of her body over and over. He was always taught to respect women, not to look at them as a thing and to always be a gentle man. However that never got him this. His breath hitched in his chest. His groin felt hot and began to throb. Patrick's eyes followed her to his record collection and over to his record player. She flipped the record over and set the needle. Prince's Kiss began to poor out of the player. Cat slowly walk over to the couch singing along to the words.

"I just want your extra time and your kiss" she said leaning in until her lips barely touched Patrick's. She pulled away at the last minuet.

"no touching."

She took a long step away.

"You don't need to watch dinesity to turn me out" She slipped the teddy off.

"Just leave it all up to me" she was clad in a black lace bra and thong. "I'm gonna show you what its all about" She sashayed around the sofa and ran her finer tips across his broad shoulders. She was twisting and grinding and rolling her hips. Patrick was rock hard and he longed to touch her. Cat straddled his lap and kissed him and ran her finer tips over his screaming erection.

She leaned in and whispered in his ear.

"GO to the bed room, GET naked and LAY down"

Patrick just nodded, mouth gaping open in a big sloppy grin.

Patrick jumped off the couch and straight in to the bed room taking off the rest of his clothes as he went. Cat smiled and applied some more lip stick before heading in the bed room after him.

"wow"

Cat smiled. Patrick hadn't said any thing in about fifteen minuets other then wow.

"WOW"

Cat giggled "don't you have any thing else to say"

"no…WOOOOW"

Cat's fingers traced the curve of his stomach. Patrick let out a sigh as Cat ran her finger tips over him. He felt electrified like his nerves were on the out side of his body. Each stroke of her finger tips against his stomach caused him to shudder. Life was good. He had just had the best sex ever with the best girl ever and WOW.

"you ok? I didn't like break you did I"

"no my body has just gone into shock is all"

"oh should I call some one?"

"no…I'll be alright"

"I'm glad you enjoyed your self"

"oh ya I did. Was it good for you?" Patrick asked sitting up, causing his stomach to push out into a soft ball in his lap.

"I wouldn't have done all that if I wasn't going to enjoy it…hey where did you learn that twist thing you did."

"what thing"

"that flicking twisting thing you did with your tongue"

"oh I don't know. Why"

"I liked that"

"really"

"yea it was fantastic."

"really?"

"YES" Patrick rolled over on to his back a put one arm under his head.

"I'm always worried about how it is"

"you have to have more confidence in your self Patrick"

"I know I know but I don't know what it is. I've like always got this dark voice in my head that just puts dark thoughts in my head"

"well let me see what's good here"

"your smart, funny as hell, talented, cute, handsome, sexy all get out."

"I don't know about those last three"

"why is that"

"I'm just not a good looking guy, I've gained back some weight I lost"

"so what it wasn't a lot any way"

"but you thought it was a lot when I lost it"

"ok are we really going to do this?"

"what"

"look at me"

Patrick sat up and looked into Cats eyes. She was studying him. Suddenly he felt nervous. Her eyes ran along every inch of his body. And she smiled.

"I love ever inch of you. I love, your hair and side burns. I love that your eyes are the color of the ocean on a stormy day. I love that little scar you have above your eyebrow. I think your nose is perfect, straight and never been broken."

"its big"

"its cute. I love your lips, there so full and red. I love that you have a little bit of an under bite. I love your chubby face."

Cat planted a kiss at the nape of his neck.

"I love that you skin is the color of porcelain and is so soft. I love your broad shoulders, I love how soft you chest is and your pudgy belly. I love you nice big cock. I love your round ass. I love your thighs and legs. I love the way you hold me and make love to me. I love the way you look into my eyes, I love the way you make me feel. I love every thing about you Patrick. Good or bad. I love it all. You restored my fait in life. I had given up on my dream until I met you. Your this incredible person and you don't even know it."

Patrick was quiet. He didn't know what to say he had never had a girl tell him these things before.

"I wish you saw what I saw when I looked at you."

Cat lay back down Patrick followed her lead. He settled his head onto her stomach. She was running her fingers through his hair. Neither one of them spoke for a long time.

Patrick picked up her hand and kissed it.

"I know I'm broken"

"what"

"I'm broken."

"I know, I wish you would let me in and let me fix you."

Cat was quiet, Patrick looked up and saw she had fallen asleep.

"I love you Cat." Patrick said before he worried himself to sleep.


	26. I Held You Closer Then Any One

-1Patrick bolted up gasping for air. His heart was racing his lungs felt tight his throat felt as if it was on fire the bed sheets felt wet and damp from his sweat. His stomach tightened and a sharp pain stabbed through his side. Patrick stood up on his shaky legs and made his way to the bath room. After splashing some water on his face he headed back to bed.

"you ok?" Cat giggled

"ya fine"

"bad dream"

Patrick nodded. He was trying to remember what it was that had scared him awake but now it was gone. Other then the shaken feeling he had. He settled back into bed.

"I should get up and do some thing."

"or you can lay back down and do me?"

"that's all I've been doing lately"

"you say that like it's a bad thing"

"trust me its not"

Cat ran her hand around his stomach. Patrick's eyes followed her hand, up down around over under up and down. She was singing in Italian. Patrick sighed and nuzzled his head against her neck.

"so I was thinking"

"hum" Patrick could feel the light vibrations of Cats voice.

"I was planning on going home for a bit."

Patrick held his breath.

"ya" this had been what he was afraid of. Cat deciding that it wasn't time for her to head home. That she missed her brother and her uncle and her parents.

"would you wanna come with me?"

"what?"

"go to New York with me."

"really?"

"ya, I really want my uncle and brother to meet you"

"what about your parents?"

"what about them?"

"you never talk about them, ever"

"there in Africa"

"doing"

"pro bono work"

"that's great"

"it is what it is"

"meaning…"

"they do great things for other people"

"what about you"

Patrick brush a strand of hair out of Cats face. He looked deep into her crystal blue eyes. They were swimming in tears, her lips were pressed tightly together. She was hurting, hurting bad. She was trying not to cry she was fighting with her emotions and it broke Patrick's heart.

"they never came to see me"

"hum?"

She was quiet for the better half of ten minuets.

"never, they never came to see me"

"when?"

"when I called them to say 'HEY BACK IN THE STATES' they never came to see me. My brother did. My uncle did. Friends had but not my parents."

"that's horrible"

"do you know how many birthdays I spent alone? Christmas, Easter, mothers day fathers "day. To know that you weren't important enough for your parents time. Do you know "how many nights I spent crying my eyes out promising myself that one of there's days my "dad would look at me and say your beautiful and you deserve some one who knows it. "Do you know what I would give to have my mom smile at me and say that's my girl"

Patrick was quiet. What could he say to make any of that better. By now there were tears rolling down her face. But she wasn't done, not yet.

"I never had parents I never had my dad smile at me and say things normal dads say. The "longest talks I hade with my dad were in the morning. He called me Reese. He said ya "great Reese with the news paper in front of his face he forgot my fucking name. My "parents wouldn't be able to pick me or my brother out of a police line up. And they were "so happy when I told them I was going to go to medical school. And now look"

Patrick pulled her close to him. And she cried. Hard gasping sobs that shook her whole body. Patrick kissed her tears away. He held her closer then he had ever held any one in his life. Held her and kissed her until the tears stopped. And when they did finally stop he pulled her to his chest and held on even tighter. There was nothing he could say to her to ease the pain and fill the void her parents left. He couldn't say any thing but he could hold her. That's what she needed to be held as tight as he could hold her. And he would and he wouldn't let go until she told him to. And even then he might not let go.

"what about your uncle"

She laughed.

"what"

"he spent lots of time trying to fill up his own void. Drugs sex booze. Any thing. I didn't meet him until I was 16."

"that's horrible"

"it was."

"does he-"

"no quit cold turkey. He has a few vices left. Smoking food me and my brother. He's always been there. You wanna here some thing sick?"

"sure"

"I use to wish my parents hit me."

"…why"

"because at least with abuse I'd get some damn attention."

Patrick was shocked. It was definitely a sick thought. He grew up with out his mother but he had his dad. And his dads countless girlfriends. So that kinda made up for a mother didn't it. His father encouraged him to have a relation ship with her but he just never saw a point. But hearing what Cat said made him wish he had tried to have some thing with her.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have put all of this on you"

"no I'm glad you did. I want you to tell me these kinds of things I get what your saying though"

"really?"

"ya I was in a kind of fucked up relation ship. Its really not the same but it fucked me up"

"tell me"

"tell you what"

"you've said that before but you never told me any thing about it"

"oh"

"if you don't want to then-"

"no its probly healthy to talk about right?"

"ya"

"she just used me, cheated on me complained about how I looked, cut me down every chance she got. Say things about how fat I was. It was stupid and I was stupid but"

"it wasn't stupid then"

"ya it was like"

"the only thing that made sense any more. And if you could be a better person if you could "just change and make them happy then you would be happy and that feeling you had "before when you were with them would come back."

"ya…exactly but how do-"

"I've been in more then a few abusive relation ships"

"it wasn't really abusive"

"she hurt you, she hurt you and did it on purpose. Doesn't matter if she hit you or not she "hurt you bad I can see it written all over your face."

Patrick opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off.

"some times after sex, you get this look of shame and utter embarrassment. Like you cant "even enjoy your self. When I touch you and you pull away. Every time you say some "thing horrible about your self. When you look at your self in the mirror and I can see the "hatred in your face. And-"

"Iloveyou" Patrick's words came out fast and jumbled.

"what"

"I Love you Cat. I love you"

"do you mean that"

"I love you Catherin"

"I love you to Patrick."

"I wanna go with you when you go home"

"are you sure?"

"I've never been more sure of any thing in my life"


	27. I Just Set Them Up To Knock Them Down

-1**[Authors Note: I Just wanna thank every one who has read and enjoyed this story. I've been down lately and recently decided it was trash. I've tried to come back to this story a hundred times but every thing I write I delete. I Finished reading all of your comments (all 15 of you) and I wanna say thank you for the support. Its been a REALLY long time. And if your no longer are interested or have moved on from thing I understand. But currently it is 12:44 am on a Tuesday morning and im going to sit down and write you all a little teaser. Thank you all again. And now here we go.]**

Jackie stood in front of her apartment door. Twirling her hair around her finer her eyes (green today) were fixed on the bright pink piece of paper taped to her apartment door. She cocked her head from side to side…but it was still there. That bright disapproving slip of paper. Stuck right on her door. Oh the nerve of some people. With a loud huff she ripped it off and stomped inside. She crumpled it up and threw it in the trash, picked up her shopping bags and continued inside. She made it all the way to her bed room before she thought better off it. She took a deep breath before reentering the kitchen and plucking that horrible slip of paper out of the trash and smoothing it on the counter.

"im not that far behind on rent" she told the little pink eviction notice.

"why maybe a month or two…there's no way you are kicking me out of here"

The paper of course said nothing. The dark print simply stared back up at her.

Jackie made her way back into the bed room.

If there was one thing she was good at it was getting what she wanted. Ever since she was a little girl she got what she wanted. She told her dad she wanted a puppy she got a puppy. She told Bobby in middle school she wanted him to dump his girl friend and date her, it happened. In college she told her professor to give her and A and he did. See Jackie had a way of getting what she wanted…anything she wanted No man had ever said no to her. She pondered this as she put on a fresh coat of lip stick and a low cut top. No matter the cost there were always men lining up to please her. And who was the one man who stuck out in her mind…Patrick. She shimmied into a pair of tight low rise jeans. Sweet, sweet Patrick who was always willing to do back flips for her. Shopping trips to Paris, Malan, Tokyo and of course he would foot the bill. Yes Patrick had been her number one meal ticket. The only problem was he wasn't as rich as she had originally thought. That had been the kicker of course he was very well to do he just couldn't give her what she wanted. Pausing to fluff her hair and apply a little mascara Jackie thought back to what made her stay with him for so long. It certainly wasn't his looks or charm…there was Pete but he was gay. Had to be always rubbing up on Patrick (she could hardly bring her self to do it) and the obvious, he wasn't into her and all men were after all. What was it, she thought to her self, as she grabbed her bag and headed out the door. Then it hit her. It was his inability to tell her no. What ever she did he ignored. Patrick had an amazing ability to look past her behavior. And after all why shouldn't he? She was of course gods gift to men. And right now she wanted to be worshiped. What she craved was a blood sacrifice.


	28. I'm Supposed To Love You

*YAY COMPUTER IS BACK!!!! WERE BACK IN BUSINESS KIDS!*

Jack's eyes stayed glued to the door as he wiped down the bar. He had been cleaning the same spot for around ten minutes. But this spot had the BEST view of the door, and he was waiting for cat. Oh beautiful and sweet Catharine. "I could give you the world, you are my goddess and I worship you. JUST NOTICE ME." He held his breath…no not her. He was doing his best to looking busy but it was getting harder and harder. "Come on come on" he thought. He just needed to see her. His heart was pounding he felt sick and nervous. All he needed was to look at her. She was his drug and he was dying for a fix. The door swung open again…still no. Where the hell was she? Then he saw her. A beauty the world had yet to see, a wild rose growing among a field of weeds. Gorgeous sweet, sweet Cat. He paused, something sickening caught his eye. It…it was cat. In the arms of some man, it was the hardest thing he had ever had to witness.

"Hey Jacky boy"

"Cat"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing "

"Good because life is beautiful"

"How so?"

"Just got back from visiting family"

"That your brother out there then" a dumb question he thought

"God no, my boy friend. Oh ya you have never met him"

"No" never will he thought

"Well he is just the greatest thing in the world"

"You know what's funny?"

"Huh"

"The person you love and the person who loves you are never the same person"

"Well I guess I'm just lucky then"

"ya you must be"

"I gotta say Jack…I think he's it"

"IT?"

"You know. IT the one"

"One?"

"Ya I feel so amazing when I'm with him, and when I'm not I can't help but think about being with him."

"You should slow down"

"Why?"

"The one? Come on Cat. He could be a damn mass murder for all you know"

"What?" cat asked laughing?

"Really cat how much do you know about him?"

"I know I love him"

"DON'T say that"

"Why…" Cat took a step back, for the first time in her life she was uneasy about Jack.

"Because you…you…you haven't been together long enough…I don't want you to get hurt"

"Ya…I better get to work" Cat walked away her heart racing and mind spinning.

Cat went about her work. But for the first time she was really aware of her surroundings. She noticed that the closest exit was through the kitchen. And at any given time a police man would walk by. She wondered as she waited on men if any of them would risk their lives to help someone…she also wandered how many would hurt her if given the chance. If a man came at her with a gun would any one save her? If she was shot would they help, or just sit there. Capturing every last moment in their minds so they could relive it over and over again. It was an eerie thought, but she couldn't shake it. All day her mind drifted back to that dark place. She had never been so uneasy in her life. And she lived in New York for fucks sake. A city that got off on sex drugs and murder, so why it was right now she felt like her every move was being watched. She turned around and Jack was watching her. She felt his eyes dig into her. She had always known Jack had a crush on her. After all how could she not know? He was always dropping hints and making comments but a crush is only a crush right? Completely harmless. She let out a deep breath of course. She was just paranoid because she and Patrick rented that movie last night. She had a hard time sleeping because of it also. And now? All of her crazy thoughts were just the repercussions of the movie. Besides Patrick swore he would never let anyone hurt her. She looked up again, and there was Jack still watching her. She smiled and waved, it was all her over active imagination…but still why did she feel like something bad was just about to happen.


	29. Your Not The First Or The Last

Cat sat quietly on the bed watching Patrick. He was fresh out of the shower; water glistened off of his body. "He's so small" Cat thought to herself. Of course he was much larger compared to her, and he had those broad shoulders but at the end of the day, compared to any other guy he was small. Her uncle had said brought it up originally. And now her mind kept going back to that but why.

"Get over here big boy"

"You gonna stay the night? Again"

"Of course, and if you're lucky I'll be in your bed all day as well"

Cat flipped her hair and snuggled up to Patrick's warm body.

"Why don't you just move in with me?"

"Oh we talked about this"

"Half your shit is already here. You sleep here all the time"

"Patrick…"

"Ok, ok keep your back up place, how was work?"

"It was ok, Jack creped me out some"

Patrick suddenly stopped his ritual channel surfing and sat up a concerned look on his face.

"What did he do? Did he say something? Touch you?"

"Relax Rambo, nothing happened"

"Something had to happen to creep you out"

"I don't know, the way he looked at me, I know he has a crush on me but"

"But what"

Patrick's eyes were wide and glossy; his complete physical demeanor had suddenly changed completely. He looked angry and wild and outrageously sexy.

"God you look sexy right now"

"Cat…"

Patrick didn't finish his sentence, he wasn't able to Cats tongue was in his mouth, and her taste was disrupting his train of thought. He gave in to her, resisting was pointless. After all why would you, she was his goddess and he was going to get down on his knees and worship her. He kissed her neck rigorously working his way slowly down. He paused momentarily at her navel slipping his tongue in quickly before moving lower. He spread her thighs with his hands kissing the insides as he went. Sliding off Cats black silk panties as delicately as possibly, never loosing contact between his mouth and her sweet, sweet flesh. Patrick paused and looked longingly into Cats wide excited eyes. A small smile graced his mouth and he licked his lips. Tonight it was all about her. He would get down on his knees and pay tribute to his muse, his world, his goddess.

Cat sat up, the sun was inking its way into the bed room. Cat thought about getting up, about fixing Patrick breakfast and coffee, a luxury he had grown so accustomed to. But she couldn't, her body was still tingling from last night. _He sure knew what he was doing down there. _She thought smiling. _He was the best I'd ever had. _Then it dawned on her, you don't just wake up one day knowing how to do the things he had done to her. He was taught and corrected and molded to know how to do what he did. Worst of all that meant he had done the same thing he had done to her to another women. For the first time Cat was having second thoughts about him. When they made love who was he thinking about? When he said he loved her who was he saying he loved? Was it her or his ex. The women who left him barely breathing, the women he had loved so much that her leaving had caused his world to implode. Would she ever be able to break some on like that? She didn't want to hurt Patrick, but she wanted to be somebody's somebody; she wanted to be the women who made the sun rise and set each night. She wanted to know that she held Patrick's heart. But was it too late? Did Patrick already give his heart away to someone?

Jackie stood up and stretched, it was noon she should have been at work 2 hours ago. _Oh well_ she thought _Will's a push over, he'll let me to anything…so long as I don't tell his wife._ She sighed; Tuesday mornings were always the hardest. But then again Monday was the new Friday and anybody who is anybody is out at the clubs. She pulled on a short black skirt, paired with a low pink cami and a black jacket. She looked professional enough to be working as a secretary at any run of the mill whore house. But Will had never complained, then again why would he? His wife had just had twin baby boys. She looked nothing like Jackie and she allowed Will to show her off to the world. In return she was paid more than any one at the travel agency and could basically come and go as she pleased. She decided this outfit was as good as any other; it would make a perfect lunch outfit. And today, she wanted steak and lobster and cake and ice cream. Of course not to eat, she just wanted to know how she ranked in Wills wallet. So what if he had a wife and kids at home. It was his wife's fault she was with him, any self respecting women would never dear let her body get all huge and stretched out for a couple of dirty little brats. Yes today Will would buy her and expensive lunch. And she would contemplate her next move as Will's wallet was running thin and her expense list wasn't. If she got lucky he would give her a reason to sue him for sexual harassment but her step mother had taught her one simple rule, if your gonna sue you better make sure it's worth your while.

"Here comes the queen bitch" mumbled the brunette by the window.

The room got quiet, no one wanted to mix words with Jackie, she was poison. And once she sank her fangs into you it took a hell of a lot to get it out. Jackie marched straight into Wills office. A few women commented on how someone should tell his wife, but no one would. There are something's that are just too horrible to tell someone. A few men joked about how just touching her could give you a STD but secretly they would all fuck her given the chance. It was the way of the world. From inside Will's office, Jackie's shrill whining voice could be heard along with Wills gruff one. There was the sound of pounding…or was it stomping? Either way no one was alarmed, it would be a blessing if Will decided to kill her, but everyone had been working here long enough to know exactly what was going on behind that door. Jackie was making some wild demand, Will said no maybe that he needed the money for his new family or that he had to stop doing this, Jackie would then of course pitch a fit and scream about law suits telling his wife what he had been doing. Will would then tell her to keep her mouth shut that no one would believe her, and then he would give in to what she wanted. Jackie had always got what she wanted.

"I'll be back in an hour" Will told the brunette sitting by the window. She stared hard into his eyes but he never looked up to meet her gaze.

"Willy's taking me out"

"That's so sweet of you Willy" The brunette said sharply, staring down Jackie. There was no way to win. She wanted to rip out Jackie's cheep tacky over priced hair extensions and tell Wills wife everything. But she needed this job, and she was afraid of Jackie. Not it afraid of her physically of course, but it was something she couldn't explain.

"Beth?"

"Yes Mister Connor?"

"If there are any calls for me while I'm out-"

"You've gone out to lunch and will return shortly"

"Yes thank you very-"

"I'm sorry sir, but I have a call"

There was no call; she just desperately needed a way to force them to go. She couldn't take being a part of this game. It was just too painful.

"She knows, you know" Mark said as soon as he watched Wills car pull out of the lot.

"What"

"The wife, they always know, they can sense it. As long as there is no confirmed evidence of it they can carry on happily"

"Someone needs to tell her"

"And destroy her whole life? He won't leave his wife, men like Will never do. Besides the witch is getting restless she's going to move on to something else"

Beth nodded and went back to her mindless work she hopped Mark was right.

"What are we doing here?!?!?!" Jackie snapped as they pulled into a little bistro.

"You wanted lunch, we can sit outside"

"NO"

"Ok babe whatever you want."

They walked into the small restaurant. There were two waitresses working both blonds. There was a young very handsome man at the bar. It was a cute place, it was expectable.

"Hey baby? Wanna go to the bar and grab us a few drinks and I'll get us a table?"

Jackie didn't answer, she flipped her hair and strolled up to the bar, she would have gone up there whether or not Will asked her. She was in the market for something old new it didn't matter, Will was 43, and the man at the bar was young dark olive skin tall muscular dark hair handsome face. Something Jackie was certainly always in the market for.

"Hi"

He was startled

"Hi"

"How are you? Mr. Big Tall Dark and Handsome"

He smiled shyly.

"Well I'm ok…Beautiful"

Jackie leaned on the bar, showing off her ample cleavage. He took a quick glance, but his eyes pulled away to a young woman with chocolate hair talking to who Jackie could only guess was the manager, and holding what she could only assume was a pay check.

Jackie leaned forward and placed as passionate kiss on the young man's lips.

"I'm Jackie"

"Jack" he whispered back.

"Well Jack, when do you get off?"


	30. I am flawed,But I am cleaning up so well

"CAT?" Patrick stood at the door of cats apartment. They were late for dinner…hell with Cat he was always late. It was like her brain was constantly in a different time zone. And tonight Patrick couldn't afford to be late. They were going to dinner at his father's house. They were already 20 minutes late. "Catherin, let's go" he cursed silently under his breath, he hated being late. And Cats inability to be anywhere on time was starting to get on his nerves. "Cat come on lets-"he paused in front of Cats bed room door. There she stood in front of an easel her hair hanging in tangles. He legs were bar, she was wearing one of his old button down shirts, just the top two buttons were done she had paint streaked across her stomach and hands. Patrick was trying to find his voice. He had never seen her so completely consumed with anything. It was like the world had been put on hold. There was no air there was no life there was only Cat and a paint brush. Bringing to life the nightmares that lived in the deepest realms of her mind. Patrick shook his head he wasn't sure how long he had been standing there it could have been hours for all he knew.

"Cat?" he almost whispered it, it was almost as if talking would disturbed the delicate balance of the room. Like the very sound of his voice would cause the very world to implode. Cat paused and turned around slowly. Her face was different. It wasn't the angelic face of the crazy happy girl he loved. It was so much darker somehow. She looked confused that he was here standing at her door way. Patrick wondered how long she has been standing there painting in that trance like state.

"can I see…what your working on?"

"huh? Ya, yes, yes you can"

Patrick stood there a moment trying to figure out what he thought, the painting was amazing. She had to have been working on this all night he thought, it clearly wasn't finished, but wow. He felt Cat wrap her arms around his waist, (something he hated but had grown use to) and nuzzle her face into his shoulders. "Patrick I'm tired"

"I Know honey, come on lay down"

"oh god Patrick, that dinner thing oh god, I'll get ready shit I'm sorry I forgot and I got this idea last night this insane nagging idea and I had to get it out and I don't know what time it is but im so sorry I let you down"

Patrick placed a kiss on Cats head "don't worry, I didn't wanna go anyway"

"no. no, no you did and I just"

"shh just lay down ok, tomarrow for sure"

Cat didn't say another word, she was already out. Patrick stood there a moment watching her sleep. Patrick wasn't sure what his next move was going to be, he picked up the phone there was on thing he had to get out of the way.

"hello?"

"hey dad"

"Patrick where are you? Your and hour late"

"ya sorry there was a thing with Cat"

"shes ok, did you have a fight "

"no, no, shes fine she I don't know to be honest. I came over and she was like in a I don't know trance I guess is the only way to describe it"

"trance"

"ya she was painting and lost track of time, I don't know how long she was painting but"

"artists"

"ya" Patrick chuckled

"its fine come over tomorrow for some left over's"

"thanks dad love you"

"you better kid,"

"by"

"by"

Patrick hung up the phone and leaned against the wall. Artists was right, but how many times had he lost track of everything when he was writing music. That was something Jackie had hated more than anything, but it wasn't just her who didn't get it. It was hard to explain. He walked back into the bedroom to take another look at that painting. He felt the hair stand up on the back of his neck. It was good but it scared him, and he wasn't sure why it was beautiful and horrifying at the same time. Patrick moved it out of the room and shut the door before stripping and crawling into bed with Cat.

Jack stared at his phone, he was seated sat across from a sexy blond. She was ok but she wasn't Cat. Her laugh didn't light up the room, her smile didn't make his heart sing. She was just there back ground music. Things with Cat had only been getting more and more serious with that guy. What was his name again? Paul or something of that nature. They stopped going out every night and at first Jack thought it meant the romance was fizzling out, but it just meant more time spent in that man's apartment. _He touches her_, Jack thought._ His hands have been on her, his lips…he's had sex with her. I know. The way her face is flushed pink when she comes into work the way she giggles when he stops by to see her. He took her from me. She was mine and he waltzed in and stole her when I wasn't looking. But shes going to be mine again, where she belongs with me not some freak. _

"Jackie-poo are u listening to me?"

"huh?"

"you weren't, what were you thinking about? HUH your with me JACK me ok count your blessings you're a bar tender a nobody be glad Im with you ok?"

"ya that's what I was thinking about"

"what?"

"how pretty you are"

"aww jackie-poo"

The words hurt Jack to say, it was like he was cheating on Cat, and better yet he called Jackie beautiful she was hot but not beautiful not like Cat. No one was like Cat she was prefect. Cat would love him he just needed a chance just an in a reason for her to fall totally and completely for him on chance was all he needed. In the mean time Jackie would have to do. Jackie would train him. She would get him in shape for jumping to Cats every becoming wish and maybe, just maybe Cat would be jealous…

"wakey, wakey"

Patrick groaned and rolled over.

"come on now its time to get up"

"ugh"

"I made you breakfast now get up"

Patrick sat up stared at her then laid back down. Cat giggled. Patrick was anything but a morning person and she knew he would mainline coffee if he could…and wasn't afraid of needles.

"come on" Cat said walking into the kitchen of her apartment. Cat walked back into the room with a big plate of eggs and bacon. She took a bite of the crisp bacon before helping herself to a piece.

"why do you do this to me?" he asked through a mouth full of crisp salty bacon.

"do what?" Cat said offering him his coffee.

"you know im trying to lose weight."

"and you've lost some weight"

"some being the key word here"

"so your fine lay off of this whole dieting nonsense thing ok?"

"easy for you to say"

"meaning what exactly"

"your what a size 2?"

"4"

"my point exactly"

"do you have a point?"

"ya you don't gain weight so u have absolutely no idea how hard this is"

"I know you struggle with it ba-"

"no Cat you don't, you have absolutely no idea what its like at all."

"no need to cop an attitude"

"im not I just don't know how im going to get you to understand, you cooking me all this food isn't helping me and its not like I don't appreciate it or anything but to be honest it just"

Cat had readied herself for an argument, they fought about plenty of things, but this was an argument they had at least once a week. And it was getting old. She hated this side to him, the whinny self concourse why me side. Yes Cat won this argument many times Patrick almost always gave into her. It was a phase, a passing one she hoped but eventually he always gave up.

"forget it you don't care im wasting my time" He swung his feet out of the bed.

"where are you going?"

"Home"

"Patrick come on don't act like-"

"like what?"

"a spoiled brat whose pouting because he didn't get his way."

"my way Cat its always you way."

"I never forced you into doing anything and you know it"

"your calling me spoiled you always have your way, like some spoiled little rich girl."

"ya because I don't want you killing yourself im the bad guy here."

"What ever Cat"

"yes Patrick exactly what ever. The king of passive aggressive behaviors"

"oh ya im so passive aggressive Cat I should be more like you and just loose it on people ya know really bitch them out because I was talked to rudely at the grocery store. Ya real mature Cat"

"oh im sry does me having a spine bother you? Is it some burden to you?"

"you bitch"

"oh name calling isn't that the pot calling the kettle black"

"I hate how controlling you have to be"

"just leave me alone"

"my pleasure"

"your never going to be thin so give it up"

Patrick's jaw dropped, she had hurt him, struck him where she knew she would cause damage. At the same time it came out curler then she had meant it, but the words were out and they had hurt him.

"look Patrick"

"no you've made your self more then clear."

"patrick if yould just"

"save it, I don't wanna hear anymore of your bull shit"

"Patrick listen"

"no you listen to me, you pushy bratty little rich girl"

"what did you just say to me"

"go on go crying back home to your fucked up family see if I fucking care. And while your at it you can fuck Jack a little more don't act like you haven't you fucking tramp"

"get out…"

"what Cat I thought you wanted me to be up fount with you"

"GET THE FUCK OUT."

Patrick turned and walked out, hating himself for saying those things to Cat. He wanted nothing more then to turn around grab her and scream I FUCKING LOVE YOU I don't care what just happened I love you that's it im sorry. But he couldn't he was already out in the parking lot blind with pointless rage, he was made at the world at Cat and himself. He slammed the car door and peeled out of the parking lot. As Patrick pulled on to the road he failed to notice a green sedan, with a familiar young man inside.


End file.
